There was a dream... You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.
-- Gladiator (2000)

Rhett Butler: Do you know what I'm talking about?
Scarlett: No! I only know that I love you.
Rhett Butler: That's your misfortune.
Scarlett: Oh, Rhett! Rhett! Rhett, Rhett! Rhett... if you go, where shall I go, what shall I do?
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
-- Gone With The Wind (1939)

Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance... you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope.
-- The Lion King (1994)

Squirt: Remember... rip it, roll it, and punch it.
Marlin: Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying.
-- Finding Nemo (2003)

The man of my dreams has almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of, in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him if he were really here? "Forgive me. I have never known this feeling. I have lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder, then, I failed to recognize you? You, who brought it to me for the first time. Is there any way that I can tell you how my life has changed? Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say..."
-- Somewhere in Time (1980)

Simon Wilder: Women. Ain't they perfect?
Monty: Not always.
Simon Wilder: Yes, they are, they're perfect. Don't matter if they're skinny, fat, blonde or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love, Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect.

Simon Wilder: Yes I'm a bum. But I'm a Harvard bum.
-- With Honors (1994)

Well when I think of home, I... I think of something specific. I think of my, my hammock in the backyard or my wife pruning the rosebushes in a pair of my old work gloves.
-- Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.

The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.
-- You've Got Mail (1998)

Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I'm loving you more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Come back to me and forgive everything. Seasons may change winter to spring. I love you until the end of time.
-- Moulin Rouge (2001)

They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us. And we wept, Precious, didn't we? We wept to be so alone. And we only lust to catch fish so juicy sweet. And we forgot the taste of bread... the sound of trees... the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name, My Precious.
-- LOTR: The Return of the King (2003)

That night, Dadinho killed his dream of kill.

Li'l Ze: Dadinho my dick, my name now is Zé Pequeno, FUCK!
-- City of God (2002)

Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. And sometimes it feels really close. But then other times it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life. And it's not just a fear of commitment or that I'm incapable of caring or loving because... I can. It's just that, if I'm totally honest with myself I think I'd rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I'd just been in a nice, caring relationship.
-- Before Sunrise (1995)

Maybe what I'm saying is, is the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. Right? Like, I mean, me for example. Am I getting worse? Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier, but I was, uh, whacked with insecurity, you know? Now I'm older and my problems are deeper, but I'm more equipped to handle them.

Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.
-- Before Sunset (2004)

some fave lines from songs and movies...

Can i keep you?
-- Casper (1995)

There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say. You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain... To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny. Won't you tell me is that healthy...?
-- Kiss from A Rose - Seal (1995)

How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out 'til you're torn apart... How can you connect in an age where strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray? What binds the fabric together when the raging, shifting winds of change keep ripping away?
-- Rent (2005)

What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles, and me?
-- Love Story (1970)

I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.
-- Empire Records (1995)

In a moment we lost our minds here and lay our spirit down. Today we lived a thousand years, all we have is now.
-- Run to the Water - Live (1999/2000)

There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ pre-requisite, but there's no secret handshake.
-- Reality Bites (1994)

that's all for now. remind me of the rest. hmmm... nothing in filipino? wait 'til next time. *winks*

"The miracle is not to fly in the air,
or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth."
--Chinese Proverb

after days and days of waiting, i finally saw march of the penguins, the 2006 oscar best documentary. thanks to a very good friend!

originally released as la marche de l'empereur (wow, french!), march of the penguins tells the life and love story of emperor penguins in the merciless environment of antarctica. the documentary outlines a seemingly hopeless journey those oh-so-cuddly-looking creatures (the penguins) down there (antarctica) have to take in order to propagate their species.

even without morgan freeman's narration, it's easy to appreciate the film and its story of life, love and survival. every year since only-God-knows-when, during the onset of winter in antarctica, thousands of penguins leave their very source of food and the comforts of the sea to make a journey on inhospitable ice that will test them to their deaths.

you should watch this film, if you haven't yet. i highly recommend this documentary. it's beautiful. considering the harsh antarctic conditions, the story is wonderful and it's very beautifully done. the penguin love scene is the best love scene i've ever seen!

now, now, how much does a trip to antarctica cost? i wanna see those emperor penguins up close. not only do they look cute and cuddly, they're very fascinating survivors.

p.s. march of the penguins will be shown in local theatres soon as penguin, penguin, paano ka ginawa?

Debo aclarar que el cine como "estética visual" no me atrae mayormente y no soy asiduo a las salas de cine en ningún caso, menos con los bodrios de películas que las distribuidoras insisten en traer y las que las productoras chilenas con fondos de Fondart producen. Si (if) a una propuesta de estética visual se le agrega verdadero contenido, es otra cosa.

En Chile está mal el cine, entendiendo como “nuestro gran cine” el que los distribuidores de las compañías yanquis nos venden. Ellos nos presentan en un 90% cine desechable. Concuerdo que es desechable siempre y cuando la película no contemple segundas y/o terceras partes, en ese caso se reutiliza el nombre y por tanto la película no sería 100% desechable.

Si entiendo que no se puede tener todo el tiempo Cine-Arte (como simpáticamente se le denomina al cine con contenido), pero tener mayoritariamente lo contrario no es aconsejable. Sean simpáticos conmigo y acéptenme que el cine de hoy es como la comida del McDonalds, rápida, bien condimentada pero 100% “desechable”.

Siguiendo. Groundhog Day es el título de esta película que volví a ver. En español lleva los títulos "Atrapado en el Tiempo", "El día de la marmota" o "Hechizo del tiempo", ustedes saben, la distribuidoras siempre "aportan corrigiendo” los títulos directamente en las latas de los carretes.

Bill Murray creo que es un actor de los buenos que existen en yanquilandia. Si no fuera por mis prejuicios y que aparezca en "Cazafantasmas", una película con "secuela", no tendría ningún reparo con él. Pero debo decir que finalmente me gustan sobradamente sus actuaciones.

Goundhog Day trata básicamente de la "mágica y fantástica" situación que vive Phil (Bill Murray) a quien le toca despertar repetidamente y por mucho tiempo el mismo día, el día de la marmota. Del asombro a la desesperación, a la angustia, al hastío, a las ganas de suicidio pasa finalmente al "aprovechamiento eficaz y para loables fines" de este tiempo que se le regala, progresando y poniéndose al día con todo lo que debió aprender antes y hasta este día por falta de "tiempo" había postergado o simplemente desdeñado.

Lo interesante para mí de esta historia es constatar en la película algo que yo creo nos pasa a todos, pero sin la suerte que tiene Phil. Todos y cada uno de nosotros no pasa a la siguiente ansiada etapa en nuestras vidas mientras no resolvamos positivamente las etapas previas. Se lo que sea que debamos resolver y aun cuando nos parezca que pudimos rodear o evadir la etapa anterior, tarde o temprano constatamos que seguimos parados exactamente en el mismo punto, en la etapa anterior, en el día anterior, como en la película. Todos los días que vinieron después del día de la marmota, Phil, recurrentemente se despertó a las 6 a.m. con la misma canción de su radio reloj en el mismo día de la marmota y para desesperación del él, todo se repetía exactamente igual en tanto él no alterara los acontecimientos con su actuar y que se le hacían archi-conocidos y muy desesperantes. El resto de las personas (personajes) no percibían la repetición del día que le ocurría a Phil. Estaba solo sin poder explicar a nadie su situación.

En algún momento Phil decidió, no se explicita en la película, tomar para bien este tiempo que se le regalaba sin él entender porqué, y optó por progresar, es decir, aprender lo que no aprendió antes, y realizar los gestos (no exactamente de los que hablan aquí en nuestro país) que nunca tuvo para con los demás. Esta es la parte con un touch melancólico en la que se realiza la redención del protagonista y surge un buen ser humano desde dentro de otro egoísta y ensimismado con su propio éxito (típico yanquilandia). Lo bueno es que estas escenas pasan sin los “toques de clarín” como para que las reconozcamos y nos "sensibilicemos". Al menos yo no me di cuenta y pude seguir viendo la película hasta el final.

Yo creo que lo mejor de esta película es: primero constatar una situación que inevitablemente vivimos absolutamente todos (lo digo yo, ningún filósofo importante al menos) y segundo que lo que les ocurre a los personajes y lo que ellos piensan les pertenece a ellos y no lo convierten en diálogos a la cámara con la exclusiva finalidad de que empaticemos con ellos (con uno u otro en particular), acto con el que inevitablemente para mi una película se transforma en un bodrio (me acordé de los realities del canal del angelito, Canal13).

En resumen. Se dice en Groundhog Day que mientras no superemos los errores en los que estamos sumidos no avanzaremos a la siguiente etapa, la que puede ser peor, igual o mejor desde el punto de vista de esfuerzo o trabajo que nos demande. Pero que sin lugar a dudas es un paso adelante.

Así como ocurre con los individuos, con cada ser humano, con las personas, ocurre con familias, comunas, pueblos, ciudades, regiones y países.

Me gustaría ver a Chile alguna vez dar ese paso adelante y que no siga despertando en el día de la marmota con un despertador que está averiado. Ya son pocos los que desean levantarse por la mañana ¿para qué? si hoy será igual al día de ayer y al de antes de ayer y al de antes de antes de ayer...

________________________________________________________

Una característica de Groundhog Day que se me olvidaba, por lo menos yo la intuyo, es que fue una película de muy bajo costo, con lo que me reafirma la característica de las cosas buenas de la vida: la mayoría no son muy caras, lo caro viene agregado en su precio por lo que desea ganar quien te las vende.

Lo más simpático de todo esto es que Groundhog Day y Punxsutawney existen, creo.

if that seems too familiar, then perhaps you are a fan of the movie...

title: contact
year of release: 1997
director: robert zemeckis
story by: carl sagan and ann druyan
main cast: jodie foster, matthew mcconaughey, james woods, tom skerritt, and angela bassett

contact is one of those beautifully done films that i was not able to watch on the big screen -- something tells me that the experience would have been better (but it's too late for regrets. anyway, i don't have to fret -- i own an original copy of the movie and i have the book as well).

the opening sequence of the movie is the story of the movie itself. it takes one on a journey that starts within, here on earth, tunneling to somewhere, lending a breathtaking, incomprehensible sense of vastness which leads back to the heart of reality that paves way for inspirations and a sense of significance on top of thought-provoking insights.

"you are capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. you feel so lost, so cut off, so alone... only you're not. see, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other."
-- from the movie, contact

more than a year ago, i picked up a copy of contact (the movie) from the shelf and did not let go of it until i paid for it. i "officially" made it mine for these three big reasons: jodie foster, carl sagan, and extra-terrestrial intelligence -- not necessarily in that order.

"if it's just us, it seems like an awful waste of space."

throw in jodie's brand of acting, sagan's genius, zemeckis' talents, and add a good blend of special effects and background sound... then, proceed to tell an interesting story of how the world reacts to a message from one of the stars -- "contact" with "little green men" that are not little green men at all. the movie has both entertainment and considerable intellectual value. in contact, we have science fiction that is closer to science than mere fiction. in contact, we also have a woven picture of humanity, religion, politics and ambitions. all these elements contribute to an overwhelming movie-watching experience.

p.s. i love the book more than the movie. there's more drama, more character development, more picture of reality and undeniable scientific poetry in the book. dr. sagan pulled together the elements that pique my imagination well.

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered."
--Tom Stoppard

1. drats. i should stop listening to love songs. sad love songs.

2. aha, diving! i want to try scuba diving. i will try scuba diving. i am interested in sky diving. i am willing to try sky diving. oh, can you picture the thrill?! if it weren't for air resistance, sky diving wouldn't be a sport. it would only be plain suicide... and quite an expensive one at that. plus... plus... as they say, when it comes to sky diving, if at first you don't succeed, there's no next time. wehehehe.

3. can feel, can tell. can hear, can see. can live, can thrive. i swear, i'll bear. can't hurt, can't risk. can't want, can't have. too numb, too tired. i commit, i surrender. hmpf! noooooooo... that's it! i believe i have low EQ. i think i am emotionally unstable. duh, so much for trying to be rational.

4. i am determined to reach batanes before i turn 24. uhm, we'll see what happens to this determination.

5. i am still confused -- very, very confused -- and somewhat depressed. it doesn't show in my everyday though. see, i am h.a.p.p.y. (and my fingers are crossed behind my back. bleh.)

6. this blog will turn two years old on may 28. weeeeeeeeee... happy birthday, my bloggy! mwah.

7. i am going to watch the movie version of dan brown's the da vinci code. i've read the book a long time ago and i am interested to see tom hanks as robert langdon and audrey tautou as sophie.

8. i think i wanna be clarice starling, if only to get the chance of being face to face with (and earning the favor of) the brilliant and very cunning dr. hannibal lecter.

9. OMG, it's may! yes, i am aware that it's may.

10. i ought to eat yellow cab pizza again soon. i think i'm already suffering from withdrawal syndrome. my trips to sbarro didn't help. ack! patay, adik na talaga.

11. i need another vacation. as in. sun, sea, sand, and open air here i come! waaaaaaa, teka... ba't bumabagyo na?

12. what's up with the philippine political scene lately? same picture? same people? same problems?

13. i almost forgot that it was just last night when i watched mission: impossible iii. i didn't have expectations when i entered the movie house, so i did not have disappointments. i agree that the lamborghini's such a nice car.

14. no day but today. i still hear it in my head: RENT's roger is singing, who do you think you are? barging in on me and my guitar? little girl - hey, the door is that way... and mimi sings out her heart-tugging reply. whew! were you able to watch RENT?

15. i still have to learn how to drive a car on a busy road. bump cars and karts are different. i want to drive the real thing. i want speeeeeeeeeeeed. aws, busy road and speed don't really go together. ha ha.

16. i just learned a few hours ago that my campus in iligan is already a wifi zone. in fact, it has been since mid-march. whoa, how come i found out late?

17. i am currently craving for fruitshakes. i haven't eaten halo-halo nor ice cream this month, and that is quite unusual.

18. how are you doing, people? i'm curious.

19. i want to read another work of carl sagan. i gotta find another sagan book.

20. who me? no, not me. i break but i won't fall apart.

dear diary,

today, i went to eastwood in libis, quezon city with yoni for a get-together with high school batchmates who are currently living in the greater manila area. i now agree with my friend who said that eastwood's not that impressive. i find the place chaotic and i would rather have GB3 -- no offense meant to eastwood babies out there.

yoni and i got there in time, but we had to wait for our batchmates. they decided to meet somewhere in cubao before going to eastwood. to while away the time, we explored the place, i bought a pair of pink socks to add to my collection of cute socks, and we explored the place some more until we got tired of walking around. we found wooden benches in a semi-dark corner and we sat for a while. aside from "planning" for our next out of town trip which will be pretty soon, i also spent the time taking pictures of us using my cameraphone. i had to delete many shots due to inadequate lighting -- only two survived, one of which is that black and white photo that comes with this post.

just as i was getting too comfortable on the bench, our friends, ai-ai and mishay, finally arrived and we trooped to dencio's for dinner.

ladies and ladies

the four of us feasted on inihaw na tuna belly, sinigang na sugpo, pork sisig, ensaladang mangga, and rice. too bad, other members of manila-based ids99 couldn't and didn't make it to the venue for various reasons. almost two years ago, we awed ourselves when our attendance for the ids99 manila get-together in el pueblo, pasig city was 13. nevertheless, yoni, ai-ai, mishay and i were quite pleased with our night together. rose and ilian, an ids99 couple, called us while we were having dinner. the two couldn't join us because rose just got back from singapore that hour and had to deal with jet lag. in between eating, talking, dealing with our "busy" phones, we also took pictures!

we had long finished our meal and already paid for our bill when eldani, another batchmate, arrived. he came all the way from tagaytay and had been driving all day. being the body-builder that he is, he was mindful of his food intake so he didn't bother to request us to order food for him while we were waiting for his arrival nor did he order food when he finally arrived. instead, he suggested that we transfer to metrowalk. so, from eastwood in quezon city, we got into his car and drove to pasig city, where metrowalk is.

just as we got to metrowalk, manman, another manila-based ids99er, sent me an SMS asking how we were. i was a bit annoyed by him earlier because he didn't bother to reply to my text messages regarding the "spur-of-the-moment" get-together organized by mishay. after being ignored all day, there was his text message on my phone! (may pagka-consistent jud ni si manman ba.) i sort of updated him on our whereabouts and demanded that he should head for metrowalk ASAP to join us. he must have really thought of the things he was going to miss, he found his way to metrowalk an hour or so later.

april 23, 2006

in good company, out in the open, sitting on high chairs

we found a place in front of phi resto bar. from a little before midnight to 3am and in between trips to the restrooms, we had beer, talked about our lives, other people's lives and whatever, ate calamares, observed and "made comments" on passers by and other people in the vicinity, wondered about their behavior and fashion statements... and had our share of fun and laughter over our own stories. we whiled away the time the ids99 way, so to speak, until we finally decided to head back to our respective "homes".

eldani offered to drive for all of us and since he was eventually heading for antipolo, our first stop from metrowalk was sucat, parañaque. after several wrong turns, we finally got to lopez village and bade ai-ai goodnight. from sucat, we went to mishay's place in makati city. we were all so sleepy by this time, mishay offered coffee and refreshments. we declined and decided that all we needed was sleeeeeeeep. so, we spent an hour napping before we headed to shaw, yoni's drop-off point. actually, only eldani and manman got their nap. yoni and i tried to sleep but couldn't -- must be our insomnia acting up. by 6am, yoni stepped out of eldani's car. by 6:20am, it was manman and i's turn to step out of the car. eldani was driving all the way to antipolo to fetch his parents, who're to attend his sister's graduation in UP diliman. (yes, after driving all day from tagaytay to libis to pasig to sucat to makati to shaw to quezon city, it's antipolo then UP diliman for him!) to help him a bit in saving his energies, manman and i got off in front of quezon city hall. from there, we took a jeepney ride to get to our respective dorms. i was able to grab my needed sleep at 6:30am.

whew! what a night! what a day, too!

at about 2:30pm, i left diliman and went to the megamall in mandaluyong city. my friend weng and i decided to finally watch tristan + isolde. we planned to meet at 2pm, but i was late (as usual? hehehe)... i got to our meeting place at about 3pm. i found her in almon marina near powerbooks. she patiently waited there for me... sitting in front of her cup of coffee, which she placed beside her tumbler of "fake" fruitshake. it was still quite early for the screening time we intended to catch when i arrived, so i ordered yummy boston club sandwiches and refreshing real watermelon shake. too bad, i wasn't able to take a picture of the sandwiches with the tiny flags of switzerland and france planted on the top slices. weng and i were quite amused with the flags, we decided to keep them -- she got the swiss flag, i got the french. they're cute friendship souvenirs!

"Why be capable of feelings if we're not to have them? Why long for things if they're not meant to be ours?... Wherever you go, whatever you see,
I'll be there with you."
--lines of Isolde in Tristan + Isolde

after watching the movie, weng and i walked around the mall. we bought chicharon and ordered real fruitshakes -- she had buko pandan, i had banana split. i took a picture of our happy faces...

nerdy, pesky, and happy

p.s. while we were waiting for tristan + isolde to start, we saw for the first time the trailer of SUPERMAN RETURNS. according to the official movie website, it's to be released on june 30, 2006. so he's really coming back. i can't wait!!! (will christopher reeve be proud of brandon routh's performance? that remains to be seen.) now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to listen to london symphony orchestra's theme from superman. babush. sorry if i got you bored with this post.

I don't wanna be there.

Wait. I'm not talking about religion nor a heavenly city of God. I'm talking about a ghetto in Brazil.

The movie City of God is about that ghetto. The movie's title is the name of the ghetto itself, which is so ironic. Cidade de Deus, "a housing facility for the poor started in the 60's", is a very dangerous place. If you think Saray of Iligan is dangerous enough, think again! Cidade de Deus is by far more dangerous. People live there in a culture of too much violence and the trade they know of is that of guns and drugs, all illegal. It's normal to smoke joint. It's normal to see somebody being shot dead, every single day. Children there play with real guns with real bullets and with real people as targets. They dream of being fearsome gangsters and they start early. They prefer stealing and robbing than going to school. Even at a young age, they know how to kill people. They know how to kill people as if people are merely chickens. *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* Bullets would often fall all over the place like rain.

so young and so happy.
so young and so trigger-happy.

City of God depicts "the humanity of a world apparently condemned to endless violence".

You'd think it's just a movie, but no, THERE REALLY EXISTS A CITY OF GOD IN RIO DE JANIERO. I feel fortunate that I wasn't born in that part of the world and I feel sorry for the people especially the kids who are there. Watch City of God (if you haven't yet), so you'll understand me better.

"it is just a film. it is a construction. even so, it hurts."

--- from the film RECONSTRUCTION