Cleaning a bit at a time, a step at a time.  Trying to lighten the load.  Sometimes it feels I'm getting a lot done, but most days, a step at a time as the grace is there for it, with lots of coffee and tea breaks in between instead of that feeling of panicky "I'll never get all this done".

I'm almost finished with Boy Wonder's last year of school album.

I'm pretty much finished with Red's 1st grade year.

And I'm starting Goldilocks last year of school.

I still have the rest of the years to go!  But, I'm plodding. Trying to keep each year 6-8 pages per child, per year only in their school albums.

I've gotten a lot of "spot organizing" done lately...not the whole things, but enough problem areas to feel encouraged.

Plodding on...

Trying to remember and relish in the joy of hard work and simplicity and using what I have rather than longing for more.

Gently fighting the inherent loneliness of working at home alone all day -- much to do to keep me busy though.

So how much do you hate it when strangers feel entitled to touch you without asking or being invited?

Don't you wish there was something tactful you could say to them without hurting their feelings?

Well, we suggest you use humor. And that's what this shirt brings you. Let them read the all-too-common museum warning of "Do Not Touch" and let them figure it out for themselves. Plus this comfy soft cotton shirt will ensure you have room to move while you set your boundaries. =)

Four days of Iag has ended. Another season of camp has ended as well. 3 months since i last did camps, this season, somehow i didn't feel the same as june. Although everything in camp was still the same, somehow it just felt as though i could have done so much better. Probably for the first time after doing several camps, i met with a difficult kid. Actually, i don't think difficult is the word. Just a little different from my past camps, where the kids just needed t empower themselves. The greatest satisfation comes from seeing the smiles and pride that parents carry with them on the graduation ceremony. Seeing the kids hand their love letters t their parents, saying i love you t the dearest two people in their life after (who knows how long it has been). It really makes me feel that my efforts haven't gone t waste. Every camp provides me with a lot more experience, increases my knowledge, most importantly, it allows me t be who i am. I remember during the chat with Rosie, i told her that i have very different personalities in camp and in school. The truth is i like who i am in camp, not in school. I feel comfortable working with complete strangers even though its only 4 t 5 days. The weirdest thing is that i can get along with these people so much better than my classmates whom i've been seeing for 4 months.

Due t my sudden gush of emotions during appreciation last night, i didn't manage t appreciate every single person in the coaching team. So this is where i'll do it.

Edric: I remember how we worked together last season and partnered with you t take on TR3 for our R&R and how i actually cried because of TR3's mess and stuff. Seeing you again this season has been really wonderful. Thank you for the jokes that you told and chatting with me on and off. I realized that you're really a nice person t talk t. Definitely gonna look forward t coaching with you again!

Donovan: DONDON!! It really is a wonderful thing t have you around in camp. Though we didn't manage t do any debates in camp, but t have you with us in the coaching team itself is awesome enough. Thank you for always bearing with the cold while i take your jacket. Thank you for the advice that you gave me and guidance along the way and not forgetting the friendship that's building up every season.

Arul: Perhaps for the past few months, things haven't been going too well between us. But i'm sure you can sense that this season it's a different thing all together. I'll never forget my first coach and of course the friendship since way back.

Andrew: You were from my first camp and i remember how you, me, monica and cam would sit around the scaffolding and have our meals there. I wouldn't say i'm very close t you but it's so easy t struck a conversation with you and i know there'll be more t come for many more seasons t come.

Cheryl: I really hope that the day we meet comes soon. I'm really that i did advance because it gave us a chance t get closer. It's always fun t have you in camp, how you always call me Lifennnnnnnnnn. See you in school real soon! (:

Camillus: Like andrew, we all came from the first camp. You were doing your first camp then as well, till now that we're all coaches and able t handle a group on our own, i'm really glad you came t coach this season. Thank you for emcee-ing with me too. It was the first time i ever did something like that, it wasn't easy but i appreciate the fact that you were there with me (:

Bay: I haven't seen you around for quite a while, never really talked t you much but this camp gave me a chance t know more about you and you definitely made camp a lot more fun too. Thank you for the entertainment.

Corrine: I applaud you for coming back t coach even though you were sick. It really isn't easy t hang in there especially when camp is such long hours. I'll definitely see you around in school with Cheryl aye. And it was fun t keep you in suspense with the letters. They're not essays, but I've really never written such long letters for my mortals. Thank you for giving me a chance t do so.

Dharyl: When i first knew you, it was before yuyuan and i got together. I always thought you were this really cool guy, a little fierce. Then i got t work alongside with you during Psle Congress, and now with you in my mega group. Thank you also, for coming back even though you were running really high fever.

Xavier: It's my first time working with coaches that's much much older than me. I never really got a chance t talk t you in camp, but it's interesting t play big fish small fish with you. How you would widen your eyes and ask questions that'd make us laugh. Thank you for being so sporting too!

Rahana: It's not easy t leave your kids and stay away from home for so long especially when they're still at a young age. And also t have t handle food for R&R when you're having your fasting period. Thank you for that(:

Siyu: Thank you always asking me questions when you ain't sure about it. You remind me alot of Anqing. Just your age, and a first time coach too. Definitely gonna see you in future camps t come aye! (:

Joel: Thank you for the energy that you always bring t the group. I haven't always been with the group, but you're always able t stay there with them and i can make sure that i don't need t worry even if i leave you alone with them because i know that you'll be able t handle them well. For a first time coach, i would say that your performance is good. So much enthusiam in you and care for the kids. I also like the way we get things done, spliting up the work.

Jiayu, dearest PD: I really have t say thank you t you for entrusting me with a group and also handling a log alone. Thank you for helping me with my Matthew and giving my confidence t carry on with coaching. It's so much more fun t work under you because PD/APD are usually more stern during the camp, but you were able t get things done while having so much fun with us. I enjoyed the small conversations with you and i also got t know more about you this camp. Looking forward t hanging out with you even more after camp!

Sean and Edwin: Thank you so much for helping out in camp and with my log. ((:

Lastly, to the most important person in camp.
My dearest boyfriend, Tjhai: I have t apologize for the moodswings that i had in camp, even though i know it's really stressful t have t manage camp and also t have t endure so much physical pain, yet i haven't been understanding enough. Even though i know the intentions behind some of your actions, i still choose t get angry over them. It's not easy t work with you in camp because you're the APD, and also my boyfriend. It's not easy t work in camp and not look at you the way i usually do. No matter how i dislike the fact that i can't hold you as and when i want, I would still choose t coach because i can get t see you. SK was a torture for me because it wasn't just not being able t talk t you as and when but rather not t be able t see you at all. At least this time round, i don't have t be afraid that people would know we're together. I'm really sorry i got angry with you so easily, and i realised the reason was because i really loved you. Love never meant so much t me until you came along. Dejun told me that he really liked the way we are, and that he wished that we could be together forever. I told him i wanted it that way too. I love you and the people around you. Baby, thank you for every thing you have done for me. I love you alot alot alot, and that is true.

(:

Everyone loves a good laugh.

It's true.

And what could be more harmless than a funny t-shirt that gets a giggle while raising an eyebrow?

We've noticed that the best shirts combine a clever sense of humor with a neat design while only hinting at something inappropriate and not actually being offensive.

Enter Caution: Choking Hazard, a popular men's shirt. Draw your own conclusions and make your own judgments about it, but there's something about simplicity in a popular phrase that turns into a good happy hour conversation that really makes us smile.

It's hard enough for two parents to round up the kids and do something special for them on the weekends, but there are many single-parent families trying to do the same thing. If you know a single mom (or single dad), why not offer to go with them to a local amusement park. Or if it's getting cold, ask if they're interested in an early fall hay ride or pumpkin patch hunt (it may be early for that).

Whatever the idea, let your friend know that you're going along because you enjoy the company, AND you can't imagine know how much of a pain it can be to try to handle the entire family thing alone, so you're offering to join in on the fun, and help out!

Just cuz.

前幾天才在說沒認識新朋友
這個週末卻天天往外跑
永遠處於脹著肚子的狀態
平時都是餓了才吃
好不習慣

跟好久不見的朋友出去
大家好像都沒變
這兩年又是大洗牌的時候了
東部有的回來
有的去台灣
有的去美國
還有可能從台灣又跑回來的
但真沒想到我還待在這裡

Sometimes friends just drift apart, there is nothing left in common once you have left school or a particular workplace and you just drift out of each others lives. This is the nicest way to move on in my opinion. I can look back at these friendships and be happy for the pleasure they brought at the time, there are no bad feelings to sour the memories.

Sometimes there is a huge row, that is never repaired. I've only lost a couple of friends like this and it still makes me feel a little sad that it ended in this manner.

Still it is better than those forced friendships where you really ought to both let go, but for some reason can't. Then you end up dreading seeing their number on the text message, or their name in the Inbox or even their name showing as online on MSN or Facebook. Things move on but some friends won't let this happen. I have one friend like this, my heart sinks a little when she calls but I always agree to meet up with her. We used to be very close but now the bonds that held us together have drifted. If she lived nearer it might be easier to re-forge that connection but she lives at the other end of the country and that type of friendship takes a lot effort and maintenance. Neither of us seems prepared to put the work in for that so we meet up maybe four times a year, talk about old times and chat about the surface stuff of our lives. I don't tell her any of the stuff that is really on my mind and I suspect she is the same. A totally superficial friendship. But neither of us wants to totally sever the ties.

What about me? Do I hang on too long sometimes?

I emailed an old friend through friendsreunited a while ago. Just a hello - how are you? type of email but I've had no reply. I can't help but wonder if they received it and thought "Oh bugger, not them!" Then quickly smacked the delete button. Part of me laughs at this idea, but the other part is a bit miffed. I can't help it, I just don't want to move on...

It's funny when grown-ups sometimes need short stories and fairy tales more than kids do.

I realized how difficult it could be to let go of the things which not so long ago are just common simplicities of everyday.  I now know that those small things, in those small hours, are actually the things that make up what we call LIFE.

We can't turn back the time and it's useless to keep looking back to the has-beens in our lives.  We just need to accept that those things are in the past now, whether or not we gave a damn, and we need to just let it go...so we can move forward.

And in those little moments lost, we grew, and we learned.  But we can't keep gaining.  Sometimes we also need to LOSE.

Our lives is a long journey. We may feel like giving up sometimes, but the paradox of quitting is that when we stop, we begin to think, and then we realize that we really should get back on the road and finish what we started.

Then we keep moving forward. :)

"Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas, from the movie Meet The Robinsons

our lives are made
in these small hours

these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,

these small hours still remain.

It feels like this last week has been spent unpacking and putting away. I only just managed to sort out all my Tokyo unpacking before I threw some things in a bag and high tailed it to Byron for Best's wedding. I'm home again now and my room (again) looks like my wardrobe has exploded and has scattered clothes, shoes and random bits over every bit of my room. I hate feeling so disorganised!

Everything feels like such a long time ago, particularly Tokyo, but it's less than a week since I was there. I still feel entirely heartbroken not to be there anymore and spend every moment of every day hoping with every fiber of my being that a school will employ me so I can go back. I feel very displaced being back in Australia, I just feel like I don't belong here anymore. My heart is in Tokyo and I would be in a plane without a moments hesitation if I landed a job there. I actually woke up this morning feeling dazed and confused (the story of my life lately) and I thought "Wow, what a great day, I think I'll head to Harajuku to wander and go to the park seeing as it's not so hot today" and then I remembered where I was. It sucked to realise that.

Anyways, for the sake of being, in some small way, concise I'll regale you with tales of the wedding and save the Tokyo talk for tomorrow when I'll sort out the winners of the photo competition and all of that. For those who might have missed it, this past weekend I was Maid of Honor for my Bestie at her wedding in Byron Bay.

So I got home from Japan last Wednesday morning. I'd spent the day before teaching a lesson for one of my prospective employers, lunching with Deanne then strolling through the park and visiting Meiji Jingu, having the most spectacular cakes in the world with her before we parted ways and I headed back to the hotel to collect my luggage and jump on the bus to the airport. It was unimaginably humid that day and, for the first time in my entire life, I felt beads of sweat dripping down my back. It's hard to be all peaceful and reflective at a Shinto Shrine when you are sweating from places you didn't know could even produce sweat. Pause for a moment to consider how I was feeling when I boarded my flight at 9:30 that night having been separated from a shower or change of clothes for over 12 hours at that stage. I felt like, looked like and smelt like a total armpit. Thankfully I selected a seat on the upper deck of the flight and as it was so quiet I was able to get an entire row of seats to myself. I am eternally grateful that I did not have to inflict my grossness on anyone else. However, the point of all this was to set the scene for how I felt at 7am on Wednesday morning when combined with my armpit-ness and not having slept more than 30 mins during a 9 hour flight, I saw the signs saying that "Border Security" would be filming at the airport that morning. I feel I have an insight into how all the people who go batshit crazy on the show feel, they probably had 12 hour old back sweat on their clothes and just want to get the FUCK away from the airport and everyone else and simultaneously have a shower and fall asleep because it's impossible to prioritise one over the other.

So anyways, after a couple of hours of Nanna napping, a number of loads of washing and a lovely, lovely shower I was ready for Best's Hen's Night. It was an incredibly tame and tasteful affair, we had tapas and cocktails at a bar in the Valley. I drove because I thought it was maybe best that I did not have the option of drinking and everyone was home and tucked in bed by 11:30pm. The next morning I spent running around like a mad woman trying to find an appropriate wedding handbag having totally overlooked the need for one (found one, loves it!!), buying clothes and trying on shoes (just because they'd all fit me, being that I'm back in the land of giants). That afternoon a lady came to do my spray tan (best one ever!) and my nails so I was all tarted up for the wedding. Friday morning I grabbed some cupcakes and packed all my shit in the car and drove to Byron. I had to make a pit stop at Maccas for a coke so I would not crash and die on the way down because I was fading fast. I arrived, collected Best from her massage and went to the resort where the wedding was being held. I met with the various family members who'd started to filter in and then we had a mini rehearsal before going for drinks on the veranda. I had never been so ready for a drink, the nervous energy was tangible and was making me antsy. At this stage the weather had been questionable so Best was getting ....rabid intolerable slightly concerned that we might not get the outdoor wedding she'd planned for, but everyone was doing their very best to try and convince her otherwise, regardless of whether they actually believed it. After drinks almost everyone wedding related went into Byron for dinner, I think we must have had about 30 people and we fronted up at the Beach Hotel without a reservation but we worked it out eventually. After dinner Best and I went back to the suite and spent the night together, I feel quite special to have kept her company during her last night as a single girl!!

Saturday morning we awoke to a magnificent blue sky with barely a cloud to be seen, Best was thrilled and I was glad to have one less thing for her to go mental about. We went down to the restaurant for breakfast, not before Best headbutted the corner of the TV cabinet and bashed her forehead!) and then back up to the suite for hair and makeup. The hair and makeup ladies arrived at 9am and the next five hours were spent fluffing around, girls pouring in and out to get all prettied up for the afternoon, and a bit of hooping (because there is always time for hooping). Everything from then on is kind of a blur. We got properly dressed, the photographer arrived (who was simply brilliant and I love her to pieces), we took official "hooping in our pretty dresses and heels" pictures, we got all sorted and then driven down to the ceremony in a golf cart (best. fun. ever). Before I knew it we were standing in front of all Best and BP's nearest and dearest doing the marriage thing, I was fishing around in my dress for Best's hankie (in front of everyone) because she was crying while trying to keep my shit together so I wouldn't look ugly in the pictures. Rings were exchanged, certificates were signed and the deed was done. Bestie was now Mrs. BP. I spent some time running around with my shoes off throwing rose petals at the Page Boy (and vice versa) before we headed off for nibblies and Mojitos.

Before too long (not before begging for bread because myself and the other two bridesmaids were starving and the nibblies were too messy to eat in our dresses) we were loaded into a Tarago and driven all over the place for all the wedding photos shot on location. Best. BP and the photog got to go in the red wedding Kombi, so cute!! By the time we got around to doing this (from about 5pm) the wind had picked up and it was getting fucking cold. Obviously the groomsmen were happy in their suits, but those of us wearing the most uncomfortable heels in the universe and little party dresses were just a little ill-equipped to deal with the conditions. After standing in front of a scenic lookout for some pictures we went to the lighthouse for some more photos. I almost stacked it down the stairs when my heel got caught in a crack the pavement and I fear Best and BP might have a photo of us walking down the stairs and me mouthing "SHIT!" as I death grip the railing to prevent myself falling in a heap. By this stage the other girls and I were starting to ache from being so cold and pain from the shoes but not content with the 185 796 pictures that had already been taken, we then went to Watego's Beach for more pictures. At this stage the groomsmen had handed over their jackets to us which made an infintate difference in our mental wellbeing because we only had to work through the pain of the shoes instead of being pained by the shoes and worrying about keeping our core tempreature high enough so we could continue living. We also had picolos of Moet and combined with being incredibly hungry, pretty tired and weak from using all over energy trying to conserve body head it was nice to be half buzzed and made the shoes bareable for another little while. Having only taken 287 499 wedding pictures so far, Best and BP wanted to go to the graffti wall to take some more pictures. Because the bridal party were not required for these shots we sat around in the Tarago bitching about how we could be drinking cocktails with everyone else instead of sitting in a car being gawked at by others. (Side note, if you ever want to be stared at get yourself a party dress and a pair of killer heels and run around the Byron lighthouse followed by a wedding photographer. I've never had so many people looking at me but as far as I could hear, everyone was very complimentary about how we were looking which was good. I was quite convinced the cold and the pain from my shoes had caused my "fuck off and die" face to come out and I would be the one looking demonic in all the wedding pictures, but it seems this was not the case. Lucky!)

After two hours of mincing around in demon shoes and party dresses in the cold, we were finally returned to the resort where we got to sit the fuck down for what felt like the first time that day. We got to eat (yummy mushroom risotto with truffle oil for me, followed by some big stack of grilled veggies on polenta for main) and drink (champagne!). The inevitable was fast approaching, speech time. Best's dad spoke, BP's dad spoke (and cried), The Best Man spoke, I spoke, BP spoke (and cried) and then Bestie spoke. I was the only person who spoke without reading from anything but it's just the way I work, I've known Best for like 12 years now, if I can't talk about how much I love her and how happy I am for her after so many years then when can I? When I got back to the table the was all misty eyed and huggy and kissy so I guess my speech worked, I almost remembered to toast them "May all your dreams explode into magnificent relaities" which makes me very pleased because I simply adore that sentiment. After we all starting mingling Best's dad ran up and gave me an enormous hug so clearly Best wasn't the only one who liked the speech. It still makes me all warm and fuzzy.

One of the groomsmen (BP's Brother) was an asbolute gem and did a Happy High Herbs run for us earlier than day. He got Buzz and Cherry Pop and after dessert I downed my half bottle of Cherry Pop. I think my brain candy cancels out any possible effect because I felt nothing at all and after a little while I just got so incredibly tired I could barely stand up. The wedding band had provided some...herbal entertainment, let's say, which the groomsmen also took advantage of (well, when in Rome...). I brough my hoops down to the reception and hooped some more in my party dress, I taught the Page Boy to hoop and played with the hoops with him for an hour or so before we went back up with the rest of the group and he got taken home to bed (he's only 6).

Best and BP left about midnight and we all made a tunnel for them to walk out from to their limo which took them to another hotel for their wedding night. I'd love to tell you that we stayed on and partied like rockstars until the sun came up but I was more tired than I could possibly explain so the other bridesmaid and her partner that I was staying with almost followed Best and BP out and went to our room and crashed. It was such a massive day whih piggybacked a massive week for me, so I was just done.

Sunday morning we scraped ourselves out of bed and went down for breakfast. I pulled up pretty well but it was funny to see the other people who were a little worse for wear. In a stroke of excellent luck the markets were on at Byron so after packing up all our junk and checking out I went to the markets with Best and BP, we we did what we do best - eat and shop. Best and I had the corn fritters that are my favourite thing on earth! Then we backed it up with some great Mexican food and Best talked about waffles but I was done at that point. At the markets I bought a beautiful silk dress and a reversible jacket which is my new favourite thing (the items are a S and an XL, gotta love the consistency of garments made in India!), I also bought a big bag of the most beautiful strawberries ever and some garlic macadamia nuts (nomnomnom).

At about 2pm, we parted ways and I came back to Brisbane. I had to again do a Maccas pit stop for a very large coke because I was extremley close to nodding off. I normally don't drink softdrinks but I think the coke is the reason I made it back to Brisbane, so I'll forgive the horrible chemical, poisionous liquid just this once. I had a Nanna nap shortly after I got home and woke up at 6:30pm, again having no idea where I was or what day it was. I slept for 11 hours last night and I could still go back for a Nanna nap right now, I was going to go back to work tomorrow but I think I need at least another day of big sleeping to try and catch up on some resting time.

Extremley long story short, the wedding was magnificent. Best looked absolutely breathtaking and BP scrubbed up very nicely. I couldn't be happier for both of them and I am eternally glad that Bestie chose BP to have and to hold forever because I couldn't think of anyone else I'd trust with with the job of ensuring her lifelong happiness. It was my absolute honor to be Maid of Honor and I'm so greatful to have shared this special time with them both.

I have a few pictures but there was at least several thousand pictures taken of me so I'll pop a few up as they filter through to me, be patient! Congratulations if you made it this far!! Keep in mind, this was only a recap of the last three days, imagne how long the Japan post will be!!

Winners announced tomorrow, final guesses for the photo competition should be in real soon. I got some top shelf shit for the prizes, don't miss your chance!

I'm not alone in thinking this way. Remember the conclusion of Erich Auerbach's chapter on Woolf in Mimesis? Now, the chapter focuses on To the Lighthouse not Dalloway, and the former isn't a one day novel but a two-day-plus-a-longer-weirder-stretch-in-the-middle novel, but I think the point that he makes here is appropriate:

Beneath the conflicts, an economic and cultural leveling process is taking place. It is still a long way to a common life of mankind on earth, but the goal begins to be visible. And it is most concretely visible now in the unprejudiced, precise, interior and exterior representation of the random moment in the lives of different people. So the complicated process of dissolution which led to fragmentation of the exterior action, to reflection of consciousness, and to stratification of time seems to be tending toward a very simple solution. Perhaps it will be too simple to please those who, despite all its dangers and catastrophes, admire and love our epoch for the sake of its abundance of life and the incomparable historical vantage point which it affords. But they are few in number, and probably they will not live to see much more than the first forewarnings of the approaching unification and simplification.

There's a lot to unpack here, of course, but I think you see why the quote interests me here. The "representation of the random moment in the lives of different people" seems to augur a coming "leveling," the emergence of some sort of "common life of mankind on earth." The equation seems to run, at least here, for Auerbach, that the focus on ordinary, random time (like the mostly random time of Joyce and Woolf's novels) suggests a turn to a politics of ordinary commonality.

Again, this is how I usually see these things, talk and write about them, and teach them. And I teach them all the time...

But, on the other hand, I've been listening to a lot of Radiohead (hahaha) recently and tons of Lou Reed (forever). And of late, two songs - one from each - have crystallized into a little mutually reinforcing dyad in my mind. They somehow came together on a playlist that I made, and everyone knows that random playlist juxtapositioning represents one of the key dark arts of advanced literary criticism and analysis. So... Here are the songs.

I realize that these two songs focus not so much on an "ordinary day" but a "perfect day." Reed's seems pretty pointedly ordinary though, but, no, we have no idea what constitutes the day that TY references. (Given the songs that precede it on In Rainbows, it's hard not to come up with better-than-usual adulterous sex, but really, who knows... I guess the more likely and much tamer reading is that somebody's about to kick the bucket... But I like mine better...)

Anyway, why so melancholy, Lou and Thom? Why has thinking about time in terms of the "single day" become so menacingly depressive or depressively menacing? Or was it always this way, right from the start?

Look, I know that this is, well, quite a literary historical leap that I'm trying to make, tracing a dynamic from a point marked Woolf and Joyce in the 1920s to Relatively Recent Music for Perpetually-Adolescent Depressives. I'm playing fast and loose, but I still think there's something here. I could get all Benjaminian on you and take you down the Erlebnis / Erfahrung path. You know, the one that goes like this in the Baudelaire essay that's in Illuminations:

The greater the shock factor in particular impressions, the more vigilant consciousness has to be in screening stimuli; the more efficiently it does so, the less these impressions enter long experience [Erfahrung] and the more they correspond to the concept of isolated experience [Erlebnis]. Perhaps the special achievement of shock defense is the way it assigns an incident a precise point in time in consciousness, at the cost of the integrity of the incident’s contents. This would be a peak achievement of the intellect; it would turn the incident into an isolated experience.

This stuff, by the way, goes perfectly with one of the general thematic concerns of Radiohead's In Rainbows, which this very interesting post labels "data melancholy." (Short version: the pathos in "Videotape" is as much a matter of storing the experience on a degradable and obsolete medium like a VHS tape as it is about, you know, leaving this perfect day behind. The act of preserving the single day (whether in a song or on tape or in a song about tape) reechoes the data loss that occurs due to the shock defense and its characteristic temporality in the first place.)

All that's there, but I think there's something else - something that definitely runs in parallel with this issue - that's at once easier and harder to get at.What the songs underscore, both in their own way, is that the very act of framing time in terms of the single "perfect" day is itself a stress reaction, one that exposes not so much perfection of the day in question as the disastrous or even dystopian nature of the other days that surround it. While Benjamin is getting at the stress or shock on the level of perception or epistemology; Reed and Radiohead broaden the scope out to history, personal (explicitly) and extrapersonal (implicitly). How else to explain the apocalyptic overtone that sneaks back into both songs: the biblical sowing and reaping in Reed and portentous vagueness of "No matter what happens now" in "Videotape." (Again, if you listen to the rest of the stuff on In Rainbows and the supplementary materials the band released with it, like for instance this, which itself is a song preoccupied with the relationship between time and disaster, you get a few ideas about just what might be happening now in the context of the song...)

The literary historical conclusion that we can get to out of all of this is a little pedestrian, but still worth saying. If the modernist single day texts are vaguely utopian in terms of their very temporality, these utopian temporalities themselves bear the marks of being stress reactions to a string of epistemological, existential, and historical crises that provoked them. This seems a bit obvious, and it is, but not to everyone. (I once got in a fight with a dickheaded senior prof in my old department about a question that I asked in a PhD exam about the role that the first world war plays in Ulysses. He argued that it, of course, plays no role because the work is set in 1904, and thus my question was unfair and illegitimate. I was on my way out of the department, so it was really tempting to explain to him what a fucking idiot he was, but I generally save my anger for my blog, so I didn't...) With Woolf, it is relatively easy to see how the ordinariness of Clarissa's single day concretizes itself against the impinging historico-political exterior, trying unsuccessfully to hold it away as it threatens her party etc. With Joyce, this is a bit tougher to see, but it starts to shed light on the relationship between the temporal cut of the book and Franco Moretti's brilliant reading in Signs Taken For Wonders that Ulysses is a strange sort of science fiction dystopia, strange in the sense that it is a science fiction dystopia set twenty years since...

But there remains an even more interesting point that that. (I hope). The songs bring to the fore a more profound melancholy, a haunting disturbance of the everyday. There is something wrong with our everyday, with our every day. We second-guess, we cannot help but second-guess, ourselves as we attempt to shave small spaces out of this world where we can be happy, or where we can even simply be. There are many reasons why we second-guess ourselves when we do this. Many of them are political or economic. Maybe some of them aren't. (Is that even possible?) What sort of single day novel would you write if you were to write one today? If I did one, it would be tremulous, afraid of its own shadow and the shadow of its chosen/assigned form. It would be empty - too empty even to register Septimus, to stage an event like the one that happens in Cyclops. I would feel like a hypocrite were I to attempt to allow the outside in. I wish I could put it more concretely than this. There's been an erosion of the clifftop we call time. All of it has something to do with the necessary movement past Benjamin's formulation - we now long for the shock factor, even. We'd take Erlebnis. Our Auerbachian "random moment in the lives of different people" has become laughable, commodified, the stuff of ad campaigns, the stuff of the media forms of civic reinforcement. It's tricky to name, this thing. The everyday has become something that we reach for when we're at our worse, when the clammy hands of bureaucracy have finally touched our hearts and we try to be gentle, try to fit in.

Christ, I'm not going to (be able to?) name it in a blogpost, am I?

Two large glasses of cheap wine later, the game was pretty even and I was sittin' pretty.  Unfortunately, Nathan landed on Free Parking at least twice and was sitting a tad bit better than I  as far as property was concerned, but there was still a lot of property to be purchased from the bank. I do find myself praying that I would win or land on Free Parking.  Cause God cares about the little things ;) . Thankfully, my brothers did let me watch them play Monopoly so I knew that Boardwalk and Park Place are two great ones to have.  I had the monopoly and would soon find that they would be my only saving grace.

Saturday:  Nathan lands on free parking again and buys lots of houses for his green properties, which I tend to land on the most--after Chance or Community Chest.  I do have houses at this point, but no money and I owed him $1100 in rent.  I had to mortgage all but my monopoly, sell two houses,  and then let him spot me 100 bucks until I passed GO.  At this point, I did whine and give him puppy dog eyes. "I've never played before..." I whined.  I tried to cry, but I really just wanted to kick his butt fair and square. I did not cry and on the last turn of the evening I landed on Free Parking!  At this point in the game, If Nathan lands on my property, he will be in a bind.  It feels good.  I hope I win.  We're playing round three tonight after he and the kids get back from the basketball game (Nathan is playing).

So, since they are gone I get free time!  I think I might sew.  I started cutting out a dress a couple of weeks ago.  I might do that or finish the sock animals (horse for Noah, monkey for Moriah) for the kids.  They would not be happy if they knew I sewed and it wasn't their animals...

Anyway.  I'll let you know how the game goes tonight.  This is like my third real Monopoly game in my whole life.  Nathan is competitive, but we both agree that I am more so.

One of the most important and oftentimes overlooked items to have handy is a great eye primer. I forgot about how essential this is until I re-discovered Benefit's LemonAid in my drawer (don't you hate it when you have so much stuff you forget that it exists?!).

The re-discovery reminded me of a product by Clinique called Touch Base for eyes that I used to swear by in college, when my roomate was working for them part-time at Macy's and we lived off the gratis.

A few weeks ago on a trek through Sephora I picked one up and alas have already run out.

It comes in several shades (my favorite is 'canvas') and what I love most about it is the texture. It blends smoothly and provides adequate coverage without appearing cake-like or creamy. Check it out and let me know what you think!

昨天从九点跑到晚上九点。上午去了罗马日耳曼博物馆和圣乌苏拉（St. Ursula）教堂。博物馆不大，可是票价挺贵（6EUR）。看的大约是罗马时代和法兰克时代的人的吃穿用度，不是特别好看，不过GG喜欢。期间被GG要求记住日耳曼人包括法兰克人，盎格鲁萨克森人，萨克森人，伦巴度人，东西哥特人，汪德尔人。圣乌苏拉教堂据GG讲是纪念英国公主乌苏拉和11000位殉道的处女的地方。GG讲的故事很恐怖，11000位少女都被砍了头。11000这个数字肯定不实，大概最初只有11位少女这么多吧。

http://picasaweb.google.com/fingerling54/0809Koeln#

下午去亚洲店扛米，GG很牛逼地扛了一袋二十公斤的。回来之后又去Real买了米桶，碗架，菜肉水果什么的。Real的亚洲梨和洋人梨居然是一个价，都是1.89/公斤，很开心地一次买了8个。

周日本来打算请小燕姐他们吃饭，结果他们没空，临时换成马提雅斯吃中饭，他们也不能来，刘姐电话打不通，我们只好自己吃。中午晚上两顿，我们两个吃掉半只鸡和一斤半牛肉！口水鸡很不是口水鸡的样子，因为既没有花生，芝麻，也没有辣椒面，只有用干辣椒和卤料现碾的佐料泼泼，很香，但是不够咸。GG装了楼梯间和走廊里的灯，我装了厨房的纱窗，大扫除，一天很快就过去啦。我们家到今天为止完成90％以上，全部完工指日可待。

GG今天说结婚后我们俩都变得好脑残，说话常常带叠字，什么我的眼镜镜啊，喝水水啊。:P，脑残就脑残吧。

Apparently Bear was headed home down an alley, when he admired the dog of a passer by who evidently didn't want him anymore.

This poor soul has evidently been through the mill & it looks like he's been in a few dog fights too. He has a good amount of wounds all over him. It breaks my heart. The poor fellow has an actual hole in his ear. He's been so mistreated it makes me feel ashamed to be human. What these people have done to him is abhorrent, I'm disgusted.

On that note, I'll tell you it's an America Pit bull (Terrier maybe?). I don't know about over there but Pit Bulls have a pretty bad rap in the UK. A lot of it is sensationalism but it doesn't stop me from being nervous. I have known the breed & haven't had any bad encounters but needless to say I'm a little concerned. He seems very kind natured & obedient from what we've seen so far, but it's just not the as knowing your dog & bringing him up from a puppy is it.

But either way, Bear wasn't about to let this guy hand him over to the pound. He's at least going to get a chance at having a loving home - it's probably not going to be permanent with us but like I said there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell of him being abandoned again. Just to get him out of that bastards possession is enough for me.

Funny thing is, he's massive but he's scared of Rocky. I would be too mind you but there you go. Little does he know of the evil that lurks under the bed. She who growls so loud I can hear her through Bears microphone ten feet away.

I'm so glad I'm not there, otherwise we'd be keeping him for sure. He just needs some TLC, a whole lot of feedin' & a trip to the Vets asap!!

I wish I could post some photo's but unfortunately, I'm not there, as you know - & I have the camera (& Bear's web-cam sucks).

However, I'll be sure to keep you updated!

Something...

Morgen dann trage ich meine schicke Bewerbung zu einem Postdienst, der etwas preiswerter als die Post versendet und besuche danach mein Eventuell-Ehrenamt. Auch hier wäre es schön, würde es klappen. Ich bin schon ein bisschen aufgeregt, positive Rückmeldungen bekomme ich eher selten.

Nachricht des Tages ist für mich übrigens, dass Borstel Kurt Beck nicht mehr Parteivorsitzender bei der SPD ist. Selten habe ich einen derart unsympathischen Politer erlebt.

Und jetzt Polizeiruf.
Euch einen flauschigen Abend und wuppt gut in die neue Woche :)

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Nachtrag: Mööönsch, jetzt brennpunkten die bei der ARD schon wieder :roll: Ich will jetzt meinen Film endlich sehen.... nörgel