Respecto a la historia contada, es sobre un muchacho, Christopher Johnson McCandless, que un buen día decidió dejar atrás su cómoda vida en la ciudad para ir a vivir la más grandiosa aventura a través de los Estados Unidos, Méjico y Canadá, para finalmente instalarse en Alaska.

Esto me hizo pensar: ¿hasta que punto deseamos vivir en la naturaleza, o vivir una experiencia en la naturaleza? ¿Qué consideramos vivir en la naturaleza? ya que sería muy fácil decir que nos gusta estar en el medio del campo con un equipo adecuado, abrigo, armas, un hacha bien afilada, provisiones, etc.

Es una excelente película para ver los peligros que encierra el ámbito donde practicamos nuestra pesca.

Una última imagen de Christopher Johnson McCandless, que cambio su nombre por Alexander Supertramp.

I'm just back from a video conference in New Orleans and suffering from jet lag but this little bit of news from Samhlaiocht's Jason O'Mahony has cheered me right up.  Kerry Film Club is back and they've got an impressive line-up for this season starting with Sean Penn's Into The Wild.  The film is showing tonight - Tuesday 14th October - at 8pm at the Siamsa Tire.  Tickets at the door are just €5 for members and membership costs just €1.

I'm there, Jason!

• Magistrale la regia (di Sean Penn).
• Appassionante la storia (vera di Christopher McCandless).
• Ammagliante il protagonista (Emile Hirsch).
• Mozzafiato la fotografia (alla faccia di quelli che pensano che in Alaska ci sia solo ghiaccio).
• Commovente la colonna sonora (orginale di Eddie Vedder).
• Forte il messaggio (e manifesto di un innegabile disagio sociale).
• Ma morire così (in uno scuolabus abbandonato) è da coglioni.

October 2, 2008

"Just like yesterday, he kept comin' at me with nothin'..."

Prior to heading out of Chicago, I was left in charge of several movies to bring with me to the Mission. One of which is "Cool Hand Luke". Last Saturday night, on hearing of Paul Newman's death, we watched the film which is considered his seminal work. As a movie-lover I'm embarrassed to say that I had never seen the whole film from beginning to end. Having only seen parts, most of which were the key parts, I had never seen how carefully this character of Lucas Jackson was developed. For almost the first 30 minutes, Luke's sparse dialog, starts with "Yeah, well..." and is followed by a short dismissive or self-depricating comment about his own character. This plays to the theme of "Nothingness" in talk and in material. The film continues to develop through Luke's action and enthusiasm. This enthusiastic commitment to action is exactly what creates the cult-like following from prisoners and guards, as he inspires them to act and think for themselves.

One of the greatest things about La Antigua, Guatemala, besides its plethora of cheap and effective Spanish Schools, is its plethora of cafes that show a few films every day. Earlier this week, one of these cafes showed "Into the Wild". Anyone that has discussed this book or film with me, will know my fascination with the real-life character of Chris McCandless. For those of you who don't know, Chris was a blindly idealistic early 20-something East-Coast kid of priviledge, who shortly after graduating college with honors, took off out West without notifying his family. His ultimate aim was to live in the wilderness of Alaska for an undetermined amount of time by using his wit and the little knowledge he had of hunting. Spoiler Alert: Chris winds up starving to death in Alaska.

I first read the book in early 2000 and finished it exactly as I was touching down in Buenos Aires, a young somewhat idealistic mid-20s kid on a lone journey to South America, the ultimate aim of which was to see and experience the Amazon Jungle, among other things. I think I read this book at the right time, for I could identify with everything Chris felt about society and the world which he left, however, it told me one thing, "Watch You Ass". From then on it served as both an inspirational and cautionary tale.

Chris McCandless sought an uncompromising and actual "truth", naked of all the comforts for which he saw as society's protection from "truth". He wound up relying on nothing but his confidence in his own determination and his wit, finding for a short time, as Luke did that "...sometimes 'nothing' can be a pretty cool hand." Besides, Luke's fight with Mutherhead, George Kennedy and the eating of 50 eggs, his best accomplishment was leading the crew in a race to finish their roadwork for no other apparent reason than to show that it could be done. Although, finishing the work so quickly didn't provide any other reward than an exhausted hour of rest and a smile, it gave he and the crew the realization that they were indeed alive and if for only a few hours, they were freemen.

Of course, those who seek an unbrindled truth, will often accept some pretty harsh penalty. That is essentially why it is an exercise that is so seldomly undertaken. After being put in the box for suspicion alone, Luke realized that he could never submit to a system that was illogical and deeply unfair. Having that notion in an authoritarian setting like prison, can only lead to misery and death. And, also having that notion while in the unforgiving wilderness like Alaska, can lead to the same end. However, what one absolutely cannot argue against is that in their journey and seeking, they had lived more fully than those of us who seek to only prolong the quantity of our lives.

Finally, just yesterday, I watched "No End in Sight", it is a documentary that very meticulously details exactly how the war in Iraq was doomed from before the very start. This isn't some leftist, anti-War propoganda, it is a film that compiles interviews with some of the governments highest and most experienced, intelligence and military personnel who were involved (and later relieved) of their positions, in lieu of younger, less experienced, political hires. As you watch these men and women lament the fact that they didn't do more knowing full-well that we were headed for disaster, that they didn't kick doors down, scream to the American public, run naked through Baghdad's streets in protest, it makes me think of Luke and Chris and how they would never had let this happen had they been in power. (I know it's understood that people with their rebellious spirit will seldom, if ever, reach to high power).

When Luke is first put in the box following his Mother's death, the guard apologizes by saying, "I'm sorry Luke, I'm just doing my job". Luke, of course responds, "Saying it's your job don't make it right." I thought about those experts, those men in power that had the ability to stop the machine if they did something crazy, something that would shake the idealouges from their flawed philosophy. They would have been fired, they would have been humiliated, they would have probably for a time, been broke, left with nothing. But, one thing they could have had was a command over the truth when it really counted, instead of lamentations and regrets four years, billions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives too late.

Not everyone has the ability or inclination to challenge wardens to seek the truth, or live in the wilderness to experience a primordial existence, but we do all have the ability to ask ourselves if what we're saying is true to ourselves and what we're doing is truly good for our friends, family and greater humanity, without putting our selfish desires and greed first. And without blindly hiding behind our 'duty' at work or somewhere else. Somewhere in between Luke and Chris is a practical way of living, that which seeks truth, that beautiful nothingness which inhabits our souls.

 “Happiness is only real if shared.”

Comme vous avez pu le constater ici ou là, j'étais d'humeur Into the wild. J'ai enfin vu le film de Sean Penn il y a deux jours et j'ai été plus que fascinée. L'histoire peut paraître banale au départ, du "déjà vu", mais le film nous envoûte du début à la fin. Peut-être est-ce la manière dont il est filmé, les musiques, la prestation de Emile Hirsch, le rôle principal, ou les paysages. C'est sûrement tout ça à la fois.

Le film est tirée d'une histoire vraie. Celle de Christopher McCandless dit "Alexander Supertramp" -Alexander Super Vagabond- un idéaliste né en 1968 aux États-Unis. Il a toujours rejeté la société de consommation que tout le monde connaît aujourd'hui, il était solitaire et adorait lire. En 1990, lorsqu'il obtient son diplôme universitaire, il décide de tout quitter et se lance dans un périple avec pour seul objectif, rejoindre l'Alaska.

Son histoire a déjà été adaptée en livre par John Krakauer, livre qui a bouleversé Sean Penn qui a ensuite décidé d'obtenir les droits.

Je pense que si le film était une pure fiction, il ne nous toucherait pas autant. Les images sont sublimes et la caméra nous plonge dans l'histoire. Nous ne sommes pas seulement des spectateurs mais nous vivons aux côtés de Super Vagabond pendant plus de 2h.

L'acteur signe une performance incroyable et il devient attachant au fur et à mesure que l'histoire avance. Je ne vais pas tout dévoiler car le film vaut vraiment le détour. On ne peut pas se contenter de lire le synopsis ou des résumés par-ci par-là, c'est vraiment un film à voir.

Je vous laisse donc avec un petit diaporama de photos que j'ai sélectionné sur le site officiel de Into the wild.

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.1646555&w=480&h=380&fv=gW%3D90448%26bC%3D1b0723%26aC%3Dd20039%26v%3D1.2]

Voici une critique complète que je partage à 100% sur le blog "Le cinéma de Jérémy".

Into the wild

"Àquela altura, Chris McCandless partira havia muito tempo. Cinco semanas antes, enfiara todas as suas coisas em seu pequeno carro e zarpara para o oeste, sem destino. A viagem seria uma odisséia no pleno sentido do termo, uma jornada épica que mudaria tudo. Ele passara os quatro anos anteriores, tal como via as coisas, preparando-se para cumprir um dever oneroso e absurdo: graduar-se na faculdade. Finalmente estava desimpedido, emancipado do mundo sufocante de seus pais e pares, um mundo de abstração, segurança e excesso material, um mundo em que ele se sentia dolorosamente isolado da pulsação vital da existência. Saindo de Atlanta para o oeste, pretendia inventar uma vida totalmente nova para si mesmo, na qual estaria livre para mergulhar na experiência crua, sem filtros. Para simbolizar o corte completo com sua vida anterior, adotou um nome novo. Não mais atenderia por Chris McCandless; era agora Alexander Supertramp, senhor de seu próprio destino."

Do livro Na Natureza Selvagem, de Jon Krakauer

Diz muito. Definitivamente diz muito pra mim. Nos próximos dias posto por aqui outros trechos que, também, dizem muito. E, ao término da leitura, escrevo aqui minhas impressões cheias de dramas. Porque, sinceramente, esse livro tem tocado alguns pontos da minha personalidade e dos meus desejos. Por enquanto, é só.

Zondag is het er eindelijk van gekomen. Steengoede film! Gebaseerd op een waargebeurd verhaal grijpt deze prent je twee en een half uur naar de keel.

Prachtige beelden, magnifieke soundtrack van Eddie Vedder en een verbluffende acteerprestatie van de voor mij onbekende Emile Hirsch, die naar verluidt 20 kg afviel om deze rol te spelen.

Waarover gaat het? Kort samengevat: pas afgestudeerde kerel heeft genoeg van zijn ouders en bij uitbreiding van de maatschappij en trekt met zijn rugzak door Amerika naar Alaska.

Meer ga ik er niet over zeggen, want dat is zinloos, maar deze film moet je gewoon gezien hebben.

Such is the way of the world
You can never know
Just where to put all your faith
And how will it grow

Gonna rise up
Burning back holes in dark memories
Gonna rise up
Turning mistakes into gold

Such is the passage of time
Too fast to fold
And suddenly swallowed by signs
Low and behold

Gonna rise up
Find my direction magnetically
Gonna rise up
Throw down my ace in the hole

I love this Eddie Vedder song. This is from the soundtrack of Into the Wild. Infact i like all the songs from the album. Its a wonderful movie too. Its a real life story. One man, after destroying all his assets and burning cash,documents like credit cards, degree certificates, leaves for Alaska alone. Sounds interesting, right? :-)

The writing of the album was made almost simultaneously with the movie, influence by the story and the first takes of the movie. "There were fewer choices. The story was there and the scenes were there" Vedder said, the songwriting process "grew" as Penn would ask him for more material. The movie is about Christopher McCandlessa, a 22-year old man who brilliantly graduated from university and decides to leave it all behind for a while (car, job opportunities, savings, family). This adventure into the wild is marvelously accompanied by the words and melodies of Eddie Vedder. The songs describe how Christopher must have felt throughout his journey: happy and wanting to shout out loud his feeling of freedom and sometimes feeling deeply lonely or revolted against that society made of lies and hypocrisy ("Society I hope you're not angry if I disagree"). That what makes this soundtrack so touching, it is about pure human feelings, this can not let you insensitive. This is definitely a recommended soundtrack and movie as well. Very inspiring reflections on how you fit in the society.

For you ears only here's Guaranteed

[audio http://thelonelyboy.free.fr/DL/Eddie%20Vedder%20-%20Guaranteed.mp3]

E' già la terza volta che ho visto questo film e ogni volta sono rimasto sempre più stupito di quanto fosse assolutamente bello e molto significativo,rimango anche meravigliato sia dall'abile regia di Sean Penn che dal soundtrack di Eddie Vedder (di cui poi scriverò le canzoni) :) . Aggiungerei anche un'esperienza di vita che fa veramente riflettere e vuole insegnare parecchie valori della vita troppo spesso dimenticati o confusi sempre più con altri apparentemente ritenuti più importanti.

Il film,tratto da una storia vera, riguarda la vita di un ragazzo laureato in scienze sociali di nome Christopher McCandless, il quale poteva avere tutto dalla vita: volontà di poter puntare per Harvard,un lavoro stabile,tanto denaro,tante automobili e,perchè no,anche una famiglia a cui possibilmente tirar su e badare. Tutte cose,queste,sempre accettate e ben volute da una società ormai stereotipata, robotizzata,che sa solo vivere sperando di poter raggiungere questi tanto e desiderati traguardi,quasi considerati come se fossero il vero frutto della felicità.Sono questi i target di una società cieca,muta e sorda a tutti gli eventi ed accondiscendente ai valori portati avanti dal consumismo e dal capitalismo.Tutto ciò è evidente al protagonista della nostra storia,che riesce a comprendere il senso di vuoto,di inadeguatezza del sistema che si può avvertire solo se tenuti gli occhi aperti;il frutto malato di una società malata,è questo ciò in cui si stava trasformando Chris.Alla luce di tali consapevolezze egli si sbarazzerà di tutti i documenti,carte di credito,darà in beneficenza il suo denaro e decide di partire,andare via "in un viaggio senza meta", che è ciò che,a detta di Chris, "innegabilmente ci rende da sempre euforici". Da questo momento in poi il nostro protagonista,assegnandosi il nome di Alexander Supertramp,sarà solo e farà vari viaggi a contatto con la natura,alberi,animali e tutto ciò che sia lontano dalla cosidetta civiltà moderna e tecnologica.
E' ora opprtuno che facciamo un passo indietro e parliamo del contesto familiare di Chris :) ; un ambiente,questo,non di certo caratterizzato dai migliori affetti per quel che riguarda i genitori, persone,queste ultime,che molto spesso avevano forti litigi,che erano tutt'altro che dedite alle necessità prettamente affettive dei figli e interessati quasi esclusivamente alla loro carriera. Tuttavia accadde qualcosa che per sempre pesò nel cuore di Chris:il padre tenne nascosta una relazione con un'altra donna ed ebbe anche dei figli. Fu un evento,questo,che il protagonista non perdonò al padre e accrebbe l'assenza di comunicazione già esistente in precedenza;in famiglia solo sua sorella poteva capire veramente cosa passò Chris in quel momento.Inoltre la decisione per questo che egli fece fu interpretata dalla sorella come "una svolta radicale della sua vita,come era nel suo carattere","una comprensione del vero senso della sua esistenza","la volontà di voler riscrivere pagine della sua vita".
Proseguiamo adesso con il viaggio di Supertramp ;) . Egli avrà modo di incontrare alcuni trebbiatori,con cui lavorerà presso un granaio per un pò, per poi andar via prefissandosi,però l'obiettivo di raggiungere l'Alaska, lì solo in mezzo alla natura e lontano da tutti. Frattanto nel suo lungo itinerare tra la natura incominata incontrerà anche una coppia hippie,con cui parlerà della loro esperienza e,in un certo senso,li ha aiutati a superare un momento molto particolare della loro vita stando insieme e parlandone,senza più rifugiarsi in un freddo muro di cemento quale è la mancanza di comunicazione (beninteso,comunque,rimane il fatto che alcune esperienze raccontate nel film siano state rese opportunamente drammatiche per comunicare un particolare messaggio).
Sotto il segno dell'assoluta libertà :) ,della compagnia di libri classici e dell'obiettivo Alaska,Supertramp continuerà ancora a percorrere strade,boschi,laghi,andò in kayak su di un fiume,incontrò nuovamente degli hippie e con una ragazza ebbe modo di conoscersi,di cantare insieme e poi di congedarsi suggerendole:"Se vuoi qualcosa nella vita,allunga la mano e prendila". Successivamente nel suo vagare Alex incontrerà Ron,un uomo anziano con cui parlerà delle condizioni del ragazzo caratterizzate dall'assenza di carriera e della condizione di vagabondo quale era,ma prontamente Supertramp fa notare che la sua è una scelta personale di vita e non gli interessa avere una carriera perchè da lui ritenuta come "invenzione del ventesimo secolo". Sarà poi Ron a portare a casa sua Alex per parlare della sua esperienza di vita,cioè un veterano che,persi la moglie ed il figlio in sua assenza per via della guerra,cercò di sfogarsi attraverso l'alcol,ma poi considerò l'ipotesi di creare un laboratorio dove poteva lavorare il cuoio,lontano da tutti e solo con un dolore che non è riuscito a colmare. In seguito è Alex a suggerire a Ron di poter uscire di casa in quanto,secondo il protagonista, "lo spirito dell'essenza dell'uomo sta nelle nuove esperienze" e la felicità non significa assolutamente condividere sentimenti con una persona o stare con altre persone, perchè "Dio ha messo felicità dapertutto". Ron apprezza il consiglio e suggerisce ad Alex di perdonare i suoi genitori,perchè,a detta del veterano,"quando si perdona,si ama e luce di Dio scende su di noi". Dopo questo incontro Supertramp,grazie anche all'attrezzatura fornitagli da Ron,è in grado di poter andare in Alaska,in assoluto contatto con il verde della natura,tra gli animali del posto,in totale libertà con il "Magic Bus" (rottami di un autobus di cui Alex si servì per cucinare e dormire).(E' da dire che in tale periodo,come mostra il film,il protagonista squarta un animale per prenderne delle parti commestibili e conservarle;vero è che Supertramp considererà il gesto come la cosa più tragica che abbia mai fatto,ma vi sono delle controversie relative al fatto che l'animale usato durante la scena del film fosse vero o finto). Successivamente accadde che,per ragioni tuttora sconosciute,Alex morì,ma in punto di morte egli scrisse una frase che,a mio parere, ritengo la più matura del suo pensiero:"la felicità è vera quando è condivisa" :) . Inoltre,in punto di morte,con lo sguardo rivolto in alto,verso il cielo, egli trovò in suo cuor il perdono dei suoi genitori...
Una storia molto bella,come detto prima,la quale dimostra una maturità particolare di Sean Penn come regista,per non parlare poi del soundtrack più che azzeccato di Eddie Vedder ;) e le parti ben recitate di tutti gli attori. Per saperne di più sulla storia di Alexander Supertramp, andate al seguente link: http://www.pearljamonline.it/intothewild/chrisarticle/chrisarticle.htm
Come promesso,scriverò nel blog anche alcune canzoni del soundtrack che ritengo veramente belle :) !!
SOCIETY
It's a mystery to me
We have a greed, with which we have agreed
And you think you have to want more than you need
Until you have it all, you won't be free

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely, without me

When you want more than you have, you think you need
When you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed
I think i need to find a bigger place
When you have more than you think, you need more space

Society, you're a crazy breed
Hope you're not lonely, without me

Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely, without me

It's those thinking more less, less is more
But if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make your level drops
Kinda like you're startin' from the top
And you can't do that

Society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely, without me
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely, without me
Society, have mercy on me
I hope you're not angry, if i disagree
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you're not lonely

Without me...
SOCIETA'
E' un mistero per me
Abbiamo un'avidità, ma che abbiamo accettato
Pensi di dover volere più di quello di cui hai bisogno
Finchè non hai tutto non sarai libero

Società, sei una razza folle
Spero che tu non sia sola, senza di me

Quando vuoi più di quello che hai, pensi di avere bisogno
Quando pensi più di quello che vuoi, i tuoi pensieri cominciano a svuotarsi
Penso di dover trovare un posto più grande
Perchè quando hai più di quello che pensi, hai bisogno di più spazio

Società, sei una razza folle
Spero che tu non sia sola, senza di me

Società, davvero folle
Spero che tu non sia sola, senza di me

Ci sono quelli che pensano, più o meno, meno è di più
Ma se meno è di più, come fai a tenere il punteggio?
Significa che per ogni punto che fai scendi di livello
E' un po' come cominciare dalla cima
E non puoi farlo

Società, sei una razza folle
Spero che tu non sia sola, senza di me
Società, davvero folle
Spero che tu non sia sola, senza di me
Società, abbi pietà di me
Spero che tu non ti arrabbi, se non sono d'accordo
Società, davvero folle
Spero che tu non sia sola

Senza di me...

GUARANTEED
On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
That all my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe...

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
Got a mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Owning me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I'm never what they thought
I've got my indignation, but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they're singing with the dead
Overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me
Guaranteed

GARANTITO
Inginocchiato non c'è modo di essere libero
Sollevando una tazza vuota, chiedo silenziosamente
Che tutte le mie destinazioni accettino quella che sono io
Così posso respirare...

Cerchi si espandono e ingoiano le persone per intero
Per metà delle loro vite dicono buonanotte a mogli che non conosceranno mai
Ho una mente piena di domande ed un insegnante nella mia anima
Così va la vita...

Non avvicinarti di più o dovrò andarmene
Certi posti mi attraggono come la gravità
Se mai ci fosse qualcuno per cui restare a casa
Saresti tu...

Tutti quelli che incontro, in gabbie che hanno comprato
Pensano a me e al mio girovagare, ma io non sono mai quello che pensavano
Ho la mia indignazione, ma sono puro in tutti i mei pensieri
Sono vivo...

Vento tra i miei capelli, mi sento parte di ovunque
Sotto il mio essere c'è una strada che è scomparsa
A notte fonda sento gli alberi, stanno cantando con i morti
Sopra di me...

Lascia che mi occupi io di trovare un modo di essere
Considerami un satellite, in orbita per sempre
Conoscevo tutte le regole, ma le regole non mi conoscevano
Garantito.

“ Io mi prostro infinite volte davanti a Dio che è nel fuoco e nell’acqua, che pervade l’intero mondo, che è nelle annue messi come negli alberi perenni.” R. Tagore

“ Con ogni cosa, sia essa in alto o in basso, lontana o vicina, visibile o invisibile, tu conserverai relazione ed illimitato amore senza mai animosità alcuna e senza brama di uccidere.” Buddha

Ho appena finito di vedere “ Into the wild”…Se volete avere una vaga idea di cosa possa significare trovare la pace e l’armonia con se stessi e con il mondo, dovete vederlo! Possiamo considerarlo la risposta occidentale allo Yoga o al Tao…e infatti c’entra tantissimo con quello che in questi giorni sto leggendo di Tagore( Sadhana).

Volendo iniziare dal film, si tratta di un viaggio, che come tutti i viaggi ha una partenza ed un arrivo; in questo caso si comincia con una fuga da relazioni falsate ed un tentativo di progressiva liberazione dal materialismo. Il punto di approdo inizialmente risulta sfocato, si trova in cima ad una scala, il percorso non è orizzontale ma si sviluppa in verticale; il protagonista passa per nuove relazioni, questa volta sincere ed immediate, grazie alla scoperta dentro di sé della spontaneità e dell’innocenza. Queste sono qualità proprie della Natura, o meglio dire di Madre Natura, a cui lentamente si avvicina ricercando un contatto più intenso nei luoghi sempre più selvaggi che visita, e la Madre Natura, una volta riconosciuta, saprà accoglierlo. La regia di Sean Penn poi, è riuscita perfettamente a rendere quel coinvolgimento interiore che in qualche momento ognuno di noi ha provato…Quando ti siedi sull’erba, e lasci che gli ultimi pensieri scorrano, ti ritrovi lentamente avvolto in quel profondo silenzio, nell’armonia vibrante dei profili naturali, la solidità e l’equilibrio di quei rapporti spontanei ti fanno ridere di tutti i tuoi tumulti…

Non per una fissa sull’India, ma in merito a questi argomenti in generale gli Orientali hanno qualcosa da insegnarci; in noi il rapporto con la Terra sembra essersi rotto parecchio tempo fa …cosicché oggi ci ritroviamo a ripiegarci su noi stessi, a farci del male…ma come è potuto succedere? Non potrò mai dimenticare le immagini degli animali che in Campania cadono sfiniti e attoniti, malati e morenti…

Tagore ci dice: “L’Occidente sembra inorgoglirsi al pensiero che va soggiogando la Natura, quasi noi vivessimo in un mondo ostile, ove tutto ciò che ci è necessario debba strapparsi alla malevolenza di un ordine di cose a noi avverso. Questo sentimento è il prodotto del modo di pensare formatosi nella consuetudine delle mura cittadine. Poiché nella vita di città, l’uomo volge naturalmente tutta l’intensità della visione mentale sulla sua vita e le sue opere, e ciò genera un’artificiale dissociazione tra lui e la Natura Universale nel cui grembo egli vive…Ma nell’India antica troviamo invece che questa condizione di vita nelle selve non sopraffece l’animo dell’uomo, né affievolì il corso delle sue energie; soltanto lo spinse verso una particolare direzione. Essendo stato l’uomo in continuo contatto con i prodotti della Natura, la sua mente restò immune dalla brama di allargare il suo dominio elevando attorno alle sua proprietà mura di confine. Queste mura lasciano una traccia profonda nelle menti degli uomini. Esse stabiliscono nel nostro animo diffidente, il principio “divide et impera” che genera in noi l’abitudine di assicurarci tutte le nostre conquiste, fortificandole e separandole l’una dall’altra.

Secondo quale ragionamento che non sia un errore dovremmo considerarci un sistema chiuso e a parte rispetto all’ambiente circostante che invece, animale, pianta o sasso che sia, riesce a seguire un suo unico, armonioso ritmo? E quale significato dare a questo processo meraviglioso?

“ L’India con la meditazione e l’attività, e con un suo sistema di vita, coltivò la sua coscienza in modo che tutte le cose ebbero un significato spirituale per lei. La terra, l’acqua e la luce, i frutti ed i fiori, non le apparvero semplicemente quali fenomeni fisici da servirsene e poi trascurare; ma furon cose necessarie al conseguimento del suo ideale di perfezione…” L’uomo di scienza sa che il mondo non è semplicemente quale appare ai nostri sensi: egli sa che la terra e l’acqua sono in realtà il gioco di forze che si manifestano a noi come terra e acqua…l’uomo che ha gli occhi dello Spirito aperti, sa che la verità finale circa la terra e l’acqua, consiste nella nostra comprensione della volontà eterna che opera nel tempo…Essa non ci conduce alla potenza, come fa la scienza, ma ci da la gioia che è il risultato dell’unione di cose affini. Un uomo che non sente la sua affinità con il mondo, vive in una specie di prigione le cui pareti gli sono ostili. Quando egli invece ritrova in tutte le cose l’eterno spirito, allora è emancipato perché scopre il più completo significato del mondo in cui vive…

La mente indiana ebbe la nozione della superiorità dell’uomo nella scala della creazione. Ma in quanto a ciò che realmente costituisce questa superiorità, essa ebbe la sua particolare idea. Per l’Indiano consiste non già nel potere di possesso, ma nel potere di unione. L’India comprese che quando noi, con barriere fisiche e mentali, ci separiamo violentemente dall’inesauribile vita della natura, quando diventiamo soltanto uomo e non uomo nell’universo, poniamo dei problemi complicati, ed avendo chiusa l’origine della loro soluzione , andiamo tentando ogni sorta di metodi artificiali, ciascuno dei quali porta la sua messe di interminabili difficoltà. Quando l’uomo lascia il suo posto di quiete nella natura universale, per camminare come sulla sola corda dell’umanità, gli accade come in una danza, o come a chi sta per cadere; egli deve incessantemente sforzare ciascun nervo e muscolo a mantenere ad ogni passo l’equilibrio; e allora , negli intervalli della sua stanchezza, inveisce contro la Provvidenza, e prova un segreto orgoglio al pensiero d’essere stato indegnamente trattato nell’ordinamento universale delle cose.

Deve sapere che quando si esclude dal contatto vivificante e purificante dell’infinito, e si fonda su se stesso per sostenersi e guarirsi, si spinge alla frenesia , si riduce in brandelli e divora la sua propria sostanza.

Tutta la nostra poesia, filosofia, scienza, arte e religione intendono ad allargare la nostra coscienza verso sfere più alte e più estese. Tuttavia noi dobbiamo pagare il prezzo di questo conseguimento della libertà di coscienza. Qual è questo prezzo? E’ la rinunzia al proprio io (ego). Quindi per poter essere pienamente coscienti della realtà del tutto bisogna essere liberi dalla schiavitù del desiderio individuale. Ogni tentativo di conseguire una vita più grande esige dall’uomo di guadagnare dando via, e non essere avido. E così è intento dell’umanità l’ampliare gradualmente la coscienza della propria unità col tutto.

grazie ad Axinia per le foto!

Résumé :

Christopher McCandless est un étudiant américain brillant qui vient d'obtenir son diplôme et qui est promis à un grand avenir. Rejetant les principes de la société moderne, il décide de partir sur les routes, sans prévenir sa famille...

Je vous conseille de regarder ce film. Il est tiré d'une histoire réelle. La réalisation est grandiose. Le casting est parfait et la BO magnifique.

La morale de l'histoire vous fera sans nul doute réfléchir...

A voir au plus vite !

Pensamiento

Aujourd'hui j'ai été le pire mec asocial de tout l'univers. J'ai presque pas ouvert ma bouche de tout le cours d'Amphi, alors qu'il était vraiment ennuyant.
[caption id="attachment_68" align="aligncenter" width="190" caption="Perturbée, asociale et droguée."][/caption]

Je vous explique un peu : Je suis dans un environnement où je côtoie les mêmes personnes depuis deux ans, et cette année c'est la troisième (vive la Faculté !, qui disait). Et aujourd'hui j'en ai eu ras le bol de parler aux mêmes personnes, d'écouter les mêmes profs, d'être assis à la même place. Je veux du changement. J'ai envie de déménager, de partir loin comme dans Into the Wild (très bon film que j'ai visionné dimanche après-midi, mais un peu déçu par le contenu, du moins).

Voilà, je vous ai tout expliqué, enfin presque. J'aimerais bien devenir un étudiant qui se réfugie dans le travail pour ne plus faire face à cette réalité dure qu'est la vie d'aujourd'hui, et de même avoir des bonnes notes (en travaillant mes cours 20h/24, je dois bien me taper des 18/20 quand même ?! Non !?) mais le problème c'est ma procrastination. Oui, je sais ce que vous vous dites, je suis un homme faible comme les autres, sensible à toutes les maladies next gen inimaginables.

Alors voilà, je pars en direction de la cuisine, refaire un peu de vaisselle : ça va me détendre...

Into the Wild (2007): 3.5/5

From the kaleidoscopic 'Speed Racer' seeing Emile 'Emperors Club' Hirsch in 'Into the Wild' was well, quite a surprise.

In 'Into the Wild', Hirsch plays a straight-A college grad-turned-hitchhiking jungle boy who seeks adventure in the Alaskan wilderness to define his existence only to discover that he's gotten too far into the depths of his journey. Or something like that.

In the world of Hirsch's character Chris McCandless , aka Alex Supertramp, society is evil (as the dialogue incessantly reiterates) and strange road people and hippies are saints. Penn delivers stunning visuals and Christ-like imagery, but at the end of the day this film seems to want to point out the necessity to undergo traumatic experiences (like eating poisonous berries) to realise who they are and what's vital in life. Amazing

It had been done before, even long after Thoreau penned Walden. A trend of young men from well-off families who had backgrounds similar to McCandless: intelligent, good students, accomplished atheletes. Chris's parents owned a business and lived in the suburbs. These modern day adventurers would eventually resign to the wildnerness, and it was often a failure to really prepare for it that lead to early deaths. McCandless, at the age of 24, died only two years after resolving to indulge this indefinite primitive experiment, surviving 112 days in the Alaskan wildnerness until he was poisoned by a variety of plant he'd eaten. His story was retold in Jon Krakauer's article for a 1993 issue of Outside, "Death of an Innocent," before being turned into Into the Wild, a book that included Krakauer's own experiences in the wilderness, and most recently, adapted for film by director Sean Penn.

Critical reactions to McCandless's story and those of his predecessors tend to miss the point of their voluntary transformation: it was an act of escape. By contrast, any willingness to accept these absurdities otherwise, were baffling to them; something like Fight Club, but without an excessive (and violent) catharsis. The simplest example of this point is when McCandless wanted to raft down the Colorado River and was told, he'd first have to get a permit. Before he was issued anything, however, he'd have to put his name on a waiting list. Reservations for requested permits already filled the next twelve years. McCandless, in stunned disbelief asks, "12 years - to paddle down a river?!"

But, McCandless and his fellow escapists also had to go to great lengths to satisfy their separation from the world they'd view as alienating and corrupt, wandering far into the fringes of the last bits of siolated, American wilderness. McCandless made that journey nearly 20 years ago.

One of the characters in Charles Williams' suspense 1962 novel, Dead Calm, later adapted twice for film (the first being an unfinished Orson Welles picture), suggests that there is no idyllic setting to retreat to anymore. The young painter who wants to go to Polypenisia to live like Gaugin once did won't find what he's looking for, this particular character reasoned. "In the first place, there's no escape from our so-called civilization anymore; the twenties century is something we're locked into and there's no way we can get out; when we got to Papeete we'd probably find the same jukeboxes, the same headlines, the same cocktail parties, the same jet service from here to there, the same Bomb, and the same exhorations to embrace the finer life by buying something."

If trivialities conquer the universe, the only escape then, is within yourself, something Tyler Durden most poignantly demonstrated in Fight Club; his philosophy simply being "just let go". In 1993, director Peter Weir's Fearless was released. It was more of what might be thought of as an independent drama by today's standards, one devling into philosophical debate rather than typical hum-drum narrative. More importantly, it offers a different view of escapism in the modern, 20th century-saturated world.

Adapted from Rafael Yglesias's novel, it stars Jeff Bridges as Max Klein, a plane crash survivor. This is how the movie immediately begins and we see Klein, deftly nervous about flying while his colleague assures him that everything will be just fine. Klein appears dazed amidst the wreckage, but looks to help others who were aboard the plane. His behavior seems almost matter-of-fact, and instead of notifying his wife and son of his survival, he instead checks into a hotel and visits an old friend before police come knocking on his door, having finally found him. But in those few days since the wreck, he had entered a strange new plane of invincibility. And in his disappearance, a sort of escape. He became invisible to his world and sort of wandered through it like a living ghost, no longer burdened or afraid of anything. (In one scene he closes his eyes while driving on the interstate and allows the car to veer as it may while he presses the accelerator to the floor). The film does an amazing job of taking demonstrating that abstract for the viewer, to see the world as Klein does before and after the crash.

While he manages to transcend the limitations of his previous life, it's something that his wife and others around him don't seem to understand. And the local news crews that constantly hound him, parade him as the 6 o'clock headline hero. John Turtorro plays Bill Perlman, a psychiatrist hired by the airline to console the survivors, but the ones he can't seem to connect with are Max and the seriously depressed Carla Rodrigo (Rosie Perez, earning a nomination for Best Supporting Actress for this role), who blames herself for her infant's death when the plane crashed. Max, who views most everyone around him reacting to the crash (the lawyer, the media, Carla's husband, etc.) as selfish and instead, he befriends Carla and helps her with her emotional recovery, trying to reveal to her the same change he had undergone: that she has to start letting go. Her child's death isn't something she can change, nor should she blame herself for.

As Max and Carla become closer friends, he draws further away from his wife, Laura (Isabella Rossellini) who doesn't understand the lasting personality change in her husband, and further becomes frustrated when he tells her that she didn't really understand what he had gone through when they crashed, nor that she ever could. How could he go back to what he had escaped, or what would it take for her to reach that unbound reality, too, especially where it took drastic means to transform Klein.

(The video clip above is a fan video montage using scenes from Fearless. Song: "Excess" by Tricky.)

First Swingers, a cult classic but I simply knew nothing about it. A remarkable Vince Vaughn performance but also a very evocative experience. Not so much a story but a few days in the everyday lives of a group of aspiring actors in LA. An electric performance by Heather Graham - always a treat on the eye; and a hugely amusing scene where the hero - John Favreau - is ringing the number of a girl he met, then doesn't finish his phone number, then rings and rings again until she finally picks up and says "never call me again." Really very funny but also painful in the way the film draws you into this person's life so you cringe at his mistakes as you would your own friends'.

Then Marie Antoinette by Sophia Coppolla and staring Kirsten Duntz, Judy Davies and a hatfull of other stars including Steve Coogan. Another really visually stunning movie from a woman who has all her father's skills - I don't think there's any actual dialogue for about the first 15 minutes but the imagery of 18th Century Versailles kidnaps your attention. Once again, after Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation, the soundtrack is half the experience - almost like the film is one enormous music video.

Finally, Into the Wild which is an adventure as profound as the one you're are watching. Very difficult to talk about why this film is truly brilliant without spoiling it for those that haven't read it, which is why I think that no one had really described it to me for fear of doing just that. "Just watch it" they kept saying, "watch it". That's all I can say also - "just watch it."

So the real trick with all of these films - very little information, no preparedness and no preconception. If only the media hype around a movie didn't spoil this mind set so much.

Outstanding Audio Post- Feature Film

Wanted

Wylie Stateman and Harry Cohen (Soundelux) & Christopher Jenkins and Frank A. Montano (Universal Studios)

Wall-E

Ben Burtt (Pixar Animation Studios), Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Matthew Wood (Skywalker Sound)

 Into the Wild

Michael Minkler (Todd-AO), Lora Hirschberg (Skywalker Sound) and Martin Hernandez (Ztrackz)

Outstanding Audio Post- Television

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION"Cockroaches"

Mace Matiosian, Ruth Adelman, David Vanslyke, Bill Smith, Yuri Reese and Jivan Tahmizian (Todd-AO)

John Adams, Episode 3: “Don’t Tread on Me”

Marc Fishman and Tony Lamberti (Todd-AO) & Stephen Hunter Flick and Vanessa Lapato (Warner Bros. Post)

R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour “Don't Think About It”

Sam Kaufmann and John Schell (Media City Sound)

The HPA Awards were created to foster awareness of post production, promote creative and technical excellence, and recognize the achievements of post production talent.

Winners of the HPA Award will be announced during a gala evening ceremony on November 6, 2008 at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles.

Saya beberapa hari lalu dikasih pinjem sebuah DVD (bajakan pastinya) berjudul Into The Wild. Teman saya yang menyodorkan film ini cuma bilang "nih film lumayan, cerita petualangan, tapi agak bosenin soalnya drama banget sih.. kurang seru, gak ada berantem, tembak-tembakan dan telanjangnya!" Wahduh?

Alkisah akhirnya saya nonton film ini. 10 menit pertama agak penasaran, mulai tertarik, dan 2 jam 25 menit kemudian saya sudah memutarnya lagi untuk kedua kalinya. Sambil berjanji pada diri sendiri, untuk tidak akan pernah menanyakan referensi fim pada teman saya tadi!!! Melihat tanggal produksinya saya benar-benar merasa bodoh! Tiap hari melek internet tapi bisa gak tau ada kisah sebagus ini!!! Bahkan seorang Sean Penn dalam acara Oprah mengaku rela menunggu 10 tahun demi mendapat ijin dari keluarga McCandless untuk memfilmkan peristiwa ini, karena mereka masih merasa belum siap untuk menyaksikan kisah anaknya di layar. Walhasil saya gak mau mengulangi ketololan saya, dan sekian jam berikutnya saya pake buat surfing nyari sebanyak-banyaknya artikel tentang Chris McCandless alias Alex Supertramp yang luar biasa ini.

Sekilas kisahnya berawal dari seorang anak muda, Christopher, dari keluarga McCandless yang sangat berkecukupan. Setelah lulus kuliah dengan predikat sangat memuaskan, alih-alih melanjutkan karir yang cerah, Chris malah memutuskan untuk meninggalkan semua itu, menyingkirkan keluarga, identitas, mobil dan uangnya (sebagian besar disumbangkan ke Oxfam, sisanya dibakar!!), dan memilih untuk mengikuti impiannya yaitu hidup bertualang dan tinggal di alam liar Alaska, untuk memenuhi idealismenya tentang nilai-nilai hidup. Dengan bermodalkan keteguhan hati yang luar biasa dia melangkah dengan tidak mempedulikan kerasnya jalanan, alam, dan masyarakat. Segala cara ditempuh dengan alami tanpa banyak perencanaan, dari jalan kaki, mendaki tebing, hitchhiking, kerja serabutan buat makan dan beli perlengkapan, tidur sana-sini, sampe berperahu kayak sejauh 400 mil tanpa ijin (dan tanpa pengalaman) di sungai Colorado yang deras, semua hanya untuk membawanya ke tanah impiannya: Alaska.

Setelah tiba di sana bisa dibayangkan kegembiraan hatinya, dan dia benar-benar memutuskan tinggal di tengah dinginnya alam hanya dengan perlengkapan seadanya plus sebuah bangkai bus yang dia gunakan sebagai tempat tinggal. Selama di sana Chris benar-benar meresapi setiap momennya dan tidak pernah sedetikpun menyesali pilihan hidupnya, sebaliknya justru dia mendapat kebahagiaan karena memperoleh banyak jawaban akan nilai-nilai yang dicari, yang selalu ditambahkan dalam buku hariannya. Hidupnya yang singkat namun sangat berarti itu terpaksa berakhir karena tubuhnya ternyata tak seperkasa hatinya dan harus mengaku kalah pada kekuatan alam Alaska setelah 189 hari. Manusia hebat ini menutup mata untuk selama-lamanya meninggalkan sebuah senyum kepuasan dan berlembar-lembar catatan yang dikemudian hari terbukti menggugah hati banyak orang untuk bisa melihat perspektif lain dalam menilai kehidupan. Sampai kini bus tempat Chris tinggal masih ada dan dikunjungi ribuan orang tiap tahunnya untuk sekedar menunjukkan simpati dan penghargaan akan apa yang telah dilakukannya. Tapi namanya manusia, ada aja yang masih tega melakukan vandalisme dan mencuri beberapa barang peninggalan Chris di situ untuk dikoleksi atau dijual di Ebay!

Argh, Chris McCandless umurnya baru 23 tahun! Malu saya! Saya lalu baca bukunya yang berjudul sama, ditulis oleh Jon Krakauer, seorang petualang legendaris yang juga penulis. Makin malu. Liat foto-fotonya. Wah, haru biru...

Yang spesial dari anak muda itu selain keberanian dan kepolosannya adalah tingkat intelejensinya yang tinggi dalam memahami dirinya sendiri. Pribadi dan cara pandangnya sendiri banyak dipengaruhi kata-kata mengagumkan dari H.D. Thoreau, Leo Tolstoy, dan Jack London yang merupakan pengarang pujaannya, dan dia berhasil menerjemahkan kesemuanya dengan indah dalam kenyataan yang luar biasa!

Secara keseluruhan kisah ini sangat inspiratif dan sulit dilupakan. Tentu banyak juga yang melihatnya sebagai tindakan bodoh yang emosional belaka.

Tapi saya mikirnya lain.

Ini masalah seberapa berani anda menjalani hidup sepenuh mungkin dengan meminta sesedikit mungkin?

Seberapa berani anda melakukan apa yang diidam-idamkan jiwa anda?

Seberapa berani anda mengatakan tidak pada sesuatu yang anda rasa tidak sesuai dengan anda?

Seberapa kuat anda memegang apa yang anda yakini?

Seberapa jauh anda berani menantang diri anda sendiri?

Nilai kehidupan buat tiap orang memang berbeda, tapi modal untuk meraihnya saya rasa sama... yang dibutuhkan cuma keberanian! Hal yang (moga-moga belum terlambat) sedang saya kumpulkan sekarang ini...

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future"

"The very basic core of man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of live comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have new and different sun" -Christopher McCandless-

"If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed" -Leo Tolstoy-

"Rather than Love, than Money, than Fame, give me Truth" -Thoreau-

"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us" -Thoreau-

"How important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong" -Primo Levi-

"There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself" -Thoreau-

"When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it!"-Chris McCandless-

"Happiness only real when shared" -Chris McCandless a.k.a Alex Supertramp

In addition, the housing for the experimental school was set up in an ashram situation, so that the students were thrown together in a community-style setting so that aspects of the day-to-day routine could be incorporated into the learning experience.

For its day, the concept was novel and forward-thinking, and did much to formulate a number of my vital ideas about society and the human condition.

One day, a visitor to the College sat down next to me in the common room,  and we engaged in a long-winded philosophical talk.

At the end of our conversation the gentleman (about fifteen years older than myself) took out a pen and paper, jotted down a few words, and then handed over the note.

As he strode off chuckling, I glanced down at his comments and was struck dumb.

After a bit of meaningless rambling he remarked in a somewhat angry tone:

"You are a product of the petite bourgeoisie, and until you rid yourself of the sins of your capitalistic parents, your soul will know no rest."

I was thunderstruck!

The words often return to haunt me; subsequently, to this day I often reflect on their meaning.

So - when the opening scenes of "In the wild" (Sean Penn directed) unfolded on the screen - the origins of the emotions of the Chris McCandless character were easy to fathom.

An innocent seeking the answers, he was obviously troubled by the emphasis his parents placed on "things" material, and the importance of outward appearances.

Without doubt, the young lad (fresh out of College) was also troubled by the lies and half-truths that his parents engaged in and the gut-wrenching surrealness of their daily existence.

It is evident from the get-go that Chris felt their value system was twisted; so, he hankered to wash his hands of it.

Understandably, he made a quick exit one day in search of the answers, to the puzzlement of his parents.

After an unexpected flash-flood shakes him up a little in the desert - he abandons his beat up car, burns his money - and strikes out into the wilderness.

He seeks a life without the ties that bind.

During a brief stint of hitch-hiking, the young adventurer encounters a handful of intriguing characters.

For example, on one comical occasion, he stumbles on a commune for hippies as he is humbly encamped next to a nudist-colony in the wilderness while working at a local grainery.

After making a pact to realize his dream of habitating in the wilds of Alaska, McCandless hastens to line up a job or two to earn some money, so that he can embark on his plans without delay.

Eventually, he takes his first unsteady steps into the great white North, then promptly sets up a respite in an abandoned bus near a lush riverbank.

Within a few short eventful weeks, it appears McCandless will grasp the golden ring he's been achingly grasping for.

For example, he sups on his own wild-life catch daily, ever-mindful of the delicate balance of nature and the need for harmony.

But - due to a lack of experience, stupidity, or an unfortunate miscalculation - our conquering hero gets trapped in the wilderness without warning.

Without ready food on hand, McCandless (this is a true story) tries to find sustenance in nature; however, after mistakenly gobbling down a handful of poisonous berries, his sad demise unfolds miserably before us.

There is nothing earth-shattering or innovative about this tale.

In fact, thousands of teens - boys and girls alike - slip away quietly (or run) from unhappy homes every year in America with the insatiable desire to find a better life, some answers about the meaning of it, or quite simply to get their bearings in the great scheme of things.

Emile Hirsch turns in a stunning winning performance for the full-length of this overly-long - at times - draggy film.

Yes, the up-and-coming actor manages to sustain our interest and hold his own, much to his credit.

The breathtaking cinematography and raw footage of the wild is worth the price of admission alone.

But some of the material is well-travelled, cliche - and frankly - dated.

Since Penn struggled for ten years to secure the rights to the story, it's easy to fathom why the tale fails to resonate profoundly; indeed, had it been produced a decade or so ago the impact would have been more resounding.

Penn's attempts at gimmicks and storytelling tools - with the specific aim of Hollywood-izing the film - are misguided, too; ultimately, the awkward efforts take away from the natural sweetness and simple truths that lie at the tender heart of it.

However - "In the Wild" - is enjoyable family entertainment; albeit, nothing particularly outstanding.

Some would label it middle-of-the-road - a popcorn film - at best.

For the next four days I'll be exploring The Adirondacks in NY, with my sister, her boyfriend and another couple of close friends. The five of us will be hiking Algonquin on Friday and have a list of possibles for Saturday. If you see a red headed mohawked woman wondering around Lake Placid with her camera stuck to her face, that will be me, and you should say hello.

I'm now credit debt free and breathing easier. Somehow just knowing this fact, lifts a massive weight from me. The creative part of me feels less stifled and oppressed, and ideas have been spilling out everywhere; like an open dam it's as though a part of me I let overgrow with choke for years has now begun to flow again.

So, with tomorrow morning close at hand I'm finding myself more nervous than I have been over the last six or so months of planning for this hiking trip. I have my reasons; insecurities that bloom in the dark when I'm alone with my thoughts, my dreams of rocks and wildlife and sunsets over mountains I've -never- seen.

• I'm afraid my insides are too fierce for the life I'm forced to live; that my physical shell contains me in so many unbearable ways that I rip open myself in manners I should never, to simply voice that there is someone inside, someone not like everything you -see-.
• I'm terrified that my spirit will last me the climb but that my body will not; that despite my will to want to do every inch of Algonquin, my body will not let me. Just thinking this crushes me. I've spent the better part of the summer doing hill runs, leg presses, and building, in order to do something beyond what I ever thought I could be able to do.
• There's a realistic truth to knowing that I might incur more physical damage to my back by climbing than what I give honest thought to. Especially because I push myself -hard-. I worry about returning in a state worse than what I left in, in a way that's not reparable.
• I worry that I won't want to come back; that everything here will seem irrelevant and trivial after I reach the top of that peak and summit. If that's true, then I'm not as honest with my life as I should or need to be, and then something definitely will have to change.
• People have told me this trip is a waste of my time and money; which tells me the people I choose to have in my life are a waste of my time. Even when I feel like I've weeded out all the poison, and shielded myself sufficiently from those that would seek to little me, they are there with words and thoughts that blacken every good intention and dream. I don't ever seem to learn this lesson, and this worries me.

Those are vibrations from just underneath my nervous surface. My bags and gear are packed, my projects are mostly complete, my eyes are heavy and all I can think about are endless forests filled with changing leaves. This is my *Power Up* and now I'm ready for what ever comes next.

[into the wild, 2007]