April Fool's joke or not, it has a certain style.

Today Jose, our beloved IT guru, treated the DM office to lunch with his new found savings from switching his insurance policies to Geico. He consolidated all of his insurance policies including his car, boat, motorcycle, desktop monitor and precious macbook air under one policy. This will save him hundreds of dollars.

Long story short, a good time was had by all and we are looking forward to his picking up the tab at Michy’s for our upcoming celebration dinner as well.

APRIL FOOLS DAY JOSE!!! (This is what you get for putting me as admin for the blog and testing the new features!)

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, 'Your
Honour, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have
Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom
Kippur and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'obviously your
client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own
atheists ' holiday!'

The lawyer pompously said, 'Your Honour, we are unaware of any such
holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honour?'
The judge said, 'Well it comes every year on exactly the same
date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as 'April Fools Day,'
considering that Psalm 14:1-states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is
no God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then
by scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st is his holiday!
Now have a good day and get out of my courtroom!!

Pero lamentablemente (o afortunadamente) tengo que decirles que esto no es más que un fake. La compañía IGN decidió que éste año haría una gran broma para el April Fool's Day (como el Día de los Inocentes) haciendo un muy realistico trailer de una supuesta pelicula con la historia de "The Legend Of Zelda: The Ocarina Of Time" el mítico juego de Nintendo 64. Vaya broma, no?... Lo que me llama más la atención de éste caso es que la compañía haya gastado tanto dinero en una broma... pero bueno, cada quien.

Muchos Fans de la saga se dejaron engañar y otros lo dudaron por un momento, ya que los rumores de una pelicula con la historia de éste grandioso juego han estado rondando la web desde ya hace buen tiempo. Creo que por lo pronto nos tendremos que conformar con éste trailer de la supuesta pelicula.

Como sea, encontré un trailer de una pelicula (al parecer real) de Zelda, pero que es de bajo presupuesto (se nota) y no tiene nada que ver con la compañía Nintendo, se los dejo, para su consideración:

Yo la verdad es que no se si quisiera una pelicula de este juego, ya que a mi la verdad es que me encanta, y no quisiera ver que en una pelicula lo arruinaran todo.

And we have likely all felt the fool in one way or another. Share your greatest challenge. Or one of those terrible, horrible no good, very bad days where the only thing there is to do seems to involve moving to Australia.

Hmmm....Bad days.  I guess, like everything else in life, it depends on your perspective.  We've had some pretty bad days here this year.  But as far as homeschooling goes, more good ones than  not. 

Our worst days are the ones where my plans butt up against her reality.  I want to our work, run errands, have lunch, and be ready to play for the rest of the day.  She wants to start out with play, then maybe errands, and school work if we get to it!  I have learned that it isnt worth fighting about.  I can sneak "school" in all day if I need to, and she doesnt even realize it!  But it has taken me awhile to overcome the OCD part of me that wants to complete 2 reading lessons, a writing lesson, etc... and remember that catching bugs for an hour in the yard can count as science; counting money at the store counts as math; reading signs in the grocery is reading practice.  Sick days happen to PS kids and teachers too.  Class parties and field trips disrupt routines at PS.  I've learned to let go more. 

My girls love to be tricked on April Fool’s Day. Every year I try to do something and every year they try to trick Mike and I. I’m always on my guard so I have spoiled it for them more times than I care to remember. That just makes them try harder and look forward to next year. This year I asked them if it’s OK to do something mean. The kids were just so desperate to be fooled that they totally agreed it would be just dandy. I just happened to make a doctor’s appointment for their looooong overdue shots on April 1st and I figured I’ll tell them I’ll take them out for ice-cream but take them to the doctor’s instead. Yeah, I got a strike of mean in me. heeheehee

They failed to fooled me yet again and I did take them out for ice-cream last night - twice as a matter of fact, both times after the shots, though.

A couple of years ago they came up with the best trick and it was probably the only time they had really fooled me. April 1st fell on a weekend and they woke up before us and switched the inside bags of each cereal box we had. Quite a feat considering we had about 17 different ones at the time. So, I was groggy enough when I woke up that I haven’t noticed what was going on until I started eating. Then, I was all, did I get the wrong box? I could’ve swore I got the one I wanted, WTH? They were delighted that it worked and I thought I would be annoyed that I was tricked, but instead I was all proud that they finally 'got' me!

April Fool's Day neix a Tarragona, l'abril de 2002. El seu estil es caracteritza pel joc de guitarres, ritmes i melodies, sovint combinades amb sons digitals, acostant-se al pop psicodèlic.

Seguint el seu to intimista, els April Fool's Day van grabar el seu segon àlbum ("9th") l'any passat, sota la discogràfica Junk Records.

Durant el programa han sonat temes com Three small sponge cakes o And more than nine hundred.

April Fool's Day actuaran al Primavera Sound, el proper 1 de juny.

Podeu escoltar-los i estar al dia dels seus concerts visitant: www.myspace.com/aprilfoolsday

The porpeller cap in the ski Village.

The swirly glass are in the Cove

the forest is up side down

the iceberg is all icey

i dont realy know what is thay sopouse to be?.....

thats it thank you.

John McCain appeared on "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday night. However, things got awkward when McCain kept saying how happy he was to be a guest on "The Tonight Show with Steve Allen."

John McCain appeared on "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday night. The show aired at 6:30pm.

John McCain appeared on "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday night. McCain was cranky because the show tapes at 5:30pm, which conflicts with the early bird special.

John McCain will meet with Secret Service officials this week to accepting security protection for the remainder of his presidential campaign. An unnamed Secret Service agent told Big News that the 71-year old candidate has already requested his own musket-proof vest.

As his campaign continues, John McCain is attempting to distance himself from President Bush. Unfortunately, every time McCain gets a little distance, he has to stop and catch his breath, allowing Bush to catch up.

In a speech at his alma mater last week, John McCain told students at Episcopal High School that the private boarding school was instrumental to his upbringing. In response, the principal called McCain the school's brightest graduate in the Class of 19-Ought-9.

John McCain's campaign stops this week included speeches before alma maters Episcopal High School, the Naval Academy, and the base in Florida were he was in flight school. This confirms suspicions that his presidential campaign is simply an elaborate ploy to help McCain cross off the world's most boring Bucket List.

In a speech at his alma mater last week, John McCain told students at Episcopal High School that the private boarding school was instrumental to his upbringing. McCain also lectured students on the importance of staying off of his front lawn.

Narrowing down 20 or so names on a list of potential Republican vice presidential candidates will take weeks, if not months, Sen. John McCain told reporters Wednesday. Other chores that take McCain weeks, if not months, to complete are finding his keys, remembering his wife's name and distinguishing his car from his toaster.

(yes, John McCain is old)

Senator Hillary Clinton and former President Clinton reported $20.4 million in income for 2007 and more than $109 million since 2000. Almost half the former first couple's money came from his speeches, though most of which were given under enemy sniper fire after landing in a war-torn auditorium.

On the campaign trail this week, Senator Hillary Clinton compared herself to fictional boxing legend Rocky Balboa. Like Rocky, Hillary is the underdog who won't quit...and will most likely lose her first big fight.

On the campaign trail this week, Senator Hillary Clinton compared herself to fictional boxing legend Rocky Balboa. The tactic has already boosted her campaign, which today received an endorsement from the ghost of Burgess Meredith.

On the campaign trail this week, Senator Hillary Clinton compared herself to fictional boxing legend Rocky Balboa. In a related story, John McCain is often compared to Rambo, because he is a crazy vet who has lost touch with reality.

While speaking in Philadelphia Hillary Clinton likened herself to Rocky Balboa saying she is not a quitter. Observers also noted that she’s too old, kind of mealy mouthed, and doesn’t know when to stop trying to make crappy sequels.

While speaking in Philadelphia, Hillary Clinton likened herself to Rocky Balboa, saying she is not a quitter. When asked how Clinton's campaign was affecting the Democratic party, Howard Dean likened her to "Demolition Man."

While speaking in Philadelphia, Hillary Clinton likened herself to Rocky Balboa. And just like her hero she is past her prime, has overstayed her welcome and is in fact a fictional character. Oh and she wants a rematch.

While speaking in Philadelphia Hillary Clinton likened herself to Rocky Balboa, saying she is not a quitter. Clinton apparently has forgotten that in the first Rocky film, Rocky lost the big fight to his charismatic African-American opponent.

A new CBS News-New York Times poll released Thursday showed 81 percent of respondents said they believed "things have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track." Immediately Republican spin doctors blamed the results on the liberal media's bias, without which the poll result would be a low 80 percent.

A new CBS News-New York Times poll released Thursday showed 81 percent of respondents said they believed things in America "have pretty seriously gotten off on the wrong track." In a similar poll taken in Iraq, 81 percent of respondents said "I can't find my legs."

Recession fears worsened this week as employers slashed 80,000 jobs, the most in five years, and the national unemployment rate climbed to 5.1 percent. In contrast, President Bush still expressed faith in the U.S. economy, pointing to the 5.1 percent jump in demand for unemployment benefit workers.

Recession fears worsened this week as employers slashed 80,000 jobs, the most in five years, and the national unemployment rate climbed to 5.1 percent. The economy is expected to rebound next January when President Bush becomes the 80,001ist unemployed American.

For the first time ever, the army is letting husband-and-wife soldiers deployed in Iraq to share the same living quarters. As a result, the tension in Iraq is expected to escalate.

For the first time ever, the army is letting husband-and-wife soldiers deployed in Iraq to share the same living quarters. The move was created to help married soldiers restore a sense of normalcy into their lives by allowing wives to withhold sex.

Despite investigations into civilian shootings and tax violations as an Iraq War contractor, the State Department has renewed the multimillion dollar deal with private contractor Blackwater USA. President Bush justified the controversial expense, stating this is all part of his No Scandal Left Behind policy.

Despite investigations into civilian shootings and tax violations as an Iraq War contractor, the State Department has renewed the multimillion dollar deal with private contractor Blackwater USA. It's the worst renewal since President Bush won in 2004.

Google has been recruited by US intelligence agencies to help them better process and share information they gather about suspects. Google's first step in assisting the CIA will be red flagging all web searches for "Terrorist Porn".

Google has been recruited by US intelligence agencies to help them better process and share information they gather about suspects. Google's first step will be to share the information they have about everyone.

Google has been recruited by US intelligence agencies to help them better process and share information they gather about suspects. The CIA chose Google for their powerful search engine algorithms and the fact that they know everything about everyone.

Google has been recruited by US intelligence agencies to help them share information they gather about suspects. Not to be outdone, Yahoo has offered its service to the FBI to help them better finger immigrants and citizens who own over 3 oz of shampoo.

New statistics released last week show that overall violent crime in Los Angeles has fell slightly for the first three months of the year. Experts believe the drop in the rate is due to half the celebrities being in rehab.

This past Tuesday was April Fool's Day. Or as Ralph Nader supporters call it, April first.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. The children are too young to face criminal charges and authorities are just glad that kids are learning something in school.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. Under Georgia law, the children are too young to face criminal charges, but are old enough to start their own moonshine racket.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. Authorities are praising the kids for choosing physical activity over sitting in front of the television.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. Since the children are too young to serve jail time, the police arrested MacGyver.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. As punishment, the third-graders are no longer allowed to watch Project Runway.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. This is not the first threat faced by the teacher as she is a known poopy-face meany.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. And in related news, Fox has announced their newest reality show: "Are You Tougher Than a 3rd Grader?"

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. Immediately President Bush announced another troop surge to fight al Kid-a terrorists in Iraq.

A group of third-graders in Georgia plotted to attack their teacher using duct tape, mittens, ribbons, a paperweight and a broken steak knife. Police say the children were angered after the teacher made disparaging comments about Miley Cyrus.

Inspectors at the Port of Long Beach found no traces of chemicals on a cargo container that came into port marked with graffiti saying "Anthrax a gift from Osama". Unfortunately, inspectors found an even more dangerous contaminant: the actual band Anthrax.

Inspectors at the Port of Long Beach found no traces of chemicals on a cargo container that came into port marked with graffiti saying "Anthrax a gift from Osama". This proves once again that nobody does April Fools Day quite like Osama Bin Laden.

Inspectors at the Port of Long Beach found no traces of chemicals on a cargo container that came into port marked with graffiti saying "Anthrax a gift from Osama". But it did correspond with the Presidential daily briefing that said, "Osama determined to graffiti containers in Long Beach."

Saudi Prince al-Walid bin Talal has announced plans to build a mile-high skyscraper in the port town of Jeddah. He plans to erect the structure using Jeddah Mind Tricks.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture is treating nearly eighty thousand trees in New Jersey and New York to prevent a deadly beetle invasion. After the treatment, officials expect only Ringo will be left.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture is treating nearly eighty thousand trees in New Jersey and New York to prevent a deadly beetle invasion. The chemical treatment became the last option after exposing the trees to Yoko Ono albums failed.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture is treating nearly eighty thousand trees in New Jersey and New York to prevent a deadly beetle invasion. An even more dangerous Heather Mills outbreak is expected to follow.

Finland replaced its foreign minister Ilkka Kanerva after newspapers published suggestive text messages he sent to an erotic dancer. Kanerva has already recieved job offers from the New York governor’s office and the Detroit mayoral office.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was arrested in Heathrow Airport this week for allegedly spitting on a police officer. In her defense, Campbell claims that she didn't spit but just vomited up everything she’d eaten for the past two days.

Naomi Campbell was arrested on Thursday at Heathrow Airport for allegedly spitting at a police officer. Campbell apologized, saying she had confused the police officer with her personal assistant.

Naomi Campbell was arrested on Thursday at Heathrow Airport for allegedly spitting at a police officer. The 37 year-old former super-model appeared relieved to have found someplace she could still get arrested.

NBC announced Monday that Kathy Lee Gifford will be coming back to television as the co-host for the "Today” show. The hire proves NBC's commitment to recycling.

Kathie Lee Gifford will join the cast of the “Today” show tomorrow as the host of the 10 am time block after being out of television for eight years. NBC is hoping the time off has taught Gifford that no one cares about her children.

Rapper 50 Cent, who told Time magazine last year he was supporting Hillary Clinton for president, has officially shifted his allegiance to Barack Obama. Analysts predict the endorsement will force Clinton to regain her street cred by knifing a bitch.

The AP reported that the latest celebrity to testify in the federal wiretapping case against Anthony Pellicano was actor Chris Rock. Most shocking was that the AP listed Chris Rock as an actor.

On Friday, actor Chris Rock assisted the federal wiretapping committee by testifying at a racketeering trial. This just in: actress Lindsay Lohan has agreed to assist the federal government in all future cases of kegtapping.

Jerry Seinfeld walked away unhurt from a car wreck last week, after the brakes failed during a drive in his 1967 Fiat sedan. Critics are calling it his worse crash landing since the "Seinfeld" finale.

Jerry Seinfeld was involved in a rollover accident on Saturday when his brakes failed to work. The failure occurred after the brake lines were cut by someone who paid $12 to see "Bee Movie."

Jerry Seinfeld was involved in a rollover accident on Saturday when his brakes failed to work. Seinfeld's totaled car was towed away by actor-turned-junkman Jason Alexander, after his last two sitcoms failed to work.

Illusionist David Blaine celebrated turning 35 this week with a special trick; He's made his career disappear for the past 2 years.

Heather Mills will be one of the celebrity judges in this year's Miss USA pageant. Mills will be judging the "having more than one leg" category.

Jay-Z is in the works to sign a deal worth $150 million dollars with Live Nation. The deal will finally allow Jay-Z to be financially set for his upcoming 8 retirements.

Jay-Z is in the works to sign a deal worth $150 million dollars with Live Nation. However, after paying for a secret wedding to longtime girlfriend Beyonce, Jay-Z will only be left with enough money to buy a Big Mac.

"American Idol" contestant David Cook was taken to the hospital after Tuesday's show after suffering from heart palpitations and high blood pressure. Cook used the hospital stay to win over Paula Abdul's favor by smuggling out as many drugs as possible.

"American Idol" contestant David Cook was taken to the hospital after Tuesday's show after suffering from heart palpitations and high blood pressure. Doctor's say these symptoms are normal after realizing millions of people are watching Paula Abdul.

Adam Sandler broke his ankle while playing a pickup game of basketball. Doctors called the break so-so, with the worst part being the Rob Schneider cameo.

Rikki Rockett, drummer for 80’s band Poison, was arrested this week and charged with raping a woman from Missisippi. Mr. Rocket allegedly raped the woman at the drive-in, in his old man's Ford, behind some bushes and in a locked basement.

Rikki Rockett, drummer for 80’s band Poison, was arrested his week and charged with raping a woman from Missisippi. In a related story, Brett Michaels has been accused of raping anyone who ever watched "Rock of Love."

Woody Allen is suing American Apparel for $10 million, saying it used his image without permission on billboards. The marketing campaign that featured Mr. Allen was to help publicize the retailer's new "Child Predator" line of clothing.

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. The woman was released after she promised to turn the volume on her boom box down.

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. The woman was charged with impersonating John Cusack.

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. The woman was charged with living in 1989.

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. The woman later admitted the whole thing was a stunt arranged by Cusack to prove he's still famous enough to be stalked.

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. When asked why by law enforcement officials, the woman merely responded that she wanted her $9 back for having to sit through "Martian Child."

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. The woman later admitted she was trying to stalk Anthony Michael Hall but John Cusack seemed sadly more available.

A 33 year old woman was arrested Sunday outside John Cusack's Malibu home after the actor notified police that she was stalking him. The only words the woman spoke were, "I want my $2 dollars."

Excitement spread in Cuba with the announcement that new president Raul Castro has opened the country’s hotels and resorts to all Cubans. The excitement was short lived, however, when citizens realized that Castro meant only the immediate family of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.

SAG and AFTRA, the two Hollywood performers' unions, have decided not to negotiate together with producers after the unions argued over which one should have soap actors as members. The argument consisted of each side saying, "You take them", followed by "No, you take them."

A group of homeless people in Philadelphia have formed a running club. The city’s mayor offered to pay for all their equipment if they would run to New Jersey, where the smell will be less noticeable.

A group of homeless people in Philadelphia have formed a running club. The city’s mayor offered to pay for all their running equipment if they would agree to run to New Jersey, and stay there.

A group of homeless people in Philadelphia have formed a running club. The number of homeless runners fell sharply after the first week due to the difficulty of keeping coins from flying out of their change cups.

A group of homeless people in Philadelphia have formed a running club. The number of homeless runners fell sharply after the first week due to the difficulty of running with a fully loaded shopping cart.

A group of homeless people in Philadelphia have formed a running club. The club has often been mistaken for a group of Obama supporters due to their frequent use of the word “change.”

A new study shows that babies born very prematurely have a greater chance of being autistic. Meanwhile, men who ejaculate very prematurely have a greater chance of not having any kind of baby.

A new study found no evidence that owning a portable heart defibrillator at home produces any significant life-saving benefits. However, it will continue help set the atmosphere for couples wishing to roleplay as doctor and nurse in the bedroom.

A new study found no evidence that owning a portable heart defibrillator at home produces any significant life-saving benefits. The news is shocking, but not helpful.

A new study found no evidence that owning a portable heart defibrillator at home produces any significant life-saving benefits. Researchers did, however, discover that exposure to concentrated blasts of high voltage makes rats explode.

MySpace announced on Thursday that it was launching a music site said a spokesman. The first thing MySpace has to do is figure what kind of music child predators really like.

A new study reveals that roughly one in fifty U.S. infants are victims of child abuse or neglect. However, analysts believe the study may be skewed because much of the abuse occurs at the Spears home.

Scientists in Oregon have uncovered fossilized feces that have been dated at 14,000 years old, making them the oldest human remains uncovered in the Americas. Besides Larry King.

Dr. Melvin Levine, a well-known pediatrician and author of the bestselling pediatrics book "A Mind At A Time", was accused last week of molesting an 8-year-old patient in the 80s. Levine is now working on his second book, "A Behind At a Time."

Last week, a robotic spacecraft from Europe successfuly docked with the International Space Station during its first attempt. While the docking lasted only two minutes, the spacecraft promises to last longer once he gets more experience.

According to the results of a nationwide test, only one-fourth of America’s high school students are proficient writers. To solve the problem, schools have started supplying the students with free whiskey and cigarettes.

According to the results of a nationwide test, only one-fourth of America’s high school students are proficient writers. Which is better than the other three-fourths who can't read.

According to the results of a nationwide test, only one-fourth of America’s high school students are proficient writers. In response, high school students text messaged back "LOLZ."

According to the results of a nationwide test, only one-fourth of America’s high school students are proficient writers. Which is weird, because 100% of them are depressed.

A former professional wrestler has been sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of leading a sex trafficking ring. The sentence will give the wrestler plenty of time to practice being piledrived.

A former professional wrestler has been sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of leading a sex trafficking ring. On the bright side, the wrestler was proud that his sex trafficking ring looked so real.

A former professional wrestler has been sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of leading a sex trafficking ring. The wrestler was surprised he got caught, because usually when he does something illegal, the ref isn't looking.

A former stripper-turned-soccer-mom convicted of plotting to kill her former fiance was sentenced Wednesday to prison. But the judge gave her the total 99-year sentence in ones and fives.

A survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes. After 13 minutes the doll usually needs re-inflated.

A survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes: 3 minutes for men, 13 minutes for women.

Japanese police have arrested a U.S. sailor for allegedly killing a Japanese taxi driver near an American naval base just outside Tokyo. The even will be featured on the new HBO series, Japanese Taxi Driver Murder Confessions.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. The man was reported to have had several such liaisons between the hours of 10 and 12 because he loved his morning wood.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. Neighbors became suspicious because of the familiar taste of the man's special sauce.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. In the man's defense, it was consensual.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. In the man's defense, it was consensual. Even worse, the picnic table was underage.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. In his defense, the table was asking for it.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. Commented the arresting officer, "Hey, at least the guy was wearing a condiment."

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. The police were lenient, given the man just suffered a painful breakup with a slip-n-slide.

An Ohio man was caught having sex with a picnic table in public. Even more disturbing, it was anal sex.

The American Heart Association has urged that bystanders who see someone collapse give the person "hands-only" CPR even if they are not trained in the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation part of it. However, the group warns that bystanders should not adopt the "hands-only" approach only because the person has big boobs.

The American Heart Association has urged that bystanders who see someone collapse give the person "hands-only" CPR even if they are not trained in the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation part of it. However, the hands-only rule does not apply for erectile dysfunction.

The American Heart Association has urged that bystanders who see someone collapse give the person "hands-only" CPR. Using this method also makes it much easier to take the victim's wallet.

The American Heart Association has urged that bystanders who see someone collapse give the person "hands-only" CPR. Doctors believe it will increase heart-related fatalities but will stop the spread of Herpes 1.

The American Heart Association has urged that bystanders who see someone collapse give the person "hands-only" CPR. In addition if someone is choking, please have the decency to use the new, "Heim-only" Maneuver.

New research suggests there is no scientific evidence that drinking a lot of water has health benefits. In fact, there's something in the water causing a rash of new research that doesn't produce any results.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the popular monument was built. Initial theories are that early English men had a lot of stones, a lot of tools and a lot of chores at home.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the popular monument was built. Many archaeologists feel Stonehenge is a religious monument, because like most religious practices, the structure makes no sense.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the popular monument was built. The dig was necessary since Keith Richards won't tell them.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the popular monument was built, and are about to make their first discovery: giant stone monoliths standing for centuries quickly fall over when you dig giant holes around them.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the prehistoric monument was built. So far, the dig has unearthed ancient croquet mallets.

British archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the prehistoric monument was built. British archaeologists will then start a dig at a local dental school, so they can figure out what exactly why it was built.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the popular monument was built. Initial theories are that early English men were really into heavy metal.

Archaeologists started a dig at Stonehenge on Monday to try to uncover why the popular monument was built. The archaeologists conjecture that Strawhenge and Stickhenge were destroyed by a big, bad wolf.

In Florida, 40 people were treated for minor burns after a fireworks malfunction at last Sunday night's Wrestlemania 24. Unfortunately, the only treatment the official WWE doctor had on-staff were placebos.

In Florida, 40 people were treated for minor burns after a fireworks malfunction at last Sunday night's Wrestlemania 24. The most effective treatment turned out to be the Reverse Frankensteiner.

In Florida, 40 people were treated for minor burns after a fireworks malfunction at last Sunday night's Wrestlemania 24. All the patients experience a quick recovery from their burns, plus huge muscle growth and shrunken testicles.

This week, Yahoo launched Shine, a new site targeted for women aged 25-54. The site will discuss pertinent issues like food, fashion, beauty, romance, and other ways to set the women’s movement back to 1956.

This week, Yahoo launched Shine, a new site targeted for women aged 25-54. The new site focuses on women’s issues but will go offline once a month for scheduled upkeep and chocolate binges.

A gay couple that moved from New Jersey to Idaho has lost eligibility for medical benefits, due to Idaho not recognizing same-sex unions. The state does, however, recognize that gays can do whatever they want within their own private Idaho.

Country music legend Merle Haggard celebrates his seventy-first birthday Sunday. The biggest surprise Haggard got for his birthday: still being alive.

And finally, Charlton Heston, the Oscar-winning star of "The Ten Commandments" and "Planet of the Apes," died Saturday at his Beverly Hills home at age 84. Heston died from shock after seeing the Statue of Liberty and realizing he's actually been on Earth this whole time.

And finally, Charlton Heston, the Oscar-winning star of "The Ten Commandments" and "Planet of the Apes," died Saturday at his Beverly Hills home at age 84. Heston also starred in Orson Welles's "Touch of Evil" in 1958, making him the last United States citizen to take a job away from a Mexican.

Sorry for the late post.

Anyway, happy birthday Gred and Forge! :D

Dan Baines, a props designer, designed and constructed the mummified remains of a fairy, and posted photos of the same on his website. The site got 20,000 hits in one day, and even though Baines released a statement on April 1, 2007 that the whole thing was a hoax, some people are still disseminating Baines' original photos and text via inbox-clogging emails (without the April Fools' disclaimer).

When I opened the email, I remember thinking what a beautiful and intricate figurine the mummified fairy was. I didn't really read the text, assuming from the start that it was a hoax and that I should get what pleasure I could from the pretty pictures before hitting the 'delete' button.

I heard footsteps as another co-worker who had been sent the email rushed over to my cubicle mate, and in all seriousness, asked:

Is this real?

I held my breath, not knowing what the tactful reply to this credulous question could possibly be. How do you say "um, no...DUH" politely?

The reply came:

Well, I believe in fairies, so...

Whoa. WHAT?

She actually said, under the bright glare of flourescent lighting, in a government office, a woman of 30 years ACTUALLY said, I. Believe. In. Fairies.

There were no hails of derisive laughter, no "are you serious?", nothing of the sort. Instead there was this, from yet another co-worker:

Yeah, I reckon I have a guardian angel. I went to a psychic and she told me that someone was looking out for me. And I've been in three big car crashes and lived, so...

Three car crashes? I'd fire that guardian angel for negligence.

Now I know there are people "out there" who believe these things. But I didn't think the people I worked with on a daily basis, who look oh-so-normal apart from their shoe fetishes, could possibly fall prey to such ridiculous notions. These are women who are tough nuts when it comes to negotiation in business. They're women with responsible jobs. They're intelligent people. But they believe in little people with wings.

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to the fairy and angel conversation without turning into a slobbering ranting maniac, so I calmly stood up, walked to the nearest bookstore and bought a copy of Michael Shermer's Why People Believe Weird Things. It has a chapter in it entitled Why Smart People Believe Weird Things, which offers me some insight into how people can be critical thinkers in most aspects of their lives, and be completely blind in others.

The book has been sitting in my Fortress of Reason (aka my desk) for a while now. A few people have seen it and commented, and I've even had a discussion with someone in this office about Intelligent Design.

I used to talk about these things with my co-workers all the time when I worked as a science communicator, but now, as an office lackey, my conversations are usually limited to what people did on the weekend, or where the best shoe sales are today (I usually zone out when that one comes up).

It's very lonely.

Maybe you just can't help people who want to believe in fairies.

Now that I am past that stage, however, I feel the need to share what I am willing to bet is one of the top 5 best April Fools Day jokes in history. Before I tell you about it, you're going to need some background on my sister, affectionately referred to in this posting as The Lying Jack Ass (LJA). The LJA is, like me, in her early 20s. But that is really about the only similarity there. She's single - I'm married. She's carefree - I just signed a living will last month. She's trendy - I wear a cardigan every other day. She was her sorority president in college - I cried through rush and never pledged. Got the picture?

(The Lying Jack Ass at Christmas. Classy.)

More necessary background to know is that she works in PR for a company in Atlanta and has been talking about how some of her clients are going through major restructuring. Many of her clients are international. Okay, I think that's it for background.

So, April 1, The LJA sends out the following email to our parents and me. The title of the email is: BIG NEWS: Family Discussion Needed ASAP:

The other day, none other than April Fools Day, I received an e-mail saying that "Pizza Hut is now Pasta Hut!" I was a little taken aback considering, what is ONE item that you know Pizza Hut serving that is pasta? (It's a rhetorical question, don't try to get all technical on me!) I took it for face value and was thought to myself, "Hmm - this very well could be real. We're changing our name at the credit union, but we aren't doing it on April Fools Day."

Today, I found this site and it simply confirms that I am in fact, gullible. I'll challenge the assertion that America is headed into a second Great Depression (someone offered that to me yesterday, I slightly laughed), but Pizza Hut is becoming Pasta Hut? Hey, whatever brings them customers, right?

Silly, silly me.

Sweltering Classrooms - Image from: http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2006/Aug/06/ln/FP608060346.html

March 31, I told the class all about April Fool's Day. I told them the sorts of jokes we play in America, such as switching the salt into the sugar bowl, and the sugar into the salt shaker. I told them about silly messages that get left for people in offices; for example, messages to call Mr. Lyon (but the number given for Mr. Lyon being the zoo), or messages to call Mr. Traudt (but the number given for Mr. Traudt being a fish hatchery). Before the students arrived this morning, I had written April Fool's Day up on the chalk board as well.

That morning our elementary headmistress agreed to come to my class during the first period, bring me a printed paper memo, and tell me that I must read it urgently. My assistant and I made a show of looking at it in consternation, and commenting quietly to each other about our vacation plans being interrupted, and looking unhappy.

I then told the class I had something very important to tell them. I read from the paper about how the whole elementary school is not achieving good enough results in learning correct English, and how every class has gotten behind in their curriculum; therefore, just this year, the end of the school year will be extended from early June, until the end of July. I clarified this by explaining that we would all still have our summer vacation, but that it would only be for four weeks (all of August) instead of the usual ten weeks!

When I did this this with a previous class two years ago, several of them had said they would be traveling, so it didn't matter to them. To forestall this problem, I continued to "read" that anyone who needed to leave before the term was finished was free to do so, but that they would have to repeat the school year.

Everyone was in shock and started to comment about their vacation plans (but luckily no one cried--if they had, I would have ended it right away). I suggested that perhaps they could get their families to reschedule their vacation plans. Some students thought that might be possible; others did not.

Then one student commented it would be terribly hot in July. (Our classroom often gets up to 110°F inside the class during May and June. We do have two small fans, but that hardly does anything for a class of 26 students.) I suggested that perhaps we could get our headmaster to drop the school dress code (and uniforms) just for summer time, and that we could all come to class in shorts and spaghetti straps! The class began to perk up. I suggested that for our end-of-term party, we could wear bathing suits in the classroom, and bring in some tubs of water to play in. They began to smile!

Then I told them I had the most important thing of all to say. I asked them to put their hands in their laps, and put their eyes on me. This is what I always ask them to do when I have something very important to say. Then I told them, "April Fool!" We all had a good laugh, but it now took me three or four minutes to convince some students it was all a joke. I reassured them that they would have their full ten weeks vacation, and they were all very relieved!

Eileen

Dear Reviewer,

While I understand you have taken much time to construct your review and rate the product or food, I feel it necessary to bring you back down to reality. Those five stars you are speaking of must be the five stars the black hole sucked up and spit back out because even the black hole couldnt stomach 'em.

It was more than slightly convicting because one of the hardest things for me to take control of in my life is my tongue. It may be the gift of gab or the curse of chatter, but either way I am constantly reminding myself "when words are many sin is not absent" or "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight."
To be honest, I don't want to be a fool, nor look like one. So let me cease this chatter and let the scripture speak for itself:

Enjoy (Gods word):

Psalm 14:1
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God." They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good. Psalm 74:22
Rise up, O God, and defend your cause; remember how fools mock you all day long.Proverbs 10:8
The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.

Proverbs 15:2
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.Proverbs 15:7
The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.Proverbs 15:14
The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.

Kos thinks it's a bad poll.  I think it's very clever of Sen. Clinton's supporters to remember April fools day.

Yesterday was April Fool's, so you can imagine all the lies and half-truths that found their way through the internet to (un)suspecting victims around the world. I found myself closing my RSS feeder in the afternoon for a while due to its rampancy. The ONE April Fool's joke that actually got me for a moment was /Film's post about Peter Weir remaking Werner Herzog's infamous film Fitzcarraldo, starring Daniel Day Lewis in the lead role, with Mick Jagger on board for the score, and Werner Herzog himself in the producer's chair. Now this is one fine April Fool's joke; it's not painfully obvious like the plethora of superhero movie posts. It blends AWESOME with UNBELIEVABLE in a great way. And coincidentally, I was just assigned to watch Fitzcarraldo in my European Cinema class last night.

Truthfully, I'm not absolutely convinced that it IS an April Fool's joke. The main reason why I would think that it's fake is the mention of Mick Jagger, which instantly reminds me of Jonny Greenwood working on There Will Be Blood last year, which also starred Daniel Day Lewis. If more news comes along, I'll post it here. But until that happens, assume this is isn't happening.

In other news, the great Roger Ebert announced yesterday that he's back in the game:

Dear Readers:

I am at last returning to the movie beat. After my current stay at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, I’m looking forward to opening night of my annual film festival at the University of Illinois on April 23, and I will resume writing movie reviews shortly thereafter.

Are you as bored with my health as I am? I underwent a third surgery in January, this one in Houston, and once again there were complications. I am sorry to say that my ability to speak was not restored. That would require another surgery. But I still have all my other abilities, including the love of viewing movies and writing about them. And at my side I have my angelic wife, Chaz.