It’s a rainy Saturday…I suddenly start humming a song I haven’t heard for a long time…Its “Strawberry Wine” by Deana Carter from an Album called “Did I shave my legs for this?”

Funny, how songs could stir memories of tastes, images, scents, moods and sensations…all out of the blue.

So here’s the link to the song, and the lyrics.

http://www.imeem.com/people/Jx6Lm-s/music/kJnJZbkq/deana_carter_strawberry_wine/

Strawberry Wine

He was working through college
On my grandpa’s farm
I was thirsting for knowledge
And he had a car.
Yeah, I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
One restless summer we found love growing wild.
On the banks of a river on a well beaten path,
It’s funny how those memories they last.

Chorus
Like Strawberry Wine
Seventeen
The hot july moon
Saw everything
My first taste of love…Woah, bittersweet
The green on the Vine
Like Strawberry Wine

I still remember
when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September
When he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste of  strawberry wine…

Chorus

The fields have grown over now
Years since they’ve seen a plow
There’s nothing time hasn’t touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I’ve been missing so much!
Yaaaaaah. 

I never planned on having to rely on a diary. I had a small notebook for homework assignments, and aside from that I could remember whatever I needed to. At least until I grew up. Somehow there's a lot more to remember when you have bills to pay, children's school activities and doctor appointments, shopping lists, and who knows what variety of other commitments and responsibilities. I started writing things down.

I've never gotten very organized about it, however. There's a calendar on the wall near the computer, where I can see at a glance what each person in the family has coming up. If it's been written on the calendar, that is. At work I tried using a Franklin-Covey planner, but found that I didn't use it much. Mostly I kept track of things the way I always had, by keeping whatever paperwork I was working on in sight somewhere on the desk. And like most cubicle inhabitants these days, I use sticky notes.

I really don't have a lot of them, most of the time. A shopping list, a phone number or two, something I've been asked to do, perhaps some info I looked up in one computer program and need to use when I go into another one (copy and paste works for just one bit of data, but I've never gotten the hang of keeping track of multiple items on the Office Clipboard). I've seen co-workers with sticky notes littering half the desk - and not sticking so well anymore.

That was the mental image I had this morning, explaining to a co-worker how it happened that I fulfilled her request so promptly. I was afraid I would forget to do it if I didn't do it immediately. Sometimes I see a request come in, and I'm in the middle of something, so I make a mental note to get to it as soon as I finish what I'm doing. But like a sticky note on a vertical surface, my mental notes tend not to stick very long.

So it's time to try again to get myself organized. Something that can help me track my various to-do lists, shopping lists, bills to pay, and the occasional appointment. Most planners are structured around daily or weekly appointments, with a small area to keep track of those other matters. I have few appointments, and need something to help more in the other areas.

Last December I saw a planner in the store that looked perfect - but it was for 2007. And Wal-Mart hasn't stocked the 2008 version, and I can't remember what it was called. (If you think you've seen one like this, tell me!)

In the meantime, in the spirit of disorganization, I'll go off on a tangent - about sticky notes. You may already know the history of this very useful invention, but if you don't, 3M can tell you all about it. And if you don't have many appointments, do have lots of sticky notes, and lots of wall space, you can create your own sticky note mosaic.

I'd never even heard of them before, and wondered, when I read wikipedia's entry on sticky notes, what sticky note art could possibly refer to. I don't know if it's creations such as this, or this, but I can imagine having some fun along those lines. If that's not enough to inspire you, here are some more. I remember doing paint-by-numbers as a child (which my mother disliked as she thought it stifled creativity) - do you think someone will come up with instructions for sticky-notes-by-number mosaics?

A classroom

Stuffed with 50 odd kids

I saw her

With dried egg yolk

Sticking to the corner of her lip

Our journey as class fellows

Continued… until college

Years later I heard she moved out

Now she lives in your city

Where I wanted to be

She breathes the same air as you do

Sees the same scenes

She walks on the same pavements

Feels the same feelings

When I think of that

A wave of envy travels

Through my veins

I often think

That could have been me

In her shoes

In your city

Drowned in such thoughts

I recall her standing next to me

In that silly school race

The whistle blew

We ran

And we both lost

Did I compete with her ever?

No… never

But I can’t shrug off the thought

   That she beat me in the race of time and life…

I'm tired.

For tonight--goodnight and sweet dreams.

You Saved Me

Every time I close my eyes

All I see is red.

Dripping, draining, running down

Invading all not dead.

An echo of a temper

A message – painful wrought

Leaves my slow mind reeling

In the memory caught.

I whispered without thinking

‘Please, not another victim.’

I repeat it in my head as well,

A desperate, hollow dictum.

It doesn’t seem effective

My words make no impression

I squeeze my eyes shut – waiting

For the sounds of his obsession.

A second gone, still nothing,

And – puzzled – I open my eye,

Afraid at what I am quite sure

I’ll see. I greet the room with a sigh,

He is not there, nor are is evils,

He had no chance to twist, but

Instead was driven back by just

One glance, one look, one cut.

Sheltered my heart, soothed my tears

An imperfect solution, I know it is.

How can I take my own pain away?

Then in you waltz without a care

And open all these old wounds,

Making me want to share it all,

Wade through every one of my fears.

But it isn’t safe to seek it out,

To revisit and even relive,

For surely a shoulder won’t be enough

To keep my head above the surface.

How I survived when I was younger

I couldn’t begin to comprehend.

The danger now is lack of youth

And innocence to fall back on.

I’ve cracked, I’ve splintered many times,

The lines are spreading inward.

One day they will reach my heart:

That day will be the end.

Here's a little background info: several years ago, Raymond bought a fully loaded Alienware gaming laptop.  It was working well for a while, but started giving him problems lately - a few blue screens of death, odd messages at bootup, that sort of thing. A few days ago he gave me a call saying it wouldn't boot, and that it gave him a weird message and the hard drive made "funny clicking noises". Basically, his drive was shot. We went onto newegg.com to order a replacement drive, and next thing I know we're ordering him $2500 of computer parts! Frankly, I couldn't be happier, because I've been wanted to try a full build for a while, but never had the funds available to do so. I still don't have the money, but at least now I can put a gaming rig together and get that experience under my belt. I've got a lifeline in case I screw anything up; my friend Josh works in IT and agreed to bail me out if I get stuck. The parts have started to arrive (one of his monitors came in yesterday, and most of the parts arrived this morning), and the rest should be delivered shortly. The following is a list of the components I'm using for this build:

Case: Antec P182 ATX Mid Tower

Power Supply: PC Power & Cooling Silencer 750 Watt

Motherboard: Gigabyte EP45-DS3R

Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo E8500

CPU Cooler: Zalman CNPS9700 LED

Memory: Corsair Dominator 4 GB (2x2) DDR2-1066 MHz

Hard Drives: WD VelociRaptor 300 GB 10k RPM, Samsung Spinpoint F1 1TB 7200 RPM

CD/DVD/Blu-ray Drive: Pioneer BDC-202BK Blu-ray Combo Model

Flash Reader: Sabrent CRW-UINB USB 2.0 Internal Card Reader

Video Card: PowerColor HD 4870

Monitors: Dell E248WFP 24" widescreen, HannsG JC-199APB 19" full screen

More to come later. I'm still missing the Blu-ray drive and his copy of Vista Home Premium. Hopefully they will arrive later today; I'd like to get started on this over the weekend. I would have included prices, but most of them have since changed. Click on the links to check out each product over at Newegg (exception: the Dell monitor was purchased at a Best Buy brick and mortar location). The building process will probably be spread out over four or five more entries, so check back periodically for further updates!

My neighbor was one of Little Dude's caregivers, back in the early days, when I first went back to work. Since her son is only a few months older than Little Dude, the arrangement worked out well until she decided her son needed a sibling (delivery date in November).

I know! How dare she, right?

Okay, so I do forgive her and am so thrilled to call her a friend - a friendship that truly developed through her caring for my son. And although I was sad to lose her as one of Little Dude's main babysitters, I'm just thrilled that Little Dude has a built-in friend in such close proximity.

One downside, though, to that closeness... If Little Dude hears his buddy outside (our dining room windows face their driveway and backyard - both prime play areas), he is yelling his friend's name out the window non-stop, and we won't hear the end of it unless we get the two boys together.

So, the devilish duo was at my house, and happily, it went GREAT!The boys are at the age where they follow each other around, entertaining each other, and my main jobs were making certain toys were shared and preparing a quick meal. Pretty easy... (Okay, so I only had the two of them for one hour - had I had to do nap-time or bedtime with both of them, who knows how I would be feeling now...)

Here's a glimpse at this great friendship, so far...

And then, just for the sake of old times, here is a glimpse back at the boys. My neighbor took this picture shortly after she started caring for Little Dude.

I can't get over how much they've grown! And that Little Dude still has a lot less hair than his buddy! **giggle**

Other glimpses of the boys are available here (November 2007) and here (April 2008).

The things she left in the room are haunting: a metal bird in a glass jar, a spherical weave of aluminum, a plaster cast of her face, broken off at the jaw.  They are things she will not remember.  It is hard to remember without seeing, and these things--her things--are the gifts that will greet her once she arrives home again, after a year of college.  After a year of forgetting. 

I am moved in, now.  I am a permanent resident, and for the first time in 12 or 13 years I have no roommate.  I beam at this thought.  I marvel at the space, the freedom of choice.  I sleep naked.  All things are good.  But, lying awake in bed each night, I silently lament the absence of another's breath, the presence of another life, and sleep a cold, isolated sleep.

Meski setiap langkahku penuh kerikil tajam yang menyayat, tak kau lepas genggamanmu,
dan selalu meraihku setiap saat ku terjatuh.
Setitik demi setitik cahaya perlahan menggantikan setiap relung kegelapan hatiku..
Sampai hatiku terang oleh cahaya kaupun mengendurkan genggaman dan akhirnya melepasku tuk berjalan dalam cahaya baruku
Sejak kau lepaskan genggamanmu tuk biarkan ku melangkah perlahan dalam setiap langkahku kau selalu berbisik dalam hatiku
Tetaplah melangkah tuk meniti setiap jengkal hidupmu, aku tak akan pergi jauh darimu
aku hanya berada dalam bayangmu mengikuti setiap langkahmu dan menjagamu bila kau berada dalam kegelapan lagi
Maka kan kuraih tanganmu dan kubawa ketempat cahaya berada.

Hari ini kumerasakan pedih yang tak terkira. Apakah tersisa rasa dalam hatiku.
Sedih dan hanya sedih yang dapat kurasakan, hatiku hancur bagai butiran debu tersapu angin,
tak kan mungkin tuk memungutnya kembali dan merangkai sebagai satu kesatuan utuh.
Ku menangis dalam hatiku, Air mataku tlah kering.

Engkau tlah menentukan pilihanmu, jalanmu, smoga kau bahagia.
Aku sungguh-sungguhtak kuat lagi, benar-benar tak kuat.
Aku mencoba tuk tak memikirkan engkau,
Tapi semakin sakit hatiku.. Tapi aku belum menyerah

Aku bohong pada perasaanku sendiri,
Aku bagaikan seonggok kayu terombang-ambing ditengah samudera.
Sudahlah aku udah tak kuat lagi
Selama ini kumerasa kuat, Bull shit..
Memang aku tdk punya perasaan, tidak punya hati..
Tolong bunuh saja aku daripada aku merasakan apa yang tak dapat kurasakan,
Aku benar-benar sudah tak kuat lagi...sakit yang tak terperi..
Aku menangis tanpa air mata...

Bagaimana aku bisa mencintai lagi
Kalau aku tak percaya cinta itu ada,
CINTA cukup sudah...Ini yang terakhir kalinya...
Terima kasih karena aku bisa merasakan cinta daripada aku tak pernah merasakan cinta...

Kumerasakan sakit dalam kebahagiaan..sakit karena engkau tlah pergi namun bahagia karena kau temukan cintamu...

Aku tak mau menjauh darimu, dan aku tak mampu menjauh darimu...

Sesaat kau membawaku terbang ke langit tak bertepi, sesaat kemudian kau menjatuhkanku dan biarkan aku membentur bongkahan batu
Sesaat kau satukan kembali serpihan-serpihan dan kepingan-kepingan diriku..
Kaupun bawa aku terbang ke langit, tapi kemudian kau sebarkan lagi serpihan dan kepinganku sampai tak berbekas....

7:58 All the panelists have their laptops up and open. Henry has brought donuts to entice the audience.

For an 8AM panel, there's pretty good attendance—30-or-so people [by 8:15, more like 35; if this trickling keeps up, I'll have the biggest audience of the panelists] in a room that might hold 50—I think we call this the Krugman effect. Or else it's the donuts.

Krugman will talk first, then Pierson, McCarty and me.

Perlstein sees my laptop screen and says, "Hi Mom!"

Krugman on the kinds of book reviews—reviewing a book by Murray Slotnick, you say, "Slotnick is no Marcel Proust," then you talk about Proust. This will be a comment in that tradition.

Perlstein's book conveys that sense of chaos.

Quotes Walker Percy—things fell apart, the center did not hold, but the GDP continued to rise. Krugman: Actually, it's the opposite.

The conditions that created the possibility of Nixonism are gone. No social chaos, riots, hippies, etc. But the right is frozen in amber, campaigning against those same things. The only thing left is the Franklin/Orthogonian divide (this is Nixon's term of outrage, separating the golden boys from the hard-workers, the Kennedys from the Nixons, the kewl kids versus the strivers, which is what nowadays allows ol' Twelve Houses to be seen as the reg'lar guy).

Nixonism has become institutionalized—"six angry billionaires." This gives us a lot of "fake Orthogonians," who've been brought up in this alternative institutional structure to simulate outrage at the traditional institutions.

Krugman says he doesn't know how much of this would have happened without Watts and such. But it's painful to recall it, and to recall that he thought that was as bad as it could get.

Pierson. Excellent book, 2 reactions. (1) people find it riveting, brings alive the time. (2) hard to talk about at APSA because it's not political science, it's narrative, with high level of empathy for a variety of points of view, and lots of the virtues that come with that.

Actually, Pierson says, the book convergences with a number of standard narratives of post-45 politics—those shared by the press, historians, political scientists: breakup of New Deal coalition, realignment of South. Strengthened the relative power of the GOP, increased ideological sorting between the two parties—no more conservatives in the Democratic Party.

"Clearly there's a lot to this story." A sentence that indicates another shoe dropping. Here it is: "What's not to like? Actually, I think there's quite a bit...."

Pierson has a different narrative. First an excursion to talk about what political history is like—a series of spectacles, elections, with politicians riding the waves of these events.

What does this narrative push to the side? (1) Policy; (2) Interest groups. There needs to be more of this in the narrative.

We need governance, so it isn't just contests between Red and Blue. And as for interest groups: for them, politics is a means, not an end, and they want something out of these elections. Something like a tenth of what industry groups spend on politics goes to elections; the rest to lobbying.

We need to merge these two visions. And there's a puzzle in doing this. In the 1960s, the role of the government doesn't let us see 1968 or 1972 as turning points—they're in the middle of government activism. If anything, it accelerates while Nixon is in the White House. Expansion of all kinds of New Deal/Great Society programs, of regulation, etc.

And this trend doesn't stop in 1981, it stops in 1978. Tax bill much more business-friendly. Deregulation. All with the Democratic victories of 1974 and 1976.

McCarty. A rich, insightful, entertaining, riveting, etc. book. Some difficulties. A story that's been told more often than the 1964 Goldwater story Perlstein previously wrote about.

Agrees with Pierson that the periodization could be different. Thinks the 1966 and 1970 elections are less important than Perlstein does. The 1966 election basically undoes a 1964 aberration. In 1970, the GOP underperforms because the economy's bad. So we don't get the ideological sorting Pierson mentioned until 1974 or so.

McCarty notes that income/class polarization very important lately and has a lot to do with governance. Economic division more important than sociocultural issues. And the economic separation occurs mostly in the 1970s after the book ends.

Contrariwise, wishes he could have had more on neoconservatives and the broader conservative intellectual movement.

Also, wants more attention paid to public opinion, in a systematic way, rather than quotations from newspaper articles. And more election data. And a comparative perspective—student rebellions, crime problems, these things occur elsewhere and the political responses sometimes differ from the American one.

And, there's Wilentz's Age of Reagan—doesn't it matter which politician we invoke to describe the period? Different styles of politics, different policy platforms. Reagan did something that Nixon couldn't—make the Republican Party a conservative party.

Then Rauchway goes, and I talk about Bankhead Republicanism, the inextricability of race and class in understanding the rise of Southern Republicanism, etc.

Perlstein: Thanks, this is humbling. "I stand on the shoulders of graduate students," when he does this work. He knows what path dependence and habitus are, but I don't mention them for obvious reasons. Let me lay out a kind of mainline theme, and cover some of the points here.

Perlstein stands by his characterization of the 1960s as a crucible, says that Pierson is right, of course, but there's a lag—you change the rhetoric, the state follows.

At the level of statute, bureaucracy, personnel—these things follow. Can political scientists be more formal about how these lags work?

Now, yes, we don't have the conditions that let the Nixonlanders rise, we still have the backlash to those conditions, which as Krugman says, has been institutionalized. Is this a lag, a progressive alignment crystallizing?

Gonna do another volume from 1973-80, looking at political economy, what did it mean that corporations dealt with falling rates of profits, how did they convert their concerns into policy pressures and interest groups?

Again, remarks on the importance of the unpassed 1966 Civil Rights Act, and the housing portion.

Krugman's mention of how painful the book is. Yes, Perlstein says, he does a lot of psychology in the book—and there's a paucity of historical memory on how painful the 1960s were to experience, and it's one of the ways in which that lag manifests itself.

Perlstein says, yeah, I do elections, in which lightly informed voters, courted by politicians surfing the wave of events—but I try to do that, to talk about the world of the ordinary American, and only break into the overall view rarely, that's the kind of book this is. Didn't talk about Kristol because that didn't interest me at this time.

Talks a bit about methods, and reading popular press, then "reverse engineering" that reading, to try to see how the popular press got to reporting those things. Says the 1966 act is important, again, and has a lot more research on this than he could report in the book—it's some of the stuff he put online, to talk about the role of the National Association of Real Estate Boards in creating astroturf campaigns to oppose the housing bill.

Brings him to the point that McCarty made, about the moderates elected in 1966, and a way in which it wasn't that much of a watershed. The election has come down to us as a referendum on Vietnam, which is how Nixon wanted it seen. But that's not how it was, and with Baker and Percy in particular—the GOP nationalized that election as a referendum on the housing bill, and thus on race and riots. Some people voted for Edward Brooke because they wanted to stick it to "the Negro". And Baker and Percy won on this issue, too.

Talks about how the 1970 campaign can be explained in this light, too: Republicans campaigned too hot, seemed like part of the social chaos. This is what created the opening for Reagan—who's seen now as mellow and sunny, but in 1964-66 he sure wasn't—did he shift, in response to the obvious conditions? or did he just get people to think of him that way?

That leaves us at 9:10AM. Krugman puts in a comment on Edsall's new inequality, GOP motives for creating inequality. Krugman says, too, that the polarization precedes the inequality.

Perlstein takes the opportunity too to say that Nixon doesn't care much about domestic policy, and is willing to go along with the kewl kids on things like environmentalism.

Bruce Miroff of SUNY Albany comments to see that there are certain constituencies that become problematic for Democrats, and how much this happens in this period.

Donald Tannenbaum, Gettysburg College: isn't "policy" too lofty a term—isn't there a much more ad hoc, after-the-fact process of creating meaning out of bits of legislation.

Jeremy Johnson, Brown: Are African Americans a captured constituency? that nobody really wants, because there are more racists than blacks?

Perlstein, drew on Miroff in writing the book, the Democrats got blindsided by the loss of these constituencies. Says in response to the Tannenbaum, there's a lot more intent in advance of legislation than the question implies.

I go for both these latter two questions, in my own way, which you'll have to wait for Farrell's post to know what I said.

Pierson addresses this lag question—why do the pre-Reaganish policies of the Carter era show up under unified Democratic government? You have to tell a story about the Democrats, to get this. Doesn't like the Nixon/kewl kids/didn't care about domestic policy isn't enough of an explanation. Nixon thought of himself as a sociocultural conservative, but maybe a progressive Tory on economic issues.

Krugman says there is something autonomous about the conservative shift in economic thinking. Didn't have so much to do with Nixon. It takes place because of intellectual concerns with regulation, and sometimes from Democrats.

McCarty says he still thinks that a lot of these stories about switching Democrats remain unclear, and that 1966 and 1972 are in retrospect less clear than they might have been.

I have a strong feeling that I'm doing less than justice to comments by now, being tired as I am, and I might stop. The panel might just be stopping, now, too. Though Farrell does ask a good question about time horizons, and Perlstein has a good answer about Nixon's plans, his views of scheduling, and how Watergate comes along and bollixes up his grand plan.

I couldn't possibly have commented on the product of the geniuses of Monsieurs Gilmour and Waters but Usha's post was irresistible.

Is life really that run ragged for a majority of us? Or it is just that different people live life at different speeds? It could also be that some of us have an external life involving work and other people which runs at a different pace from that of our internal life involving reflecting and questioning, couldn't it?

None of these 'models' is right or wrong, any more than it is right or wrong that we sleep in the night and work in the day. Each has its merits and its discontents. Even discontents have merit, for they spur us on to a richer internal life; it may eventually influence our external life for the better.

There is another way, as a TV ad says here in the UK (but for the blogging, you wouldn't know how this expression entered British colloquial use, would you?). That way is in the middle, the land of compromise, the land of co-existence, the land of holding hands* over lines of difference and strife.

There could be days when one has email/ text/ v-mail amnesty. None needs responding urgently and everything can wait. These are the days when one sits down to craft letters, which are then written in long hand, with a fountain pen, on personalised stationery to be sent by snail mail, a term that Usha says 'this gen' invented. Those are the days when we know that despite the speed of email, we are secretly the happiest when we receive an unexpected letter or parcel, through snail mail.

Then there are days when three phones** are ringing off the hook, the mailbox looks like the flooding Brahmaputra, Twitter DMs (direct messages) are piling up to respond especially those asking me to write for them, and sitting down may have to be scheduled for days later.

It just ebbs and flows. All the while, it moves forward. Therein, I think, lies hope in watching the passage of time.

The marriage is more important than the wedding. Usha, aren't we glad that the story is now about the marriage? The memory is more important than the photos. Aren't we glad to have some to cherish, for we all stood still for those moments to be captured?

Just my tuppence.Must go.My mailbox is calling.No time for space after fullstops.Leave you with Dali,one of my fav***.

PHOTO COURTESY: MOMA New York

* The songs I refer to may not make sense, if you do not listen to the lyrics. Never mind the hairstyles, I was growing up in the 80s!

** For those, who know the epic Hindi film, Sholay, this may prompt a snowclone "Aadmi ek, aur telephone teen? Badi na-insaafi hai!" (Hindi; Lit translation: One man and three phones? This is unfairness!)

*** I don't like only impressionism. I am a woman of many interests.

Late Addition: I sent this post to 3 friends, all women; one is editing her book for the time-starved woman; one's entire life is about negotiating time-zones as she travels a lot; and one denies my existence, if I am not marked on her kitchen calendar. If they read it, they will have demonstrated the point about the feasibility of a life where hectic moments rustle over cosy, slow ones nestling over an experience that will be a memory, one day.

Sinyo punya kebiasaan untuk selalu menyimpan cadangan data baik milik pribadi maupun kantor (entah berupa HD, flashdisk, atau cd). Manusia memang tempat lupa dan khilaf, selama bertugas di Semarang hanya sebagian kecil data saja yang Sinyo back-up. mail, tulisan pribadi, kerjaan kantor dll banyak yang Sinyo tunda untuk menyimpannya. Awal-awal bulan masih Sinyo save semua, lama-lama tertunda karena "malas" dan yakin akan kemampuan HD, toh nanti dapat dipinjam untuk copy langsung di komputer kantor Magelang atau rumah.

Setiba di Magelang, hari-hari pertama masuk kerja adalah copy file-file penting dari HD yang Sinyo bawa dari Semarang. Allah memberi ujian cukup berat, ternyata HD ngadat dan mogok kerja. Dimulai dengan sebagaian file error terbaca (Alhamdulilah dengan teracopy beberapa files masih dapat dipindah), lama-kelamaan HD sama sekali tidak terbaca komputer. Jangankan membaca file, terdeteksi bios-pun tidak. Ya Allah kemungkinan besar silinder HD rusak dan untuk recovery data jelas butuh dana segar yang cukup banyak.

Saat itulah Sinyo baru sadar, betapa Allah telah memberi waktu kepada kita terlalu banyak untuk segera mengerjakan segala sesuatu dengan baik. Hanya kita saja yang kadangkala masih menunda-nunda perbuatan baik sehingga waktu yang diberikan Allah seakan kurang. Lebih banyak hal sia-sia kita kerjakan sehingga waktu berlalu dengan cepat.

Jangan ditunda-tunda, jika sudah selesai suatu urusan maka kerjakan hal baik lainnya. Hanya menghibur diri, Sinyo masih beruntung diingatkan oleh Allah bahwa yang hilang hanya berupa file saja. Coba kalau ruh kita yang dicabut tanpa peringatan padahal kita menunda hak untuk sholat, puasa, shodaqoh atau hal baik lainnya, maka "malu" akan menjadi milik kita di akherat. Apalagi jika tertundanya urusan baik tersebut hanya gara-gara keduniaan yang bersifat merusak seperti ghibah dll bukan hanya "malu" , siksa juga kita dapatkan.

PADA HARI ITU MANUSIA KELUAR DARI KUBURNYA DALAM KEADAAN YANG BERMACAM-MACAM, SUPAYA DIPERLIHATKAN KEPADA MEREKA (BALASAN) PEKERJAAN MEREKA. (AZ-ZALZALAH: AYAT 6)

MAKA APABILA KAMU TELAH SELESAI (DARI SUATU URUSAN), KERJAKANLAH DENGAN SUNGGUH-SUNGGUH (URUSAN) YANG LAIN. (ALAM NASYRAH: AYAT 7)

If someone would have told me, even five years ago, that I could go out and get 4 Gigs of RAM for under a hundred bucks, I would have thought they were nuts.

But it's sweet ... Now if I could just get a better battery for my iPhone!

True, a good memory isn’t everything and is by no means the sole gauge of one’s intellect, if it is a reliable gauge at all. Still, you can’t deny the fact that it is easy to admire someone who can still remember your birthday after a decade or so, or someone who can blurt out exact lines from a speech or a song after listening to it only three or four times.

It comes as no surprise, then, that there are many memory enhancing supplements these days. Books about improving one’s memory abound, too. One way to sharpen your memory, though – and have fun at the same time – is simply by playing Memory Flash Mini Games.

One such example is Memory Fruit. Just like the Memory card game, all you have to do is match the cards with the identical fruits, whether they are lemons, berries, bananas or apples, in the shortest time possible.

You can try Go Go Pets, too, where you’ll have to match various objects like mushrooms and ice cream cones instead of fruits in different layers of cards until a picture is revealed. If you match identical items from two different layers, you get a bonus.

Another similar game is Catch A Thief, but instead of simply flipping over cards and matching pairs, you’ll have to look for identical thieves to automatically put them behind bars for good. You’ll want to look for the pair of cops in each set, too, since doing so will reveal all the thieves for a few seconds, allowing you to have an easier time matching them later on.

Not too interested in fruits and catching thieves? You might want to try Metro Match, instead. Each set of cards in Metro Match represents a popular city – either Paris, London or New York) and the cards show pictures of the well-loved sights in those cities. For example, the Paris set includes pictures of the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower while the New York set includes photos of Times Square and Broadway, so you can embark on a virtual sight-seeing expedition while testing your memory skills.

If you want something more challenging, you can also try Quick Pic, which shows you the cards first before giving you several seconds to match the pairs of identical flowers. The less time you use, the higher score you will get. Also, you get a perfect score bonus if you make no mistakes.

Better yet, put your memory skills to the ultimate test in Button Sequence, where you have to remember the order in which the buttons appear on the screen. One mistake, and the game is over. Yup, Button Sequence is a tough one, especially since the buttons all look almost exactly alike.

So, do you think your memory is good enough? Put your skills to the test with some Memory Flash Mini Games and see for yourself.

But The Boyfriend punched holes in walls and knowingly gave my mom a sexually transmitted disease. Mom sent me back to my dad since my step-mother was gone. All was well enough there too.

Summer came and a friend, KH, invited me to go with her and her dad, Mr. H., to Washington D.C. Every night I was gone I had to call home. On the 10th day I'd been gone and three days before we were to head back to Florida, I made my nightly call. My step-mother answered the phone.

I forgot where I was. I couldn't see my friend sitting next to me on the hotel bed. It's not her. They're divorced. She's gone, I told myself. "Dad?"

My dad got on the phone. "Mahda," he said.

"What's going on?" I asked. My voice sounded like scratches to me.

"You coming home on Sunday?" he asked.

"Yeah. I need to go," I said, not wanting to scream into the phone. Not wanting him to know how I felt. "Mr. H. needs the phone."

"Be careful up there," Dad said. "Call me tomorrow."

I hung up. My friend wanted to know what was wrong, and I opened my mouth to answer but I locked myself in the bathroom instead of explaining.

I considered the options. My mom and The Boyfriend had moved to Texas. We weren't speaking. My grandmother had moved into an apartment building for retired people. No kids for more than three days. I could just leave. I was already hundreds of miles away from home and I had my suitcase full of clothes. A little money. It would serve him right.

But I knew I wouldn't do that. I wasn't that kind of kid and I didn't want a street life. I wanted a home and shelves of books and plates of food. I wanted school and friends. I wanted what I'd told the judge. "I want to live with my dad," I said. "But I can't live in that house with her."

"I thought you wanted to live with your mother," the judge had said. We were sitting, just the two of us, at a broad table of dark, thick wood.

"I do. I mean..." I felt like a brat and a liar. "I don't want to live with J."

Now J. was back and I was in a hotel bathroom thinking dramatic teenage thoughts and wishing I were brave enough to do any one of them. Instead, I just went home.

I give my characters options and I wait for them to decide what to do. My own wishes have to get out of the way. One girl runs away. Another stays home. Sometimes I dread their decision. Other times I am relieved. But if I can't write the scene, I wasn't listening. I got in the way.

The trick is how to be close enough to hear what's going on and far enough back not to interfere. And not get so frustrated or crazed that I run away from the mess.

I have learned alot about my Grandfather in the past few days.. As I sat through the Eulogy, I realized the picture that was painted of him, was not the same as the man I knew.. The man I knew, was "controlling, always worrying, and rude".. He was a typical "grumpy old man".. but I learned to love him as that.. I would watch as he would shut people off, and push them away.. I even recal times when he would literally push me out the door.. If anything would happen that would alter his "bubble" he would freak.. but even so, I accepted him as the man he was.. and extended grace where it was needed..

There was a point, in which his demeanor changed in the past year.. As my Grandmothers health dwindled, and his fell along with it.. I knew he could sense what was at the horizon..  It was refreshing to see him, in those moments.. when words that were once blunt, and offensive, turned to words that were graceful, and filled with love.. I held on to those moments, as glimpses into the heart of a man that had been through alot.. and that at the end of the day.. he knew what mattered the most..

What grieves me the most, is the thought that it may have been too late.. Yes, it was good for the immediate family, but what about all the other lives that had been pushed away?..  Today, I have forgiven my grandfather... And will love and honor his memory, as the man he was.. The man whose heart changed in the year that I knew him..

My prayer is this.. to honor the memory of my Grandfather.. and Love others even when its not convienent.. My tendancy to isolate, and push away.. (I think it's genetic).. but I will honor his memory, by learning from his life.. and pushing forward to live a life that really matters..

B. The Buttmaster

C. Spaghetti

D. Wonder Bread

E. Orange Juice

F. Milk

G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson

B. Roy Orbison

C. Gene Autry

D. Rudolph Valentino

E. Fabian

F. Mickey Mantle

G. Cassius Clay

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you

B. He is us

C. It's the Grinch

D. He wasn't home

E. He's really me an

F.. We quit

G. He surrendered

4. Good night David.
A. Good nigh Chet

B. Sleep well

C. Good night Irene

D. Good night Gracie

E. See you later alligator

F. Until tomorrow

G. Good night Steve

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A. When you use Tide

B. When you lose your crayons

C. When you clean your tub

D. If you paint the room blue

E. If you buy a soft water tank

F. When you use Lady Clairol

G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend..
A. Stuart Whitman

B. Randolph Scott

C. Steve Reeves

D. Maynard G. Krebbs

E. Corky B. Dork

F. Dave the Whale

G. Zippy Zoo

7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar

B. Your nose is growing

C.. Pants on fire

D. Join the choir

E. Jump up higher

F. On the wire

G. I'm telling Mom

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and...
A. Wheaties

B. Lois Lane

C. TV ratings

D. World peace

E. Red tights

F. The American way

G. News headlines

9. Hey kids! What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear

B. It's time to do your homework

C. It's Howdy Doody Time

D. It's Time for Romper Room

E. It's bedtime

F. The Mighty Mouse Hour

G. Scoopy Doo Time

10. Lions and tigers and bears...
A. Yikes

B. Oh no

C. Gee whiz

D. I'm scared

E. Oh my

F. Help! Help!

G. Let's run

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone...
A. Over 40

B. Wearing a uniform

C. Carrying a briefcase

D. Over 30

E. You don't know

F. Who says, 'Trust me'

G. Who eats tofu

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings...
A. Troy Aikman

B. Kenny Stabler

C. Joe Namath

D. Roger Stauback

E. Joe Montana

F. Steve Young

G. John Elway

13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on

B. You'll smell great

C. Tame that cowlick

D. Grease ball heaven

E. It's a dream

F. We're your team

G. A little dab'll do ya

14. I found my thrill...
. In Blueberry muffins

B. With my man, Bill

C. Down at the mill

D. Over the windowsill

E. With thyme and dill

F. Too late to enjoy

G. On Blueberry Hill

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...
A. Clark Gable

B. Mary Martin

C. Doris Day

D. Errol Flynn

E. Sally Fields

F. Jim Carey

G. Jay Leno

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo

B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe

C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo

D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo

E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo

F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel

G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who..
A. Who ate the leftovers?

B. Who did the laundry?

C. Was it you?

D. Who wrote the book of love?

E. Who I am?

F. Passed the test?

G. Knocked on the door?

18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli

B. Cause I eats me spinach

C. Cause I lift weights

D. Cause I'm the hero

E. And don't you forget it

F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me

G. To outlast Bruto

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today...
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera

B. Smile, you're on Star Search

C. Smile, you won the lottery

D. Smile, we're watching you

E. Smile, the world sees you

F. Smile, you're a hit

G. Smile, you're on TV

20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy

B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket

C. Make you fat

D. Melt your heart

E. Make you popular

F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand

G. Come in colors

Below are the right answers:
1. D - Wonder Bread

2. G - Cassius Clay

3. B - He Is Us

4. A - Good night, Chet

5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs

7. C - Pants On Fire

8. F - The American Way

9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time

10. E - Oh My

11. D - Over 30

12. C - Joe Namath

13. G - A little dab'll do ya

14. G - On Blueberry Hill

15. B - Mary Martin

16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. D - Who wrote the book of Love

18. B - Cause I eats me spinach

19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera

20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

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