As the pink slips fly this summer at the old, elite daily newspapers from coast to coast, I continue to hear editors say "the model is broken." That's a tip that they know not what they do. Corporations don't call operational or marketing plans models. Businesses run on plans, financial reports including daily sales, expenses, industry trends, local trends and regroup when "off plan." There is always Plan B.

Now a columnist at the Poynter Institute, the non-profit think tank created by Nelson Poynter to continue the St. Pete/Clearwater Times past his death (and keep the company operational after the Democrats' death taxes), is saying this is a good time to buy newspaper stock. Not so much.

McClatchy's stock is worth a gallon of gas, about $4.50. Think about that the next time you fill up.  Even the New York Times total assets are worth no more than its new building and the stock has no voting rights. A bargain at $13? You think?

But before you make a play at any of these stocks, remember the ancient Chinese saying, "Do not try and catch a falling knife."

What is a newspaper worth? Compare it to an airline. Both industries have major payrolls, they are labor intensive, service businesses and both have major fuel costs. (Yeah, boys on bicycles don't deliver papers anymore). Add newsprint to the newspaper costs.

Airlines sell seats. Newspapers sell space.

The airlines have business travelers and summertime vacationers. They have not lost any business class revenue and have done well with family fares because it is cheaper to fly than drive this summer. An airline can just cut back on less popular destinations. Keep the plane behind schedule and get a few more seats filled.

Newspaper revenue comes from advertising. They sell pages or column inches of advertising space instead of seats. But the newspaper planes take off every morning. They are flying the planes with a lot of empty seats.

The newspapers are run by the editors and sub-editors. Are airlines run by the flight attendants and pilots? I think not. Well, one is in a way. It's not doing very well.

Advertising revenue is filling up the seats of the new online airbuses: Google, Yahoo, Drudgereport and Craigslist, with targeted advertising buys. The new online media has attractive "destinations:" young, well-educated middle class.

The newspapers destinations are not so hot. Think of 70 year olds in black socks, sandles and checker shorts, sitting at a park in Cleveland. "Wish you were still here."

Not a pretty picture.

They will form "guilds" and get together to discuss the days when they had a hand in bringing down presidents and most members of the Republican party. The fun they had trashing the military, mocking MBAs and smearing corporate CEOs -- good times! Meanwhile, they helped rewrite history, making heroes of Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro.

Not unlike model railroad enthusiasts, retirees who waste away hours building mini cities with lichen evergreen trees and molded plastic mountains, old journos will have artifacts displayed around their rent-protected apartments, posters of Che, old typewriters, Green T-shirts, famous front pages of newspapers like "BUSH WINS!" printed before the Florida recount, they still don't realize the headline was right, Bush did win and the Democrat party in Dade and Palm Beach counties tried to count bumps and chads as votes, while they discounted votes from resident military.

Former journalists will be semi-retired, working as greeters at Wal-Mart or sales associates at Borders Books. Those will be the better day jobs. Some will have blogs with readership in the dozens rather than tens of thousands they had in their hay days.

They can pretend to put out daily editions with DVDs playing classics like "The Front Page," "All the President's Men," and episodes of "Lou Grant."

Some will retain their journalist title by writing freelance for the local alternative press or if they are really good, the surviving monopoly big city newspaper that puts out a free tabloid addition once a week to augment its online daily edtions 'Updated by the Minute' will be one of their promotions.

"Pass me some prunes with sea grass, Debbie! Let's write some sidebars on tips to avoid global warming." "Wasn't it grand that we saved Anwar from the gluttonous oil companies?" "Gas is $8 a gallon now as it is in Europe." "America has finally matured."

"I walk to the corner co-op for groceries anyway; that's the way it should be."

"I'm sure thankful Obama saved our Social Security..."

-- Mick Gregory

McLaren, like Randolph, is paying for the sins of those around him. It's hard to fathom that the same team that rallied around him after he replaced Mike Hargrove in the middle of last season could just out and out collapse on him like that, but they did, and when this sort of implosion happens, the manager will go, no matter how much he actually is to blame for the mess. I personally don't think anyone can really fix a situation where Richie Sexson continues to hit below .250 with a gargantuan contract or Jose Vidro is the best candidate to be your designated hitter (this in the city that Edgar Martinez defined the modern conception of the DH, too.) The trade for Erik Bedard was supposed to pay dividends, but the team's middle relief has coughed up when he's done well.

The new Mariners' front office folk have some hard times ahead, because there is dead weight to get rid of if the team would ever care to be a serious contender in the AL West. You can probably keep Ichiro, Felix Hernandez, Bedard, J.J. Putz, and maybe Adrian Beltre on the "untouchables" (and you'd have to be feeling generous to include Beltre), but the rest of it -- put it out on the curb and see if someone's interested in picking it up for cheap.

The interim GM says it was an "emotional" meeting and that McLaren was "an emotional guy."

No shit, Sherlock. You think?

Online registration for applicants will remain available until March 24, 2008

What:

Oregon's Professional Educator Fair brings together top school districts and outstanding teacher candidates for a valuable time of information sharing and interviewing.  (231 Agencies registered for the 2007 Fair--a record number!)

2008 registered agencies have reserved more separate interview space than any year previously.  It should be a great hiring season!

When:

Tuesday, April 1, 2008  Open to all registered candidates

Wednesday, April 2, 2008 By Appointment Only (for interviews set on 4/1/08 to registered candidates)

Registration Fee:

Online registration on or before March 24 is $15.00. Registration on April 1 at the door is $25.00.   Candidates will receive a manual upon entering that will provide information about employer booth locations as well as projected position vacancies communicated by districts when they registered.

Looming budget cuts throw state's schools into turmoil

By MICHELLE DeARMOND, SHIRIN PARSAVAND and MELANIE C. JOHNSON
The Press-Enterprise Thousands of teachers across California have received pink slips for next school year from districts reacting to Gov. Schwarzenegger's call for a 10 percent cut to all state-funded programs starting in July.No one knows how many teachers actually will end up unemployed. First, state legislators from both parties have to team up to pass a budget and then Schwarzenegger must approve it. Already Democrats are balking at severe cuts to schools, and Republicans have said they won't vote for any budget that raises taxes.

But experts and lawmakers agree the situation is dire. Regardless of the usual political grandstanding and partisan gamesmanship that accompany budget negotiations, the state does has a growing deficit, and education will take a hit in fiscal year 2008-09. Schwarzenegger has said the state must make cuts to deal with a stagnant economy caused by the mortgage crisis, job losses and a severe drop in retail sales.

 http://urlet.com/settings.scheduling

On reflecting, I see this picture...

While I'm cooling my heels between jobs,

As a Marketing Consultant,

Account Director, or Project Manager;

Am reeling from stumbles, though not quite humbled

Through vain attempts by upstarts at start-ups;

Or again, am beat from chasing admen (& women),

The top twenty are at power lunches;

The rest, as always in a tug-of-war,

Caught between PowerPoint presentations,

Branding, or, 'new' product launches;

A few have quit; others not quite;

't was rumored they received those dreadful pink slips,

Firmly clipped to their parting pay-slips.

Was it a fall-out of M&A trends,

Those dominating the world... even of A&M!

(Surely, the mighty on Mad Ave aren't in a tizzy!)

Time ticks away, listening to mailbox options,

Whenever I call a recruiter, a prospective client,

or even to pay those endless bills!

Contrarily, when I call my twin companion,

words-n-motion a.k.a. Chitralekhan,

It only means I'm saying goodbye to

a meaningless "hello",

or the endless waiting on those cold, unfeeling,

automated voice-message systems!

So the news came out some time yesterday that Cris Carter, formerly of HBO's Inside the NFL, picked up a new gig with ESPN (via Awful Announcing.) Natch, that added one more voice to an already overloaded cadre of former players as analysts, and something probably had to give. Thankfully, that something was Sean Salisbury, who will be looking for new employment, and will be very lucky if Fox Sports even gives him a sniff at one of the shows they banish to their cable "network" of sports stations late at night.

I'll miss some things about the blowhard: the easy, cheap picture message dick jokes his one-week suspension got him, and the even easier shots he invited by his mere presence. However, all that shit is outweighed by his obvious blowhard quality, and the stupid argument segments the producers would put him in with NFL writer John Clayton, who clearly sat on the other side of the camera, exasperated about wasting his time with such idiocy. That plus Salisbury's tendency to be wrong in the loudest ways possible were less than edearing -- if a Deadspin contributor is naming an attempted mock column of frequently incorrect football convention wisdom "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom", you know you've hit a bad path somewhere down the line as an analyst.

All we need is to talk Bil Dwyer out of the stand-up circuit and we've got ourselves a BattleBots reunion all set and ready to go, frankly.

(I loved BattleBots, by the way. Don't you dare fucking judge me.)

Seriously people, do your papers not care what you write?

Working at Yahoo is getting riskier by the day. Even before merger-minded Microsoft could lay off some of the stars within its acquisition target, Yahoo executives beat them to it.

But there are some key Yahoo employees who are so indispensible for their experience, skill or leadership, that Microsoft would be crazy to let them go in the event of a merger, observers, insiders, and former Yahoo employees say.

Several of those mentioned by sources as vital to Yahoo were among the casualties of Tuesday's layoffs, which totaled an estimated 1,100. The layoffs are the latest black spot for Yahoo, which has been struggling to redefine itself in the shadow of Google's dominance in both search and online advertising. In an attempt to better compete with Google, Microsoft has made a $31-a-share offer for Yahoo, but Yahoo's board has rejected it as too low.

"The company was significantly overstaffed and with a coming consolidation with Microsoft there is going to be pretty dramatic overlap," said Jim Barnett, who left Yahoo in 2003 and is now chief executive of Turn, an automated targeting ad marketplace.

Read more...

Over the next couple of months, AOL will lay off 2,000 people out of a worldwide workforce of 10,000, according to a letter to company employees sent by CEO Randy Falco today, said a report in The Washington Post. These staff reductions begin Tuesday.

In a mail to AOL employees, Falco said, “Importantly, we're taking the business global. We're extending AOL's reach into seven new countries this year while globalizing our product development efforts. By the end of next year, AOL will have a presence in 30 countries. That's a remarkable achievement in a relatively short period of time”.

For all his self congratulation, Falco by expanding into other markets may be over-committing AOL, taking it further down the tube. Outside the US, AOL does not have a strong brand or the stickiness that a portal requires. In the US, a lot of users still swear by AIM, AOL’s Instant Messenger, and some use its email service too.

But in most other countries, instant messengers and email services from Yahoo Inc., MSN, and Google Inc. already have a head start. These are the applications that generally bring users to a portal.

Unless AOL comes up with a new killer application, there isn’t a way they can dislodge the current players in each market. Many countries have their own very strong local players.

AOL.com has a traffic rank of 51 to Yahoo.com’s first place, according to traffic rankings from Alexa Internet Inc.