hanging out in a container we have sitting on the side of the tub. I googled it and discovered it's a house centipede. I don't really care what it is. I don't want it in my house. I don't care that it eats spiders and ants. Thinking of that thing crawling on me gives me the willies. Blech! (Yah- I know I majored in biology in college, but that doesn't mean I like bugs.)  How it got in our apartment is what I want to know.  Apparently they like dark, cool places so I'm thinking it came in through the pipes in the bathroom.  DISGUSTING!!  I hope I never see one again.  EVER.

Methinks that was a wee bit pathetic of me - but I also think most of you would have screamed too.

Dean's objective commentary:
Giant centipede
Slowly crawling up the wall
Behind my desk ew

Jumat, 1 Agustus 2008, yang pasti tengah malem!!!

Ga bisa tidur, ga tau kenapa, kayanya ngga ngantuk tapi nguap-nguap mulu. Ditelpon Uke dari Bali, ngobrol-ngobrol bentar. Udahan telpon akhirnya nyalain laptop lagi. Awalnya, cuma mau maen game aja ampe suntuk mampus, baru tidur. Pertama-tama maen GTA tapi bosen, terus maen game flash malah mentok, maen PES 2008 menang mulu, akhirnya maen Solitaire. Ampe deal, deal, deal, dan deal jadinya bosen. Akhirnya onlen deh. Buka apa ya? Awalnya mau buka youporn youtube, tapi ga jadi. Akhirnya liat blog, eh ada comment satu biji. Pas diliat dari bey a.k.a. bebek. Inget bey jadi laper, pengen makan bebek tepung.

Gara-gara laper jadinya malah masak mie. Akhirnya makan mie juga, padahal pengen makan bebek. Setelah makan mie dengan sambel+merica yang ga nanggung-nanggung saya tambahin ke mie-nya, saya kenyang. Nah, abis itu saya ke kamar mandi, mau BAS (Buang Air Seni).

Nyalain lampu kamar mandi, terus pake sendal jepit KINA favorit saya. Pas saya masuk kamar mandi, nah ini dia yang bikin saya posting. Saya langsung teriak AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! sambil banting pintu kamar mandi.

"Ada apaan sih?" Itu adalah kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut babeh dan enyak saya yang kaget keluar dari kamar gara-gara anaknya teriak keras banget kaya kesurupan arwah penasaran korban pembunuhan Ryan.

Saya sambil nunjuk-nunjuk ke arah kamar mandi ngomong, "ada LIPAAAAAN!!!"

***

Waktu masih tinggal di Lampung, kira-kira umur 7 tahun. Waktu itu saya yang lagi tidur kebangun. Posisi lagi ngehadap tembok. Dan pas kebangun, persis di depan muka ada LIPAN!!! Saya jumpalitan teriak ga karuan. LIPAN sepanjang tangan orang dewasa lagi ngeliuk-liuk jalan di tembok depan muka saya. Sama babeh itu LIPAN langsung dibunuh, pake apaan saya lupa. Terus langsung dibakar, ampe bentuknya ga ada lagi. Saya langsung trauma kalo liat LIPAN sejak itu.

***

Itu LIPAN ada di kamar mandi. Di tengah-tengah kamar mandi lagi jalan ngeliuk-liuk bikin saya jijik plus takut kalo LIPAN-nya gigit saya. Hasil trauma sejak kecil bikin fobia yang akibatnya langsung gemeteran ditambah pusing mendadak. Ada satu obatnya yang sebenernya gampang banget. Tinggal bunuh LIPAN-nya aja. Tapi kudu dibakar, kalo ga dibakar ga sreg aja.

Jadi LIPAN di kamar mandi itu langsung digepok pake sapu lidi, terus disemprot pake baygon, disiram porstex, dan terakhir dipanggang!!! Hufh, lega deh.

LIPAN-nya sih ga gede, masih ABG. Ya kira-kira sepanjang jari tengah orang dewasa. Tapi ngeliatnya itu, iiih mending liat monyet deh dari pada liat LIPAN!!!

***

Galeri hari ini:

Agak sedikit over, tapi ini foto terbaik dari 36 foto yang saya ambil. Ini saya foto di mobil bak yang ngangkut sayur, ceritanya saya nebeng dari puncak ke bawah gara-gara males jalan.

I know that that picture is blurry.

As you can see, this creature has the advantage of stealth when it is in a wooded area because of its camoflague. It has no arms, therefore has to make sure his legs are strong; therefore, it trains on a specially crafted treadmill in a tree. If he had arms, he would use a Total Gym, every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris' house.

By the way, Criss Angel is going to be shackled in a building that's going to be imploding tonight. The fun part: It's live.

Also, Monopoly fan-fiction would be awesome.

Okay, it's actually not Centipede, but it sure looks and plays like it!  Earth Defense, from MochiAds, is the first game I've come across that is nearly the same as the Centipede arcade game.  The main difference with Earth Defense is that the shooter is in the middle and the centipedes circle the shooter.  The graphics and sounds mimic the original game, but having the shooter in the center makes the game harder.

I'm not sure this has ever happened to me before, but I scored lower and lower after every play!  My first game ended with 700 points, the second and third games scored 400 and 300.  I don't get it?!

If you're into Centipede, save your arcade quarters for laundry and metered parking -- and try Earth Defense here.  Otherwise, stay tuned and I'll let you know when I find an online version of Mrs. PacMan!

Thomas had some blood work done for his peanut allergy.  He did great.  He always handles doctor visits well.

I was cutting my grass (weeds) this morning when one of my blades stopped working.  Riding my little twin-blade tractor (riding lawnmower) is usually pretty fun.  It wasn't fun this morning when the only working blade left was one that was bent due to a previous battle with a tree root.  When I finished butchering my already non-grassy yard with my one bent blade, I decided to look under the tractor to see why the blade wasn't working (I know, I should have done that when it first happened).  It seems that several bolts have vibrated out of the deck and pulley assembly.  My pulley was just sitting there dangling by the belt.  I guess it's just one more project to fix.

I have been studying all day for the message that I will share on Sunday night at Roswell Street.  It is turning out to be a much more serious subject than I had originally thought.

[warning...this next section is pretty gross...]

We have two types of pests that are showing up around our house these days.  One is all over our driveway.  We have little blue huckleberry things on it.  It is a cruchy walk all the way to our vehicles.  The other pest is a return of some little centipedes that took over our house last year.  We are praying this isn't their comeback.  Our pest control guys have treated for them, but we are a little concerned.  We have had two different types of centipedes or millipedes that have invaded.  See below...

While I was looking online tonight to try to find out more information about them, I found some disturbing pictures.  I showed them to Mina thinking that it would lead her to believe that we could have it much worse....it instead, freaked her out.  I think that she will have trouble sleeping tonight.  Take a look at these...

Apparently, that middle picture is centepede wine.  Who would drink that?

Yesterday at work there was, in fact, a very gross centipede under my desk.

Besides keeping my feet up (either on my tower or cross-legged in my chair) all day, I also used this disturbing reality to inspire today's EI!

But seriously, guys, that thing was disgusting!

So, I thought I'd take this second to promote my good friend Tim's blog, We Are All Very Ashamed of You. Tim has had a self-diagnosed case of writer's block for a while now. His blog is an attempt to escape from the labyrinth of inactivity, and it's a very good read...so...mission accomplished, Mr. Tim?

Now:

I woke. OC was still asleep. I left the room quietly so I wouldn't disturb him.

In the living room I read my email, checked my feed reader, and commented on a few blogs. OC slept. I went into the kitchen and emptied the dishwasher. He slept. I got the waffle iron out, mixed up some batter -- from scratch! -- and set the table. OC slept. I mixed some orange juice. He slept.

I returned to the couch, leaned forward to retrieve my laptop from the coffee table, and looked up to see an intruder come through the lanai door. OC slept.

I stared at the intruder in terror and thought briefly about screaming, but that's too much drama even for me. Instead I lept from the couch, dashed to the kitchen, grabbed the bug spray, and blasted the intruder with at least a half a cup! The intruder writhed on the floor in agony. OC still slept!

I grabbed a piece of old newspaper and bundled the intruder up in it, squeezing until I was certain it was well and truly dead. OC slept.

Having vanquished the intruder, I headed to the bathroom for a well deserved shower. OC slept. However, when I emerged from the bathroom, he was awake and ready to start the day. He was overjoyed to see the waffle iron out. I plugged it in and took the condiments from the fridge. OC sat on the couch and opened his lap top.

I said, "We had an intruder this morning."

OC looked up with great concern. "Who? Wha--"

"A centipede," I said.

OC looked around. "Where?"

I pointed at the can of bug spray. "I murdered it."

"Oh," OC said. His attention returned to his laptop.

"It tried to murder me," I said. "And you slept right through it!"

OC grunted.

"Hey," I said. "It could have killed me. You'd have come out here and found my dead body on the floor and the centipede doing high kicks on my nose."

OC looked up from his computer, raised his eye brows and said, "Right."

"You are the hero," I said. "It's your job to save me. You're not supposed to be asleep when I am in mortal peril."

"Uh-huh," he answered, eyes still on his computer.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" I queried.

"When's breakfast?" He asked hopefully.

* * *

Happy Anniversary, OC. I love you. Aren't you glad to have me?

ISBN 978-983-43795-0-6

Centipede
Dig Dug
Jungle Hunt
Kangaroo
Missle Command
Pac-Man
Pitfall II
Pole Position
Q*Bert
River Raid
Star Raiders
Super Breakout
Super Cobra
Vanguard

Current game count: 14

I love the Wii.

When I was a kid, we had an Atari. I played Pong. That was it. That was the only game I could play. I think, shortly after that, we got an NES and had Pac-Man (I could play that one), Donkey Kong (which bears no resemblance to current Mario games...you climbed slanting floors and jumped over barrels, really, it was EASY), Centipede and Galaga (it was the one where you were a space ship that slid back and forth across the bottom of the screen and shot down invading aliens---huh, maybe it was Space Invaders). You'll notice they all required a joy stick and little else. I think the "shooting" games used a single button. It's possible we had those for the Atari and I just can't remember. My parents never played that I can remember. It was strictly something for me and my sister.

Then I turned into a teenager and lost interest in video games. They'd gotten more complicated, there were more buttons and I was too busy with sports and studies and boys to be bothered (say hello to High School).

Fast forward about fifteen years. Now I'm married and have children. Boy children. They, of course, have gaming systems. To me, these systems looked like Mission Control for NASA, so I never really played games with them. I couldn't. There were too many buttons. I did manage to play Bomberman on the Game Cube because it didn't require more than the little joystick and one of the buttons (I think I could have done more using other buttons but it wasn't a learning curve I was interested in conquering). The kids' both had GameBoys and DSs. They paid for everything themselves, asked for games for birthdays, and because they are active children, I never really said, "Boo" about the video games. There were limits on playing time and acceptable games, but as long as they kept some balance between the games and other activities, I didn't mind the playing. And they were great Rainy Day Entertainers when I needed an hour to myself.

Now, please don't think we don't do things together as a family. That would be untrue. We have regular game nights (board games) and we do lots of stuff together like croquet and tossing around Frisbees and footballs and such. We read together or listen to audiobooks, we cook together, we'll garden and take walks and go to the park...all sorts of unplugged family activities.

But one thing we rarely, if ever, did together was play video games.

Then the people at Nintendo had a flash of brilliance and the Wii was born.

Somewhere along the line, I'm sure someone over there thought, You know, American kids are spoiled, but really, who has the money? Who spends the dough? It's the moms! Let's do something to get them hooked, too! (and if you don't believe me, all you have to do is open a paper and look at an article about spending power and you'll find that the bulk of consumer dollars are spent by women--I could find articles to cite, but I'm too lazy right now.)

And yes, this is where I compare Wii to street drugs, because once you try it, you'll like it. You'll want more. The laughter, the sheer insanity of it all. You'll find yourself wandering into video game stores, a heretofore Forbidden Land of electronics and confusing images. And you'll be thankful it's legal to get your fix.

I can play Wii games. They are active, they don't require a superb amount of instinctive knowledge about what all those buttons do on the WiiMote. WiiBowl requires two buttons--A & B. Totally my speed.

I love that you have to get up and move. Sure, you could WiiBowl or WiiGolf or WiiTennis or WiiBaseball sitting on the couch and flicking your wrist, but WHY? Why would you do that? Get up, get moving, be active. There's more laughter that way.

WiiBoxing allows my kids to fight with each other and there's no bruising. The kids can practice archery and driving. They can race cars, off-road vehicles (Excite Truck was one of the first games we got and even I think it's fun), run track, jump through space and rock out.

The Rock Band adaption for Wii was another flash of brilliance. Really. I've always been a big proponent of music education because music education cuts across EVERY subject. And guess what, kids? Rock Band teaches rhythm, hand-eye coordination, team work (if one player is about to get booed off the stage or has failed, other players can "save" them by really rockin' out). 13's band teacher gave PERCUSSION PRACTICE TIME CREDIT to kids who played 20 minutes of Rock Band as the drummer. In the same way Harry Potter introduced a generation to reading, Rock Band has the potential to interest a whole lot of kids in music education.

Not to mention, it's just screamin' good fun. And the entire practice of creating your Mii (your video game image) is HYSTERICAL (especially when you have three adult sisters who all look alike...making the subtle differences in the Miis was an evening of laughter in itself--though Rock Band doesn't allow Miis). When my mother comes to visit, one of the early questions is: Wanna WiiBowl? Never mind what the kids want to do, the ADULTS will stay up WiiBowling after the kids have gone to bed.

And now, there's WiiFit. A video game whose entire point is to get you moving. HOW COOL IS THAT?

So, let's recap. Wii gets you moving. Wii is easy enough for video-game-phobic mothers to play. Wii gets the family together. Wii can teach you things. (I didn't even touch on the fact that some tricky modern surgeries are done with lasers, moved by doctors using control pads remarkably similar to a video game controller) Wii can change the world. Okay, maybe not that last one, but you never know.

Not bad for something roughly the size of a hardback book.

Melissa asked, ...this could be a good Christmas gift for the kids. So if I have three what do I need to buy?

The basic system comes with the console, ONE WiiMote and NunChuck, and WiiSports. The WiiSports is enough to get you going, but I'd really recommend adding on at least one other game and an additional WiiMote and NunChuck. It's the only way you'll be able to have two people competing against each other in a split-screen situation (the second NunChuck is REQUIRED for boxing against each other). Also, having AT LEAST one extra WiiMote makes it fun when the kids have friends over. You can get up to four players on a single WiiMote, but they can't play simultaneously on a single WiiMote. We have two WiiMotes and are working our way up to the maximum of four. When we go to SoCal we take our WiiMotes so we can hook them up to Sister's system and get all 9 of us playing together.

13 recommends these games for kids: WiiPlay, Big Brain Academy, Mario Kart Wii, Sonic & Mario Olympics. He also says if you get a driving game, to get the Wii Steering Wheel (you don't NEED it, but he says it makes it more fun...the WiiMote rests in the wheel and you "drive" with it...the smaller kids will recognize this as the same type of play they do when running around the house with a paper plate, steering a pretend car). Link's Crossbow Training comes with the WiiZapper. Also, there are super-fun games like Wii Lego Indiana Jones. You can also play Game Cube games, but you'll need GameCube controllers and a memory card...at which point the possibilities are endless for games. And you can pick up used GameCube stuff pretty inexpensively.

I have found the rating system on the games to be fairly accurate for the most part, so let that guide you as well.

i'm a bit averse to lists as they concern trips. they create obligations, which are sort of the opposite of why i'm traveling in the first place. however, i did make a short one for things to do in maui. i am pleased (and amazed) to report that, as of last night, not only is my list is completed to my satisfaction but i also got to do something i wanted to do but couldn't afford!

what had happened, right, was that phylicia got a job working for the discount activities booths that are everywhere on front street in lahaina. i think those discounts have something to do with resorts or time shares because you have to own a house and have a $50k or higher income in order to qualify for their super cheap rates. any-hoo, as an employee, phylicia is not only encouraged but expected to check out all the activities---parasailing, snorkeling, whale watching, luaus---for free. and she gets to take one guest with her each time. well, guess who's available in the evenings. ::huffs on nails, rubs them against shirt::

i gotta say---it was AWESOME! open bar was alright, i guess. and the food was okay (all you can eat buffets are always a waste for me), but i did get to try some new stuff, like kalua turkey (s'alright), lomi lomi salmon (surpringly tasty), and poi (never again). but it wasn't the drinks or the meal that i loved---it was the show! the band put it down, the hostess could sing her ass off, and man, did those dancers put in work!

and BOY, WAS THE FIRE DANCER DOPE!

the cost of the royal lahaina luau is $88 per person. i got to go for a mere $11, which was the total cost of my transportation. how freakin' lucky was i to have met phylicia and imani? not only are they super cool, but i got to go to a luau! thanks, jooky!

The Bad and the Ugly

the luau ended after the buses had stopped running back to kihei, so i went back to the lahaina crib for the night again. i'm sitting there watching the last of the netlix movies with imani and her boyfriend when dude suddenly jumps off the couch and says, "pick up your feet!" now, unlike people in movies, if you tell me to "duck" or "get out of here right now" or "pick up your feet," i don't need an explanation. so imani and i are hugging our knees atop the couch while dude, flip-flop in hand, is peering under the sofa real intensely. he pokes under there a little with the shoe and waits, and i'm praying that he won't give up because i'm certain it's a big ass roach or water bug. so i'm horrified, expecting it to run out at any second---but what i saw instead was something much, much worse. something that rebbie jackson can't have ever seen in real life, and i shouldn't have ever seen in real life. what came zooming out from the other end of the couch was the bullet train of the tropical insect world---silent, fast, and LONG.

as if i needed any further assurance that steamy, tsunami-prone, equatorial, asian language speaking countries are not the place for me, what whirred out from under the sofa was an indonesian centipede. had it been allowed to consume just one more small child, it would have reached a half foot in length. as it was, it measured about five inches and had the girth of a small snake.

as God is my witness, after this creature's beheading, stomping, and eventual demise (which did not come as an immediate result of its beheading and stomping), it took a full two hours before i got up the courage to put my feet back on the floor. and even then it was only to relocate myself to the back bedroom for a rocky couple hours of sleep. i was sorry when a drunken texan woke me at 2:30am insisting that i needed a drink of water. (...buh?) however, after a full hour of chatting with him, i was wide awake and sorry to have him leave me alone there with 1) two and a half hours left before time to get up and 2) a fully revived case of the Indonesian Centipede Heebie-Jeebies.

as a result of this experience comes a new travel tip for you: if you're traveling in hawai'i, do avoid ground floor apartments. i've been told by many that there are scorpions here, too, so don't say you haven't been warned.

Land of snakes, frogs, and centipedes.

In the dream there was a large ocean creature hoping to be acknowledged as the first true centipede rising up from a deep clear green pool of water that was shaped into a curve, more like a circus peanut than a smile, and we came upon it as we climbed the side of a Swiss chocolate mountain crag. It had been raining for days, and the wet chocolate mountainside was so dark and bittersweet that it made everything else seem light and lemony surrounding it. So too this green pool of cool water, whose smell rose up to our noses as a lemon-lime soda, clearing our sinuses and changing our thoughts of failure into the feeling one gets at the top of a roller coaster, 360 degrees of a moment of no up and no down.

We could hear the seal before we could locate her, our vision blurry from the thin vanilla oxygen. We heard her thick clay grey nose breaking the surface of the water softly, firmly. She was there in a smaller pool of milky water that was connected by a shallow channel to the pool with the ocean centipede in it. She steered mightily in the opposite direction but the pull of the channel was very strong. We were too far away to be of any help, so we stood there licking the backs of our hands in delicious prayer for her, humming and licking until the seal was safely somersaulting on the other side of a pile of timberweed. Since the way we had come had already started to slough itself off behind us, our only hope for getting back home was walking closely past the dark ocean centipede creature, treading water there by the side of the pool like it had nothing but time.

Io invece il mitico atari 2600 ce l'avevo. Anzi, ce l'ho tuttora, e funzionante.
Ma anche chi lo ha avuto per poco o ci ha giocato da amici, come può dimenticarlo?

Con il suo rivestimento in legno, le sue enormi 'cassette' dei giochi, il suo joystick con un unico, rotondo bottone rosso e i suoi mitici giochi, ripresi poi dalle altre più moderne e antisettiche consoles: pac-man, miss pac-man, tic-tac-toe, space invaders, tennis, centipede, pole position...

Presentato la prima volta alla fine del 1977, questo capolavoro, a causa dell'esiguo numero di giochi disponibili, non ebbe fortuna. Salvo poi raggiungere un enorme successo mondiale, meritatissimo, quando nel 1979 Atari acquistò i diritti su alcuni giochi da sala, che adattò alla propria console. E' stato il primo di una infinita serie, ma la concorrenza del Commodore 64 ne ha decretato il declino. La produzione, in versioni via via aggiornate, è comunque continuata fino al 1991.

Ah, i pomeriggi dei primi anni '80 passati a giocare in salotto con pac-man...! :P

While writing this, I was listening to "No Reason" by Pepper

Misconceptions, misunderstandings, and flawed facts finally get the heave-ho in this humorous, downright humiliating book of reeducation based on the phenomenal British bestseller. Challenging what most of us assume to be verifiable truths in areas like history, literature, science, nature, and more,

The Book of General Ignorance is a witty ?gotcha? compendium of how little we actually know about anything. It?ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.

Revealing the truth behind all the things we think we know but don?t, this book leaves you dumbfounded about all the misinformation you?ve managed to collect during your life, and sets you up to win big should you ever be a contestant on Jeopardy! or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

Besides righting the record on common (but wrong) myths like Captain Cook discovering Australia or Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone, The Book of General Ignorance also gives us the skinny on silly slipups to trot out at dinner parties (Cinderella wore fur, not glass, slippers and chicken tikka masala was invented in Scotland, not India).

Thomas Edison said that we know less than one millionth of one percent about anything: this book makes us wonder if we know even that much.

You?ll be surprised at how much you don?t know! Check out THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE for more fun entries and complete answers to the following:

How long can a chicken live without its head?
About two years.

What do chameleons do?
They don?t change color to match the background. Never have; never will. Complete myth. Utter fabrication. Total Lie. They change color as a result of different emotional states.

Who invented champagne?
Not the French.

How many legs does a centipede have?
Not a hundred.

How many toes has a two-toed sloth?
It?s either six or eight.

How many penises does a European earwig have?
a)Fourteen
b)None at all
c)Two (one for special occasions)
d)Mind your own business

Which animals are the best-endowed of all?
Barnacles. These unassuming modest beasts have the longest penis relative to their size of any creature. They can be seven times longer than their body.

What is a rhino?s horn made from?
A rhinoceros horn is not, as some people think, made out of hair.

Who was the first American president?
Peyton Randolph.

What were George Washington?s false teeth made from?
Mostly hippopotamus.

What was James Bond?s favorite drink?
Not the vodka martini.

From the Hardcover edition.

Order The Book of General Ignorance from Amazon for $9.99

Don't have Amazon Kindle? You can always purchase it from here
Or if you prefer to read the Print editions instead, you can get it from here

Other Kindle Books of Interest
Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze?: And 114 Other Questions
What Would Socrates Say?: Philosophers tackle questions about love, nothingness, and everything else.
Super Crunchers: Why Thinking-by-Numbers Is the New Way to Be Smart
Does Anything Eat Wasps?
Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing?: 23 Questions from Great Philosophers

1. I personally hate my flow in this one.

2. It was me jacking a beat from producer, Centipede but I explained to him personally and he respected me being decent enough to come to him telling him I jacked it and he said it was a decent song I made into it.

So this track of course couldn't even be a track I could sell and it was just a throwaway really after letting the girl it was dedicated to listen to it.

So I hope you enjoy, it's titled "I Understand (Angel)" Produced By Centipede.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/133609599837e6be/

While this is all very geek-ified, it did bring back memories of my own forays into classic arcade games. My favorites were Asteroids, Rolling Thunder and Centipede, of the latter, I distinctly remember getting about 700,000 points on one of the upright consoles. Not too shabby for a 7-year-old. I had to stand on a stool to reach the controls. I'm 30 now, so it's been a long time since I've played the original game. I have poked around online for java-based games, and of course, there are some, but they aren't as good as the originals. Here's a pretty decent site to try your luck. Of course, the original consoles would be preferred, but in their absence, this'll do.