They even, and this is wonderful, proudly advertise that these headphones come with Monster cable. (Choice quote from article: "Various reviews have reported that listeners and viewers are unable to tell a difference between substantially higher-priced Monster cables and inexpensive cables.") If you really want to make sure that anyone with sense avoids your product on the basis that it's overpriced horseshit, put a Monster cable in it. What you'll have left is the aforementioned gullible pricks, the sort of gurgling pillocks who'll buy a pair of £280 headphones and most likely listen to fucking Nickelback through it and think it's a revolution in sound. (Strictly speaking, Nickelback are indeed a revolution in sound; albeit a Chairman Mao-ish Cultural Revolution in which sound gets the shit kicked out of it and homogenised into superficially shiny, barely listenable shite. My point still stands though.)

I can hear some of these gullible cunts in the back of my mind now (and people have bought them, there are reviews on the Apple store - choice quote: "I would have liked the branding to be more discreet, as I feel on the tube, I could become a muggers wet dream"; you probably are, if you're carrying around expensive headphones you probably have a load of other costly shit on your person too, you bellend). They're telling me that until I've used a pair of Beats, I should shut up because they could be quite good. And I'm telling them that they're wrong. I'm not that rich or stupid, and at any rate if I used them I'd probably turn into a speck of audiophile prickdust just like them. If they were shit, or just the same as any other headphones, these same twats would probably be going around exclaiming how wonderful they are just to try and justify their purchase of some shit twat-muffs for nearly 300 notes. You know, like with Monster cables.

At any rate, after the price of headphones exceeds about £50 then as far as I'm concerned the bar rises far above "good sound quality". For £280, I should be able to listen to the Pussycat Dolls and have them toss me off through the power of sound. For £280, I should be able to listen to Station to Station by David Bowie and have him do a line of coke off my desk. For £280, I should be able to listen to Afroman and get hit in the face by second-hand smoke from the biggest joint in the universe. For £280, I should be able to listen to Stevie Wonder and go blind. None of those things will happen, so I'll stick to my personally recommended earphones, Sennheiser CX300s, which cost about £20 and make pretty much everyone who's used them instantly jealous. Eat that, Dr. Dre, you bald cunt.

July 23, 2008 Beats by Dr. Dre headphones are the result of collaboration between Dr. Dre, Monster Cableand industrial designer Robert Brunner. There's certainly no question that they look the part, but also with an impressive list of features and specifications to back them up.

USD $349 on a pair.

I put on the Beats and close my eyes and the musicians are in the room with me! The nuances of how the music was produced--echoes, gentle bongo beats that increase to a head pounding boom, a whispering vocal--is clear. I heard every instrument. It moved me, tapping into my emotion, filling all my senses as if I could see or smell or touch the music-- a whole body phenomenon.

Listening to music without good speakers, or in this case, good headphones, is like looking at a fine painting that's hung in the dark. You miss the change in hues, mixture of colors, details, brush strokes. It's just a picture of something. Shine the light on that same painting and you can appreciate the emotion and the artistic expression and skill that tells the whole story. You see hidden details that delight. The Beats is like that light on the painting.

Everyone I have put the headphones on have been blown away at first note. Maria Muldaur's classic "Midnight at the Oasis" brought my girlfriend (a singer) to tears. I had to pry them off my son as he played his video game in full immersion.

iTunes compresses songs so you can fit a lot of them on your iPod, so it's such a surprise that the Beats can bring that much out in the music. Add a less compressed music format, like the digital downloads on the Monster Music discs, and it's all that much better. I think I'll seek out a good turntable and some vinyl records. I bet that will be existential!

See below for Unboxed video by Andru Edwards of gearlive.com Shows you the experience of taking them out of the box!

Legal action has been taken against Disney-Pixar, "Monsters, Inc", Monster.com, Monster Energy Drink, the Chicago Bears ("Monsters of the Midway"), the Boston Red Sox (for selling "Monster seating" on their "Green Monster" wall in the outfield), and Discovery Channel's "Monster Garage".

Now, "Monster Mini Golf" is apparently the next target, because, of course lots of people could confuse all the golf clubs, golf balls and spooky haunted house theme for a manufacturer and retailer of electronics and audio cables, right?

"They give monsters bad name", said Cookie Monster in a statement.

In an already severely sagging economy, the monsters of Sesame Street need to assert their rights to be called "Monster", so that their franchise of entertaining and scaring children around the world will not be damaged by the electronics company.

"Born" in 1967, and appearedin Sesame Street's first episode, in 1969, Cookie Monster might have a strong case on his hands.

Monster Cable was founded more than 10 years later.

Technology news blog, TechDirt, points out the use of the "moron in a hurry" test to be used in determining if this is a reasonable suit.

"They not real monster. They just acting like monster. Hurting monsters everywhere.", said Cookie Monster.

So much so that I decided to call the President/CEO of Dollar, Gary Paxton, and the Chief Marketing Officer, Scott Anderson. I left them both a voicemail this morning that gave them my name and number and told them that I recently had an experience with their company that they might want to know about.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my old manager, Pam, when I worked at Monster Cable was if you want something, figure out who the right person is that can help you and call them. This may seem obvious, on its face. But I was 18 at the time, and I wanted a poster out of a bus stop in San Francisco. The poster was for a Disney movie, so she told me to call Disney.

The idea of calling a big place like Disney seems like it's not possible when you're 18 and inexperienced. On the other hand, once I was given that directive, it just seemed obvious. What's more, it only took speaking with two people for them to agree to ship me one. Ever since then, I've been unafraid to call or speak with whomever the right person is.

Not sure if either will call me back. If you were the CEO of a company, and you received a voice mail like that, would you call the person back? As I've said several times on these pages, I would most certainly want to talk to a person who had an issue like this with NewTunes.

Companies spend thousands of dollars a year on focus groups. Well, here's a customer offering to give them insights on their business - for free. It'll be interesting to see if I hear from them.

On a related note, I called their customer service people last night, because a conversation with a few lawyer friends revealed that having a witness does, in fact, constitute proof, so I can prove that the CD case was left in the car. I was asked to leave a message with a supervisor. That call, too, has gone unreturned as of this writing.

Meanwhile, I have heard from two people who have to rent cars for work in the next two weeks - both of whom said they will specifically not use Dollar because of this.

What their marketing people are missing here is that customers are more powerful now than they used to be. I'm here to help them learn this.

*Update: This has been resolved, and Dollar really stepped up.

1. The Long and Winding Road

Well, it's not only the scientists who are all getting hot under collar with the global warming thing. It seems as our beloved veggie, Paul McCartney, decided to go all green as well. I guess green makes sense after losgina few to the one-legged wonder heathen Heather Mills. She took a few green ones off him. Okay, I am not a huge McCartney (or Beatles) fan. Especially not Sir Paul. Anyone trying to force tofu and soya down my throat better run fast. But this time he got the pale people vegetarians greenies all worked up for all the wrong reasons. He bought a hybrid. Okay, not actually bought one - got it for free from Lexus. They are not pissed because he got it for free. Nah, it is interesting that those who have will get more, but that's not the reason. No. Sir Pale Paul got his hybrid flown in all the way from Japan... A bit of an environmental footprint hey? The equivalent of driving it 300 times around the earth. I'm not bugged, I say just Let It Be.

2. Libya liberated

It is official. Libya is back on the good side of life. Yes, the country called Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, but known to close friends as just plain old Libya, is now officially the place to be. Okay, not really official, but still - the signs are there that it is the in place right now. No Gaddafi didn't hand out oil for free or open a Arab Disney. Actually, I don't know why they are the place to be. I just know they are. Just the other day they caught 240 illegal immigrants hanging around the beaches at Tripoli. Must be the weather. Can't be that they were trying to get into Italy by any chance. I mean really. Italy? Why the hell would you want to do something like that? You know how I feel about Italy...

3. Flip-flop, here we go... again

Question to Presidential candidate: "Do you think that American diplomats should be operating the way they have in the past, working with the Palestinian government if Hamas is now in charge?"

Presidential candidate answered: "They're the government; sooner or later we are going to have to deal with them, one way or another, and I understand why this administration and previous administrations had such antipathy towards Hamas because of their dedication to violence and the things that they not only espouse but practice, so . . . but it's a new reality in the Middle East. I think the lesson is people want security and a decent life and decent future, that they want democracy. Fatah was not giving them that."

So McCane would be all over your... hum... backside it you said that right? I mean come on. Obama shouldn't be saying things like that. Talking to extreme governments. It should just not be done by an American President. What? Obama didn't say that? Oh... McLame said that... Just 2 years ago. Maybe it is his age catching up. I can understand that. He can't even remember where he put his teeth last night. Or his comb-over hair. Sad thing is. People will swallow this and vote for the man. I think it is Kool-Aid. Or could be stupidity.

4. Monster sue Monster sue Monster sue Monster...

So you are just playing a nice game of mini-golf and when you think to yourself. I should really get cable from these guys. It must be the blue lights getting you all confused and the putter feels a bit like a remote control. Now, you must be pretty stupid to confuse mini-golf with cable right? No - I don't mean watching Caddyshack on the box. I mean thinking that a mini-golf outfit will sell you cable on the side. Stupidity knows no end. Monster Cable is suing Monster Mini Golf because of copyright infringement. WTF? My question exactly. But it's okay. They've also sued Discovery over their Monster Garage series. And Monster.com. And Disney for Monster Inc. And the Red Sox for Monster Seats on the... Green Monster. I guess they are hoping for a Monster payout. Keep dreaming guys. Acting like Monsters, sorry little "m" - monsters, won't get you much sympathy. I'll sue if you dare register Angry Monster on the Loose. Monster! Monster! Monster! monsters. Now, let's sit back and wait to get sued.

5. Stopping poverty at the door

I think this Samuelson dude (sorry, Robert J. Samuelson) needs to get back to university. Start reading Logic 101 instead of The Economist. I think he might be conservative. Hear him out. "Finally, let's discuss poverty. Everyone is against it, but hardly anyone admits that most of the increase in the past 15 years reflects immigration -- new immigrants or children of recent immigrants. Unless we stop poor people from coming across our Southern border, legally and illegally, we won't reduce poverty." Hum... Dude. I apologize. That is way logic. You will reduce poverty by letting less poor people in. Hum... Dude. I really don't know what to say. Maybe you should become Mac's economic adviser. Your sense of economics makes about as much sense as his views on war, torture, foreign policy, Hamas flip-flop, Sonny & Cher, (sorry, Sunni & Shiite), gas prices and his comb-over. Here's another few pieces of logic Mr Smartypants - stop the killing by stopping the war or stop the dying by giving people health-care or stop the bigotry by giving people equal rights or stop the pain by stopping the torture or stop global warming by stopping the oil. Puh-lease. As if you have the balls or logic to do that.

That's it folks. See ya later. And have a great, great weekend.

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Monster is also infamous for other litigious actions to those companies that uses Monster anywhere in there name. Monster Vintage Clothing company was threatened if they did not comply to Monster's demands. Monster did not hesitate to use strong arm tactics by stating to Monster Vintage that they would not hesitate to take their company.

A ( Proposed) Personal License Agreement From Monster Cables General Counsel to Monster Vintage Clothing

• Monster cable will grant Monster Vintage a license to use "Monster Vintage" and "Monstervintage.com" for the sale of new and used clothing on the internet
• Monster Vintage will not have the right to use "Monster" on clothing items or products
• Monster Vintage will cease using the "M" logo, or any other logo style or font which is similar to Monster Cable's
• The term of the license will be for ten years, with 5 renewable options at Monster Vintage's request
• monster Vintage will not be charged a royalty fee for this license, nor a fee for any renewals
• Monster vintage must continue to operate it's website at a quality level equal to what it currently providing. If Monster Vintage fails to meet these quality standards, Monster Cable may terminate the agreement after providing Monster vintage notice and a 30 day period to cure.
• Monster vintage will not file a registration ( or attempt to register) any of the licensed marks.
• Monster Vintage may assign this license, if the company is sold upon Monster cable's approval, which will not be unreasonably withheld, provided that the new owner agrees to the provisions of the agreement. If the parties are able to reach agreement on a license, Monster cable will dismiss it's lawsuit and claim. if I missed anything , please let me know Thank you, Dave (David) M Tognotti General Counsel

Also on their bullying list was Snow Monster's , a website that teaches kids about skiing. as well as Monster Garage, the Television show about car building projects. Don't you think enough is enough!

IT IS TIME FOR THE MONSTER TO BE SLAIN! BOYCOTT MONSTER CABLES!

Then there's Blue Jeans Cable. They certainly don't spend any money on webdesign, but apparently their cables are pretty good as well. And not quite so expensive (their most expensive speaker cable is about a tenth of the price), so more in my price range.  Recently Monster alleged that Blue Jeans Cable violated some of their intellectual property and sent off a 'cease and desist letter'. Turns out that Kurt Denke, the President of Blue Jeans is an ex litigation lawyer, who states in his elaborate answer (which he made public) to Monster:

'Not only am I unintimidated by litigation; I sometimes rather miss it.'

That letter has shot the guy and his company  to instant stardom with Reddit positively celebrating the man. His well formulated and lengthy reply hints that Monster doesn't have that much legs to stand on anyway. This is PR that you can't buy for money. Even I have just ordered a missing HDMI cable from them.

It's nice to see lawyers with a sense of humour, working for the right side for a change.

Update 15.4.08, 22:00 GMT: Now it's on slashdot. That means mainstream media will pick it up next. Just sit back and watch the spectacle unfold.

Much better with a Monster HDMI
Lately I've been thinking about cables like car tires. When I go to buy new tires, the salesperson goes on about radials and tread patterns and lots of stuff that I don't care much about. It's when I hear the word "performance" that I listen. I have a decent car and live in the mountains so I want good handling. I'm not going to buy the cheapest tires, I want ones that will last, be backed by a reputable manufacturer and allow my car to handle to the best of its ability. And I know I wouldn't buy the cheapest tires if I were to have a high performance car. The difference between cables and tires is that the price difference on quality tires is several HUNDRED dollars. The price difference for quality cables is at most a hundred dollars, and more likely only $50.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to rip my system apart to replace a cable that has stopped working, or worse, not realize that the quality has diminished and just complain that my TV isn't looking so good.

I'm going to get it right the first time. And Monster has the Cable For Life, HDMI cable where I know I'll never have to spend another dime for an HDMI cable if I get new equipment. Learn more about HDMI at the Monster HDMI learning Center .

In the years on the sales floor selling home theater, I learned about Monster Cable and did my own blind tests (and continue to do so today). Often, I could see actual differences—better contrast, richer color, more details, less interference and artifacts—when I upgraded my cables and even when I couldn’t pinpoint it, I noticed a “feel” of more realism.

I have heard that digital cables are all the same, but have seen for myself and since learned by interviewing the engineers and inventors of HDMI, this is not at all true, particularly with advanced high definition TVs and sources. There is a lot of information being transferred over cables with higher definition video and uncompressed audio. Steps must be taken to ensure that all of the signal arrives at the right time without digital packets of information being dropped, or interference altering the packets and creating artifacts, digital snow, or other picture degradations. This is much more apparent on today’s big screen TVs.

A quality cable that has been tested to be sure that all of the signal arrives at the right time is essential to get all of the performance possible from the components and TV. First, being sure that signal is not lost via poor soldering of the connectors to the wires. And being sure that the cable does not lose signal or gain interference by having a well-insulated cable. And finally, choosing the cable that is speed tested to get me the best performance for the gear that I am connecting. If I am connecting a satellite or cable box with 1080i, compressed video, it’s appropriate that I buy a less expensive standard speed, quality HDMI cable. If, however, I want the best from my Blu-ray Disc player (that I may have spent $1000 for plus $30 per movie) I am going to want to get an ultimate high-speed, quality HDMI cable. And I’m even happier if I buy a “Cable for Life” so I don’t have to purchase another cable in a couple of years because technology has advanced. These are the quality features available on Monster Cables speed rated HDMI cables.

If I’ve spent thousands of dollars on a high definition TV and high def player, and I’m spending money each month for high definition programming, I don’t think skimping on cables for a one time, extra $50 to $100 is a wise decision. I bought a 1080p, FULL HD TV because I want that improved picture quality. A few more dollars to make sure that I get all that I paid for is worth it to me.

Barb Gonzalez
The Simple Tech Guru

Note: Because of my passion for home theater quality, I have decided to work with Monster Cable on consumer education. We are working together to simplify buying, hooking up and setting up home theaters through a book, Home Theater Made Simple, web education and the monstercommunity forum. Look for my blog and tips at www.monstercommunity.com.

¿Qué sonará mejor? ¿Un equipo conectado con un cable de sonido Monster de cincuenta euros, o con una simple percha de tintorería hecha de alambre metálico? Esa fue la prueba que a una persona se le ocurrió hacer en The Consumerist:  hizo las oportunas conexiones, sentó a  un grupo de personas ante un equipo de música, hizo sonar un fragmento de una canción dos veces, y preguntó cuál de las dos había sonado mejor. Tras una serie de repeticiones, la conclusión resultó clara: resultaba imposible encontrar diferencias en la calidad del sonido.

El experimento sigue a años de discusión entre audiófilos empedernidos acerca de la conveniencia o no de gastarse el dinero en este tipo de sofisticados cables recubiertos de baños dorados si, como parece demostrarse, resulta imposible percibir diferencias en la calidad del sonido transmitido. Anteriormente, C|Net había hecho pruebas similares con cables HDMI, para terminar demostrando que los más baratos funcionaban exactamente igual que los más caros sin merma de calidad discernible, y recomendando, por tanto, comprar siempre los más baratos.

Pruebas de este tipo ponen de manifiesto los problemas que la red plantea a las marcas que utilizan la diferenciación como estrategia, basándose en muchas ocasiones en atributos de muy difícil percepción o, simplemente, en puros mitos. La diferenciación es una de las estrategias genéricas de Porter, basada en la singularización del producto o servicio que ofrece la empresa creando atributos que sean percibidos por el mercado como únicos o exclusivos, y por los cuáles el mercado esté dispuesto a pagar un premium. Tradicionalmente, las pruebas destinadas a comprobar la veracidad de este tipo de atributos estaban en manos de actores que resultaban influenciables mediante presupuestos publicitarios o incentivos de otro tipo.. hoy, cualquiera con suficientes ganas puede organizarse una prueba, comentarla en un foro o un blog, y que aparezca automáticamente en un montón de sitios. En esas condiciones, mantener estrategias de diferenciación basadas poco menos que en mitos puede convertirse directamente en imposible.

If you are wondering what Dr. Dre has been up to these days besides lifting weights and still putting his highly anticipating Detox album on the back burner, he is actually getting involved with electronics. He and Interscope Records Exec Jimmy Iovine linked up with Monster Cable and created these high state of the art headphones called “Beats”. They were showcased at this past weekend's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas and announced that the $400 headphones will be available spring of 2008.

Dre says:

"When I'm making a track I'm trying to capture the sound that makes me go 'now THAT's the sh*t! And I want that reaction from everybody who hears it. I spend a lot of time in the studio listening to my music through headphones...with Beats, people are finally going to hear it the way they should: the way I do."

Great. Just exactly what I wanted, to hear music "the way he does". And of course he cleary said nothing about that Detox album, but then again I wasn't expecting him to. That is great and all that he's stepping up his business ventures, but I would rather see some music coming out of him first.

Source: ZDnet, via digg